that tannenbaum feeling

This year's Trimming of the Tree went off pretty much without a hitch... at least no hitches other than those that happen when Ma and I are trying to do any project together that requires communication and teamwork (which is a slight exaggeration, but we both know how to push each other's buttons like nobody else). But at least we weren't working on about four hours of sleep this time...

Well, there was one big fat hitch, but that wasn't directly related to the whole tree experience, so I'll get to that later.

I'm suddenly looking at the photos for the last couple of years worth of decorated Christmas trees and realising that with a couple of minor alterations, the tree (and, by extension, the photo) pretty much looks the same every year, and I could probably just recycle the same photo every year and nobody (but me) would be any the wiser.

Likewise, the plan of the day stays the same, it's only the minor details that change. But it does seem like we've been more in the Christmas groove this year than we have the last couple of years... not just with the tree trimming, but everything. Which makes for much more smooth sailing... which I like.

I was up nice and early this morning and I headed down to Ma's fairly early too, I think I rocked up just before 8am... and, once again, unlike the last couple of years, Ma was completely organised and ready to go... so after the usual random banter that happens when we haven't seen each other for about a week, and a little bit of breakfast and a skim through the Sunday paper, we got down to work... and it was still pretty early.

Oh, before I get to that... a few weeks ago I bought an el-cheapo double CD set of Christmas music that said "Christmas Dance Party" on the cover... now, I knew this was going to be bad... but I kind of thought that just maybe it might live up to the title on the cover, you know... all Christmas doofdoof music. And it did stick to the "party" bit... if the party was in 1975!!! Oh! My! God! Talk about tackarama... amusing as all hell, and kinda cool in it's own way, but it's about as "dance party" as shag pile carpeting and feathered haircuts *rolls eyes*. Funny though.

Now, getting back to the treeness...

Once again I added to my ongoing collection of notes on boxes... which invariably either amuses the crap out of us, or is useful advise, or quite often both.

We still had trouble with putting the lights on again... I think we might have worked out some sort of system, but that only really came together towards the end of the ordeal, so we'll have to see how it works out next year.

Also like last year, when we got around to the baubles I didn't really try too hard with avoiding the whole "baubles of the same colour close to each other"... we have a LOT of baubles in gold and green and red (and we bought some more last year in the sales), so if I had really tried to spread the colours evenly I think my brain may well have exploded...

So the tree was all trimmed and good to go in reasonably short order... considering... maybe a couple of hours, if that.

It was about then that the hitch set in.

Last night I was getting stuff ready here for my few Christmas decorations (including my seemingly rapidly expanding collection of toy soldiers and nutcrackers that have appeared out of thin air in the last few months), so I did a bit of dusting and packed some bits and pieces away to make room for the seasonal variations. Then I got my big nutcracker out (okay, that just sounds filthy to me) and decided to unpack the clear plastic reindeer I bought back at the end of October. And when I got it out of the packaging... WAAAAHHHHHHH... one of it's antlers had snapped off. When I originally saw the reindeer, I had assumed that the antlers were actually metal... but no, metallic coloured plastic, and somehow, somewhen, most likely before I even bought the thing, the antler had snapped *pout*.

So since there's a Myer near Ma, I took it up with me and we rang them to see if they had one... bimbo on the phone took our details and said that she'd call us back. Never happened. Stoopid bimbo. But we had to go to the shops anyway, so we took the reindeer with us to see if they had any and we could swap it over.

Of course, they didn't have any... and when we got back from shopping we called the city store, nope... Marion (where I bought it), nope... Tea Tree Plaza, nope... but we care talking about Christmas casuals who are employed on a Sunday, so it's possible that were completely clueless... so I'm going to go into the city store tomorrow and maybe call Marion as well, see if I can't rustle up one somewhere. If all else fails, I'm going to repair the antler with superglue or something.

Anyway, remember how yesterday I said I wasn't going to buy Ma anything else... yeah, I'm just going to shut up about that until Christmas Eve... we saw one of those Spiral Spinner things (kind of like these) in one of the discount stores for $6 (I'm not sure how much it had been... $20 maybe)... so I bought it for her. Sadly they only had ones with yellow spheres in them (on the box they had a purple one which would have been better)... but then that was probably why they were $6...

I also found another little toy solider ornament... and we came up with a way to display the ornaments (for now anyway), a $3.50 metal "mug tree"... it's not quite right, but I have no idea what the right thing IS, so this will do for now.

Then we came back to Ma's... had some linner... ummm... dunch... why is there no word for a meal between lunch and dinner? I mean brunch is a very serviceable word, but there's no equivalent for the afternoon (that I know of)... anyway, we had a late lunch/early dinner and then got organised to wrap a few presents.

We did have a slightly scary moment going through all the discounted ornaments we've bought in the last couple of years to attach to presents... some of the ones from our last excursion are just plain WRONG... but I had no recollection of a number of them, so it was fun to unwrap them all and see what had.

The actual wrapping mostly went well... Ma had a few senior moments, but we wrapped some bits and pieces, sorted out some other things, I picked out some bags and boxes and whatnot to wrap Ma's things in... and before we knew it it was 6pm. I'd planned on heading home at about 7:30, partly because the new season of America's Next Top Model was in the TV Guide as starting tonight... so I figured I'd watch it down at Ma's and then come home... but once again the TV Guide couldn't find it's ass with both hands and a map, and ANTM wasn't on at all... but we'd packed up before I realised, so I ended up coming home about half an hour early.

And of course, because the day we end up putting up the tree is ALWAYS the same day that the idiots in my street throw their annual Christmas Street Party, I came home to general noisy randomness outside my bedroom window. Fortunately they're all gone now, which is a bonus. I guess I was kind of due to encounter them... I've missed the whole thing for the last few years, having stayed much later at Ma's, but with work and whatnot, I wanted to come home and organise things (plus I had a blog post to write).

So here I am, with a living room that's covered from one end to the other in random Christmas related crap, and all I have to do now is summon up the energy to go deal with it all...

Wish me luck!

Oh, by the way... there's only 25(ish) days until Christmas!

Current Mood:

movember: week four

"Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty, I'm free at last..."

Today is the last day of Movember, and tomorrow I can finally shave my top lip again!

Actually, I'll let you in on a little secret, I didn't want to have to go through all the Christmas Tree Construction with my own little facial hair tree lurking on my lip being all moustachey, so last night I trimmed it back to about the same stage as the end of Week One. But I still haven't shaved so technically it's still there (but then I can rationalise or justify just about anything, so we won't go there).

Can you tell that I've been having some sort of moustache-related cabin fever for the last few days? Maybe it was because the end was in sight, maybe my mo was just getting a little bit long (although it doesn't look like it in the picture, bits of it were kind of long and straggly and generally pokey)... but it had just been getting on my nerves. Part of the problem was it was growing more or less at a right angle to my face... which is why it never quite looked as lush in the photos as perhaps it did on my face (I say "perhaps" with very little certainty)... it was all sticking straight out before it started on the downward bit... stoopid inability to grow sensible facial hair...

Before I trimmed it, I was slightly conflicted about how I would feel once it was gone... it's been around for a whole month, which could be a record as far as me and facial hair goes (it certainly is where mos are concerned, that's usually the first bit to go)... and in some ways I have grown attached to it (no pun intended), attached to stroking it and taking it's photo every afternoon when I got home from work, and it just generally being there.

But like I said, over the last couple of days it's started to feel like a burden and like it's been getting in the way. So once I trimmed it, no big guilt, just relief... which I can only assume will increase when it's gone for good.

And honestly, I think this is a memory that will stick with me, but if I make even the vaguest suggestion next year about taking part again, could somebody please point me in the direction of this post? Then please smack me upside the head and tell me "no"...

I'd like to give big, heartfelt thanks to fellow blogger Tom and local lurking commenter Liz for their donations... your contributions are greatly appreciated *hugs*. Without checking all my bits and pieces, I think I've made between $90 and $100 in donations all up, which is pretty good I think... not great maybe, but decent.

So... so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen and goodbye to my "lip rat", it's been interesting, but now it's time for you to go...

Current Mood:

people is crazy

I tell ya what... people is crazy...

Obviously it's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas, and that smell is plain old crazy with the slightest touches of panic and desperation...

Everybody just seemed to be nuts today... and of course it didn't help because a) I'm nuts too, b) I was shopping on my own and c) people are inconsiderate and stupid.

You know how I said last Sunday that I shouldn't be allowed out of the house by myself again until Christmas... well that plan didn't work out so great, and neither did the "fork me, I'm done" plan...

But I'm getting(ie Ma ahead of myself...

With the other half of the regular Saturday Shopping Comedy Team (ie Ma) off doing her own thing this morning, I was left to wander somewhat less aimlessly about the shops on my own... which started off pretty okay, I got to the supermarket just after they'd opened (I would have been there before they opened, but I forgot my empty honey container and had to go back for it), trundled around, probably bought way too much stuff I didn't really need (although a bunch of stuff I use to make Rocky Road was on special, so I stocked up for the Christmas batch), then wandered across the street and looked at more stuff, then came back and dicked around in Red Circle for far too long.

And it was one of those days where I just kept seeing things I would have pointed out to Ma had she been with me. Nothing earth shattering (a new fragrance in this, a new design on that, a possible addition to the Christmas stocking for whatsherface), but just stuff I would have said "oooh, look at that" about...

I also noticed Ma's absence, not so much with the shopping (although again, I probably got through it quicker on my own) but when I got to the checkout and was trying to juggle the recycled bags I'd brought with me and unpacking the trolley and just whole thing really... we usually divide and conquer, I unpack, she deals with the bags... but I ended up feeling a little flustered at the end of it... which was so totally about me rather than the nice lady at the checkout. And I know that it's just because I'm out of practice at shopping solo... I used to do it every week, all on my very own (of course that was before the whole recycled bag craze), and on a Thursday too.

For the most part though, people at my usual supermarket and associated areas, no crazier than usual...

After a quick trip to see The Honey Man, I came back here to unpack and whatnot and then I was left with only a vague and somewhat unformed plan of what to do with the rest of my day.

I started with a trip to Harbour Town... there's a Converse Shop down there, and after thinking about it for a while over the last couple of weeks I decided that I wanted a pair of Converse All Stars (actually what I really want are a pair of Converse Jack Purcells in leather... but that's all Sugarmonkey's fault... he has a pair he wears every Friday, and I covet them something chronic... now if only they made them in red), so after some slight trouble (okay, a lot of ongoing trouble) with both the skinny, skinny, skinny shoe boxes and the teeny tiny aisles in the shop and the seat that kept rising up on either side of me like an over inflated balloon every time I sat down or moved and massive amounts of indecision (red or grey with zippers across the hell with strips of bright fabric behind them), I settled on a pair of red Chuck Taylor All Star Hi-Tops... which unfortunately weren't on special like the grey ones, but I got them anyway (I was briefly tempted by a pair of tall Converse boots that actually had a zipper up the side, and if they'd had them in anything even remotely resembling my size, I probably would have bought them instead).

Then I just kind of wandered somewhat aimlessly up and down the single, winding "street" that is Harbour Town, trying to avoid the mass of squealing girlies who were congregating to see this year's Australian Idol Preschooler, Tom Williams... it was funny actually, when I went past the first time all I saw was the sign, and I thought it was THIS Tom Williams, which confused me since the crowd milling around seemed very young... but when I wandered back and saw the apparent 12 year old with pink hair signing autographs (and just the back of his head at that), the penny dropped.

And then, when I was walking past the window of The Perfume Connection, I saw these in the window:

Too cute, too cute, too cute, too cute...

They're Harajuku Lovers Fragrance by Gwen Stefani (or by her L.A.M.B. brand, or some permutation or combination of some company owned or licenced by her)... but I probably would have just ogled them in the window and that would have been that, had it not been for the fact that one of the girlies in the shop came out to check something in the same window and we had a little conversation. And Ma did say something about wanting some different perfume (okay, she said that she wanted something new to last her until Christmas and her new bottle of Versace Woman, but the thought was still there)... so I ended up asking her to let me smell a couple of them.

Unfortunately the G one (which is Gwen, obviously, the little blonde dolly at the front) smells like coconut... which is fine, if you're, you know, a lamington... but other than that, not so much. So I ummed and ahhed and smelled a couple of the other ones (for the record, from left to right, they're Love, Lil Angel, Music and Baby) but couldn't make my mind up (BIG surprise there!)...

So I decided to call Ma... which is a whole drama all on it's own... my mobile was running out of battery, I knew that, but I'd called her earlier and that had worked out fine, but now we were playing phone tag... so I left her a vague message about the smell of coconut and decided to head down to Marion for no real specific reason, other than I was kind of already in the general sort of neighbourhood...

When I got to Marion, I tried calling her again... and my phone was doing that "Low Battery" warning beep thing when it connected... then while I was wandering around my phone must have rung twice and I didn't hear it, so Ma left a message... and I picked up that message... and then called her. And every time it connected, I got the same warning beeps. That is until I finally got hold of Ma... and we'd been on the phone for all of ten seconds and I heard "beep beep beep beep beep" in a particularly frantic tone, I said something like "oh shit" and my phone died. Totally and completely dead, no battery, no nothing.

So there I am, in Marion, with Ma none the wiser about why my phone has cut out, having heard me go "oh shit" and unbenounced to me is going slightly nuts and calling me seven times (I got all these little messages when I finally got home, plugged my phone into the charger and turned it on again)... and I possibly could have found a pay phone, but a) I had no change on me, b) I actually don't know how much a phone call costs any more (is it still 40c?) and c) I don't remember anybody's number any more since they're all in my phone. I kinda knew she would be having a mild panic, but I figured she'd realise that my phone was dead (she worked it out eventually, once she'd finished envisioning all sorts of gruesome possibilities) so I figured I could cope without my phone for an afternoon.

One of the first places I headed was Perfume Connection (obviously a different store), and got the nice girly to spray a couple of the other Harajukus on cards with the names on them (Baby didn't last long, too mild... but Music still smelled pretty good even after I'd been carrying it around in my back pocket for an hour or more).

Then I wandered here, there and everywhere, and that's really, really, really where all the crazy set in. There were SO many people down at Marion and they were all just getting in my, everybody elses and their own way... A-NOY-YING!

In the end with all my wandering I didn't buy anything other than lunch (mmm calamari)... that is, until I decided that I'd go back to Perfume Connection (for a third and hopefully final time, because once I've got hold of an idea, I don't like to let it go) and ask to smell one more of the fragrances, then make up my mind... Part of the problem was that it had to be a scent that was nice AND the little bottle dolly had to be cute... that counted out G (coconut), Lil Angel (smelled great, but the dolly wasn't right for Ma), Baby (too mild and bad dolly)... which left Music and Love, both of which smelled pretty good... so, like in all things, it came down to a decision of style. In the end I chose Love, because, you know, Ma and everything... plus it's probably the most "Japanese-ey" out of the dollies, which will go with all the other Japanese themed presents Ma's getting this year.

I like the text on the back of the box too... it has a picture of the dolly, then it gives a definition of love... the first few are about what you would expect... intense affection, passionate, beloved, blah blah... then you get to number 4... "A zero score in tennis"... which just cracked me up for some reason, especially since it goes back to all the "regular" love things.

But now, that's IT for Ma... really... well, I was thinking about getting her either some random chocolate from Haighs or they have this cute teddy bear... but then that's it, honest. Actually I think it would probably be a good idea for me to swear off any of the major suburban shopping malls until Christmas too, because they're all going to get more and more nuts the closer it gets... but Ma and I are so very organised and so very done, it's actually really scary... I don't know if we've ever been THIS ready this early.

Now all the have to do is battle through putting up the tree, work out when we're making all the Christmas goodies and before you know it, it will be Christmas... 26 days and counting people...

Current Mood:

photo friday: mo tiki

I shot this a couple of weeks back, on the same trip as last week's Photo Friday... obviously, this is the work of Benzo... but I thought this one was particularly appropriate just at present, it being the end of Movember and all...

Speaking of which, I'll probably expand on this more on Sunday... but damn I'm glad it's nearly the end of this whole mo growing experiment... it will just be good to be shaved again (and suddenly I realise how that sounds, but you know what I mean).

Work continues to be frustrating, chaotic, confusing and confronting... and I'm loving every single damn minute of it. As I got told today I have a habit of picking that one tiny thing about a project or (in this case) an email and there being the tiniest bit of validity to what I'm saying... hehehe... I'm both frustrating and right... I love that.

I also had a slightly inappropriate conversation with one of the guys from a different unit in the bathroom... well, if you're going to have an inappropriate conversation, that's probably the place to have it. Ever since I first met this guy I've felt like I've met him before or encountered him out in the world somewhere. I'd kind of assumed that he was one of The Gays... he's not stereotypical, but there's something about him that made me wonder. So I asked him... turns out, not so much (thankfully he wasn't offended that I asked, which is good). But at least I know now... hehe...

I headed over to the Central Market at lunchtime, and about halfway there I got a call from Stu, asking what I was doing for lunch... so of course I ended up having yum cha with him...

This weekend is going to be fairly out of the ordinary... I'm flying solo for Shopping Adventures, because Sunday I'm heading up to Ma's to partake in the Annual Swearing At The Christmas Tree. So that should be... eventful...

Other than that everything continues on pretty much as normal...

Current Mood:

i am really really not spam

It's been just over a week since I got the "Your blog has been identified as potential spam" email from Blogger...

I happened to notice earlier tonight that the word verification thing at the bottom of my posts had disappeared, and the message about deletion vanished from the Dashboard...

So, naturally, I figured I probably had an email saying "whoops, sorry, you're not spam, you're not going to be deleted, it's all good now"...

Obviously that was too much to ask, no emails, no messages, no nothing...

Way to go with the whole Customer Service thing Blogger, nice work.

I can only hope that this means that I'm all good now and my blog isn't going to spontaneously disappear in another couple of weeks. I actually found myself perusing WordPress at work this morning, you know, just in case everything looked like it was going to go pear shaped and I had to try and save the blog...

(And I can already hear you going on about the virtues of WordPress Tom, so shut up already)

But it looks like I'm back in the game... woohoo...

Current Mood:

random piercing hotness

Random Hotness this week comes from the "I don't know where these came from, but damn he's hot" file.

Actually that's not completely true, I'm pretty sure these are some of Jay Diers photos... but I haven't investigated any further than that... they just feel like his work.

But I do love a skinny, inappropriately pierced, alternatively sexy guy...

Current Mood:

feast: adventures of butt boy and tigger

Thus endeth my Feast Adventures... not with a whimper, but with a big ol' bang and the play with the title I just couldn't go past... Adventures of Butt Boy and Tigger...

Adventures of Butt Boy and Tigger is an outrageously raunchy rollercoaster ride through the world of online chatting, where lines between fantasy and reality become blurred and things get out of hand in more ways than one!

Two boys leap from one, over-the-top, underpants-bursting, pornographic adventure, to the next, until one asks the unthinkable... "Can we meet?"

And how can you refuse a play that was "winner of The Scotsman's 2008 'Filthiest Sex Scene Not Involving Nudity' Award"... (not exactly sure which scene that would have been either... there were so many choices!)

A bit like last weeks' Blowing Whistles, Butt Boy and Tigger (I just can't repeat that name enough!) starts off with big, big, big (huge, massive, enormous) laughs and then finds it's heart towards the end and the final scene very, very, very nearly made me cry... damn my easily swayed emotions! Unlike last week I scored myself a seat (as I said I would) in the very front row... not where I really wanted to sit because the whole right side of the front row had reserved signs on it, but the front row nonetheless (and I'm not even go into why it is that old people have felt the need to sit next to me at every single one of these Feast activities)...

Getting back to the play...

It's a short one, just over an hour (so no interval obviously) and it's broken up into these little vignettes... five or six in all I guess... and as you would expect in a play about online chatting and fantasy sex, there wasn't much in the way of set dressing. Two chairs, two stunted mutant ironing board type tables (I dunno, it was the first thought that occurred to me when I saw them), two computer keyboards with the cords sawn off... and that was it. Everything else was done with words and a little bit of sound and, very briefly, a smoke machine. And you know what... it totally and completely worked. You start imagining, or I guess fantasising along with Butt Boy and Tigger and it doesn't matter that there is nothing on stage but them (and the aforementioned chairs, etc) or that they never remove or change and article of clothing for the whole play.

I was kind of surprised to be honest that the two actors weren't dressed like they are in the poster... I know that seems a little odd (and probably very, very weird watching somebody do an imaginary fantasy sex scene on stage in a Tigger hood), but for some reason I think it could have worked. But no, they were just dressed like regular dudes (although given how HOT it gets under those lights and in that theatre particularly, and how sweaty they ended up, you would have thought that they wouldn't have been wearing long sleeves, and Butt Boy wouldn't have been wearing layers... but I notice these things because I'm weird)...

And now that we're on the subject of the actors... they were very, very good... Felix Allsop played Tigger (aka Matt) and Angus Brown played the amusingly nicknamed Butt Boy (aka Jamie). They were both exceptionally good... Angus has the whole "shy, nerdy, naive" thing down, where as Felix was just monumentally naughty... I can't think of a better word for it (and his character does get called that at one point)... naughty, funny and incredibly sexy... which is always a good combination.

Plus there were accents... I didn't know there were going to be accents... from Angus's slightly odd lisping World War I soldier to Felix's very realistic and sexy sounding peasant stableboy... strange, but pretty flawless overall.

On a brief tangent for a moment... neither of the actors were exceptionally tall, but Felix is this pint-sized little dynamo... kind of like a pocket-sized Hugh Jackman... (seriously, I know Hugh isn't that tall anyway, but Felix has a SERIOUS Jackman thing going on... but all compacted and very solid looking... I think it's partially the beard he has happening now, because he's not so Jackmaneske in either the poster, Tigger hood notwithstanding, or the program).

Can you tell which of the two actors I was having something of a crush on... yep, Felix. And he looked right at me at one point, actually I think he was delivering a line (I have no idea what it was now though) at that particular chair and I just happened to be in it... but there's something about having somebody on stage look right at you...

Like I said though, Angus was really good as well...

The only downside of the night was that unlike last week I couldn't find a park anywhere nearby, so I ended up throwing in the towel and just parking in a permit zone... of course that meant I came back to a $33 ticket on my car (which I pretty much expected, so it wasn't that bad).

Current Mood:

naughty meme

I lifted this one from Eddy (and I think somebody else did it, but my memory fails me right now)... I think I've done some variation of it before, but there are a few new questions in there... oh and I did a little reordering job, the questions were in kind of a strange order originally, so this makes more sense (to me anyway)...

• Is there anyone on your blogroll you would have sex with?
  If by blogroll you mean "Google Reader", then hell yes, a number of anyones.


• Do you love someone on your blogroll?
  Not in a "Be My Valentine" kind of way, no... but I have "the fondness" for a few of the folks on my list...


• Love or Money?
  Money, you might not be able to buy love, but with enough money you can certainly rent it for a short while.


• Credit cards or cash?
  Cash. Credit cards are nice, especially for buying things online, but nothing beats cold, hard, cash.


• Have you ever been to a strip club?
  Club, no... but I did go to a Manpower show with a bunch of girlies from work once upon a time.


• Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
  People usually pay me money to keep my clothes on... ha, I kid, I kid... thank you, I'll be here all week, try the veal...


• Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
  Aggressive. Which doesn't mean a top, but somebody who makes an effort and doesn't just lie there like a starfish. I suppose it's enthusiastic rather than aggressive.
  


• Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
  As of quite recently, it would possibly have to be in a carport with a door that wasn't completely solid and at least one person walked by...


• Had sex in a movie theater?
  Kinda... he wouldn't let me go as far as I wanted to, but you could count it as sex.


• Had sex in a bathroom?
  Sure.


• Had sex at work?
  Not at this point... I also haven't had sex with anybody at their work either, which is probably more appealing (because the last thing you want to do during the act is think about all the work on your desk that you have to do the following day).


• Had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
  If you call everybody "stud" or "sexy" that's never a problem, and so long as there is only one other person in the bed, "you" gets you out of a lot of scrapes. And seriously, does anyone ever call out the name of the person they're having sex with while they're doing it?


• Shower or bath while having sex?
  Actually I don't think I've ever done it in a bathtub... shower, yes... spa, hell yes.


• Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
  Night, then afternoon, mornings I'm not so fussed on, if only because I don't have anybody to wake up with, roll over and ravage.


• Ever been to an adult store?
  Of course, as recently as the weekend too.


• Bought something from an adult store?
  Sure. Not recently though.


• Have you been caught having sex?
  I don't think I would say "caught"... but I have been interupted by phone calls a couple of times (nothing like being able to multitask).


• Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
  Provided they haven't deleted them, then yes.


• Have you ever wanted a best friend?
  This is a weird question (it almost seems like it should be "have you ever wanted to have sex with your best friend")... but yes. Specifically a single, gay best friend (who I wouldn't want to have sex with).


• Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
  Not sure about the head part...


• Camping or a 5 star hotel?
  Five Star all the way baby!


• Ever been to a bar?
  Yes, yes I have.


• Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
  Nope.


• Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
  I don't know if they carried me, but I have been so very, very drunk (although it did come with a side order of concussion, so maybe it was more about that) that I don't actually remember going from Location A to Location B.


• Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
  Not since I was about 12 (and obviously I wasn't driving at the time)... coming home from the hospital after having to have the cast on my arm reapplied, I shouldn't have had that pie...

Current Mood:

unconscious mutterings 304

I forgot my belt this morning... I got on the bus and did that unconscious checking thing I do from time to time just to make sure I've zipped up my fly... no belt.

It kinda threw me off a little for part of the morning, more when I was standing up and walking around than when I was sitting though.

Speaking of other things that are unconscious... Unconscious Mutterings...

1. Spit it out :: Nasty
2. Shadow :: Moon
3. Database :: Fat Controller
4. Expression :: Face
5. Boss :: Man
6. Baby :: Cakes
7. Mystic :: Pizza
8. Kate :: Hepburn
9. Boobies :: Doodle
10. Raid :: Insect Spray

Current Mood:

what type is that blog?

I stole this quiz link thingy (aka Typealyzer) from Bodhi...

ESTP - The Doers

The active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.

I wouldn't have thought of myself as a "doer"... but there's a bunch of stuff in here that does read quite a bit like me (well, maybe except for the "physical out-door activities" bit).

The full attention and impulsive bits sound like me though...

And supposedly, the image at the bottom shows "what parts of the brain were dominant during writing"... which is kind of interesting, I guess I do talk about details and there's a lot of habit and order to my blogging...

Funnily enough, I would have thought I would have scored higher in the imagination and symbols area...


Current Mood:

not to be left unsupervised

You know something... I shouldn't ever be let out where there are retail opportunities without a chaperone... I swear, once Christmas is over with, I'm going to put myself on a semi-strict "One Impulse Buy Treat Per Month" regime (of course I might have to "accidentally" forget about that during the January Sales)...

I headed out to Orifficeworks this morning to get Ma's calendar all bound up, and ended up being a whole world of impulse control issues while I was there. When I arrived, they hadn't actually opened the store, so there was a little bit of standing around like an idiot, but that was okay, because there were perving opportunities a-plenty. First up there was much oggling of the cute boy wearing a singlet and driving a ute who was standing outside with me... yummy... then once I got inside there was brief perving on the cute redheaded boy behind the counter (and some more perving on Ute Boy).

But then I went over to the Printworks counter, and had to hang around like an idiot until a staff member appeared out of the back... but it was well worth it. Have you ever wanted to bite somebody's face clean off because they smelled SO fucking good? No? So maybe that's just me, but the guy who served me smelled SOOOOOOOOOO good... like really distractingly good, and every time I caught a whiff of it I half lost my train of thought. In the end I asked him what he was wearing... turns out it was the cologne version of the Lynx Dark Chocolate Temptation body spray I use. He would have to have either used a large amount of it, or else he'd only just put it on in the staff room before they opened the store, because I could smell it clear across the counter. Anyway, we bantered about how good he smelled, then got back to the business of binding the calendar (there was that moment when you realise that you're having a completely unrelated and possibly slightly inappropriate conversation with somebody in a shop and you just go "Anyway..." and get back to what you're supposed to be talking about). I asked him if I could get the calendar back today (thinking that I could come back in the afternoon to pick it up maybe)... he told me I could have it back in five minutes (it could have been because I told him he smelled good, although probably not).

I wandered around for a while, like you do when you're me in a stationery supply store ("oooh pencils... oooh USB drives... oooh things I have no need for but are really cute"), and happened to wander past the webcams. Can you tell where this story is going yet? Especially given that photo up at the top of the post... Honest, apart from the obvious and slightly filthy purpose you're all thinking about, I have no real use for a webcam... but there they were, looking at me (figuratively speaking) on the shelf... so now I'm the (theoretically) proud owner of a Logitech QuickCam E3500.

When I went back to get the calendar I caught another whiff of Printworks Boy (I was so distracted by how monumentally good he smelled that I forgot to look at his tag to work out what his name was), and had to reiterate out loud that he did, indeed, smell good (he took it all with quite good humour, either he's been hit on at work before, or else he was clueless enough not to realise what was going on) before paying for my purchases and going on my merry way.

I then HAD to head down to the place where Ma and I do our weekly Supermarket Safari to see if I could lay my hands on a bottle of this amazing smelling stuff (and if it turns out NOT to smell that like when it's on me then I'm going to be very, very grouchy)... I looked in all three major supermarket chains... I looked in a variety of small chemists... I even looked in Red Circle... Nothing, nada, zip, ziltch.

I mean there was a space for it on the shelf in Woolworths, but it space was empty. Thankfully Ma came to the rescue... she happened to be out shopping too and tracked down a bottle of it in her neck of the woods.

Then I came into town for a little bit to see if I could track down something that I really don't need and am not even sure that I want (hence why I'm not actually mentioning what it is), but if I can find it here rather than having to order it over the internet, it will save me a bunch of money that I probably shouldn't be spending anyway. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint) I couldn't see it anywhere I went, but I did manage to NOT buy anything else while I was looking... okay, I spent like $2, but that hardly counts.

I did however buy a lurid fluro yellow and pink Feast stubby holder (since this is my Weekend of Beer) on my way back to the car. That was an adventure in itself. The place had them on display pretty much in the doorway... stubbie holders and sweatbands and pink wings (which were tempting, but what the hell would I do with them... oooh, wait, Miss O for Christmas maybe... nah, maybe not, plus I would want to keep them myself)... so I went in and asked one of the girlies... who didn't know, so she asked the girly next to her, who didn't know, so she asked the seemingly more senior, and far funkier girly who was just coming across the room. Senior Funky Girly had a moment of "oh, umm, what should I do" before she got a hold of herself and told me to follow her. We went through one door, and then a second door, and there may well have been a third door (that might have been the one where I tripped up the step), I don't remember, it just seemed like a lot of doors, but suddenly we were in a little room with lots of Feast posters and boxes of merchandise. And I got my stubbie holder! *rolls eyes*

Then I came back here, had some lunch, set up the webcam, had a chat with Bear *la la la, pretends to be all innocent and ignore those knowing looks that you're all giving me, la la la*, and that's about where we are now...

Current Mood:

movember: week three

And so, we enter the home stretch of Movember...

I'm having mixed feelings about the imminent loss of, as Ma called it last weekend, the "rat under my nose" (thanks Ma, way to be supportive!)... on the one hand I'll be glad to get rid of the thing... it prickles unexpectedly, I've found people staring at it instead of making eye contact with me and it still looks semi-scruffy... but at the same time I think I'm going to miss it when it's gone... it gives me something to fiddle with, it cuts down on shaving time in the morning and it's only just now starting to look like a "proper" moustache. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to shave it all off once December 1 rolls around (since I'd look worse with this much mo and a straggly little goatee), but I think that facial hair might have to have a reprise early next year... we'll see.

It's also interesting that I've both noticed a lot of guys with mos around the place, but at the same time there don't seem to be that many of us. It's kind of like when you know somebody that's pregnant, suddenly you notice everybody who's pregnant, or you buy a particular brand of car and then every other car you pass on the road seems to be the same kind. The weird thing is that you don't technically know that they're also Mo Bros... okay, anybody running around in the big ol pornstar mo is pretty much a dead certainty, but everybody else is up for debate.

So, this being the start of the last week, this is pretty much your last chance to DONATE...

Current Mood:

movies: quantum of solace

So it's no surprise (given that I've already mentioned it) that we went to see Quantum of Solace this morning...

Two things right off the bat... firstly, this is probably going to have slightly more spoilery bits in it than my usual movie review... and secondly I have to rant about the movie title.

WORST! MOVIE! TITLE! EVER!

In the grand history of Bond movie titles that don't really make a damn bit of sense (Live and Let Die, For Your Eyes Only, You Only Live Twice, Tomorrow Never Dies) we have a clear winner in the "What The Hell Were They Thinking?" stakes. Ever since I first heard about it, it's sounded monumentally stupid to me... nobody can really remember it (okay, maybe they do, but only because it's so dumb), nobody knows what the hell it means (yes, I realise that when you break it down to what the words mean it becomes clear, but I don't want to have to invest that much time in thinking about a movie title). In short, I started out hating it and have always hated it. I still hate it very much.

And here's where a bit of the spoilerness comes in... when you turn half of the movie title (the Quantum part) into one of the many and varied MacGuffins of the movie in the form of a plan or an organisation or whatever the hell it was supposed to be (I worked out later what it was but at the time it wasn't completely obvious) and you give the bad guys cute little Q badges in the same font as the movie title (Sidebar: I wonder if you can buy those... they were very stylish) then you reach the end of the movie and you don't resolve what it is or have a confrontation with it, you JUST LEAVE IT HANGING IN THE AIR... well, it's really fucking frustrating.

Some of the plot points were a little confusing too... nothing that really ruined the experience, but definitely something that means I'm going to have to see the movie again to work out who it was that he was working for and if he was connected to those guys or what...

But I may be getting off on the wrong foot... it's not that I didn't enjoy the movie, in a lot of ways I enjoyed it more than Casino Royale. It actually feels more like a Bond Movie than it's predecessor... this one is a sequel to the aforementioned Casino, but where that felt a lot more compartmentalised and "bitty", Quantum definitely holds together as one story.

I understand why people have been saying that this is "more Bourne than Bond"... particularly the pre-title sequence, it's all close-up and quick cuts and feels like something out of Bourne, as is his first big confrontation after the titles... but it slowly starts to feel more Bond-like (I did find myself thinking at one point "well, if Jason Bourne had done that he would have landed much better than that, and gone right through the window instead of stumbling like that").

If I'm being honest, the pre-title sequence was pointless... which I wouldn't have a problem with, so many of them are, but they weren't trying to be an essential part of the story... this one was pointless AND tried to prove that it wasn't right at the end of the sequence... sorry, close but no cigar...

Oh, and I know I've said it before... but Directors and Editors, please take note... putting cuts every second and lots of close-up, handheld, shakey camera work does not equal "exciting"... it equals "annoying and overdone" and it's getting to that point where it's becoming passe, so please cut it out now. Thank you.

And just when I thought I couldn't hate a title sequence and theme song MORE than I hated the ones in Casino Royale, along comes this massive steaming pile of crap with visuals by MK12 and the song by Jack White and Alicia Keys... *insert me blowing a big fat raspberry here*... whoever comes up with the titles for the next movie needs to be strapped down in a chair ala A Clockwork Orange and shown a reel of every single Bond title sequence on a loop (up to Casino Royale) until their eyes start to bleed. How hard can it be to come up with a decent title sequence people? Sheesh...

At least this movie has a villain with some balls... Dominic Greene (the very French, if slightly bug-eyed, Mathieu Amalric) is actually menacing and evil and you can imagine him going to town on you with, say, an axe... as opposed to Le Chiffre (or, as I like to call him, Le Shitsme) from the last movie who would just wheeze on you asthmatically before crying blood at you... so big check in the Evil Bond Villain column...

You can also check the Bond Girl With Silly Name column while you're there... sadly they don't mention her whole name in the movie, but when you see the credits roll you realise that Miss Fields' first name is Strawberry... that's right... she's a redhead called Strawberry Fields (played with much scenery chewing goodness by Gemma Atherton, who I last enjoyed in St Trinians)... so big check there too...

And the final scene with her very strongly brings to mind Goldfinger... and the image may end up being even more iconic (or that could just be me and the whole monochromatic thing)...

Sadly Mr Greene doesn't have a bigger than life henchman doing all his dirtywork... what he does have is a seemingly stereotypically gay sidekick with a toupe (I thought initially it was just bad hair, but no, it turns out to be a wig)... which was a little annoying I have to say... I mean I can forgive it in 1971's Diamonds Are Forever, but this is 2008 for crying out loud.

But I can hear you all thinking "What about Daniel Craig... is he still, as you started your Casino Royale review with, the SEX?"... well, yes... and then again, no. I mean he's dressed far much more in this movie than in the first one (shame really), and he spends more of this one being all beaten up and battered and dusty and whatnot (so if that's your thing, knock yourself out)... but I only noticed his preternaturally blue eyes a couple of times. Tom Ford does put him in a pair of somewhat eye-catching tan pants for a chunk of the movie though, so that's a plus.

It was nice to see that Bond get a character arc (which is not always something you expect from a Bond movie)... it's kind of subtle, but if you look at the way he interacts with the first bad guy (after the title sequence) and the very last bad guy we see, then he definitely makes his way from brash roughness to the trademark Bond suaveness and detachment.

I'm not sure if the "hotel" featured at the end of the movie is a real place... I'm guessing not, given the amount of punishment it obviously takes, but somebody needs to get hold of the plans and build it exactly like it appears in the movie... without the possibility for explosions and somewhere more accessible, obviously... but it's one cool looking hotel. Actually the monochromatic hotel room earlier in the movie is pretty damn swish too.

It will be interesting to see if they turn this into a trilogy (the door is very much open for them to do so... bad guys still haven't been caught, secret organisations haven't been uncovered, that kind of thing)... but I think they need to bring in Moneypenny and Q next time around.

yani's rating: 3 monochromatic hotel rooms out of 5

shopping lite

Today was something of a half-assed shopping day...

Supermarket Safari went off as normal, nothing of grand interest to report on that front... then we came back and I unpacked then we took ourselves down to Arndale to catch the first session of Quantum of Solace...

More on the actual movie will follow in a bit... but I have to have a bit of a rant first. Now, there were maybe a dozen people in the movie theatre, and I'd done what I have a tendency to do when we're sitting in that front row before the big drop off (you know the one... the front of the middle) and I'd taken my (white) sneakers off and put my feet up on the balcony thing in front of us. I've been doing this FOREVER, okay, sometimes if a staff member comes in I'll duck my feet down a bit, but I've never had an issue with it.

But just before the movie started this wanker who was sitting in the row behind us (and not even directly behind us, because that I could understand, but like half a dozen seats to our left) came over to me and told me that my white socks were "distracting". I looked at him like he was a crazy person and told him that he should be watching the screen and not my socks (what I really wanted to tell him was to go fuck himself, and I probably should have). Anyway, he wandered away and while I put my feet down flat so they shouldn't have been catching any light I was internally seething about this fucker.

Well, the next thing I know one of the staff girlies comes in and asked me to put my feet down because they'd had "a few complaints"... yeah, a few as in ONE. What a fucking wanker. So I put my feet down and looked over at him, giving him the evil death stare (and missing an important action beat in the process)... and what did the wanker do... he WAVED at me. Fucking smug git. So I gave him the finger.

And it's lucky he didn't look at me or say anything on his way out (I gave him death stares the whole time anyway) otherwise he would have gotten a mouthful of abuse. I mean, really... come the fuck on... he needed to mind his own business. Stupid fucker.

Okay, where did I put my swear jar?

*drops vast amounts of cash into the swear jar*

After the movie was over we wandered around Arndale for a bit... I discovered that they've reprinted some of the classic Little Golden Books (it's their 65th anniversary, dontchaknow)... specifically Scuffy the Tugboat, Tootles, The Tawny Scrawny Lion (that lion was SO gay), all of which I remember from my childhood (the only one I couldn't find was The Saggy Baggy Elephant)... and I just had to pick them up for My Other Cousin's son. I mean they're probably hideously dated, but it's a nostalgia thing...

Once we'd done the full wander we hopping in the car and went down to West Lakes (for no particular reason other than we didn't quite know what else to do next)... the sad thing was that the malls are both owned by the same company, so essentially with a couple of variations it was like we were in exactly the same place again...

So obviously that didn't last long... we had a little lunch, had a little wander, I perved on the more attractive beach-adjacent hotties that frequent West Lakes (thank god for tall boys with short teeshirts) and then we came back here to watch Heroes (Ma's VCR didn't tape it all for some reason)...

Thus endeth the constructive part of the day...

Current Mood:

photo friday: urban zoo

I saw this last Friday on the side of the pub we went to lunch at, then snapped the photo last Sunday after my shopping adventures...

Not to put to fine a point on it, but today has been a Rat Bastard of a day. And just to prove how MUCH of a RB day it's been, it should be enough to say that I went and bought a six pack of Coopers Pale Ale after work today... I can't remember the last time I bought beer (you know, outside of a pub anyway). I'm already two bottles down too... *hic*

Actually I'm not even a little bit drunk... or even tipsy or anything, relaxed maybe, but that's about it... but it was nice to have beer...

From the moment I walked into the office this morning we had one thing after another after another after another screw up... it started with 781 undelivered emails and kinda went downhill from there. People were away, things that were working five minutes ago were suddenly broken and I had to make up two emails to go out to large numbers of people.

And you know what... I loved every damn minute of it. Yes it was frustrating, confusing, confronting and crazed for large amounts of the day, but I wouldn't swap even this really annoying day for a week worth of less stressful days anywhere else.

Looking at that though, I think I've said the same thing in about ten different ways over the past two weeks... "we get it already, you're happy to be back in The Nut House"...

Well, I am...

I also discovered by the DVDs I ordered last Sunday haven't arrived yet too... there was a message attached to my order which I never got... I don't know if it was supposed to be an email and never got through, or what the hell is going on... but it looks like I won't be getting them until after December 9, since Another Gay Movie doesn't come out until then... bummer...

And I still haven't heard back about my blog review, which is making me kinda nervous... I don't want to wake up one morning or come back from work to find my whole blog has been deleted... that would be very, very bad... seriously, why me?

Oh, I also touched up my review of Blowing Whistles from last night... not much, just a couple of additional thoughts that occurred to me during the day.

Also I really need to tidy up in the kitchen and living room, but do you think I can be bothered right now...

Current Mood:

feast: blowing whistles

Wow...

To quote Homer Simpson, "I love legitimate thee-ate-er"... and even more than that I love "legitimate thee-ate-er" with full frontal male nudity (hello, how shallow am I?).

Tonight was the second in my Feast trilogy... Blowing Whistles.

I'm suddenly wondering if I should have left this review until tomorrow... I'm not sure I've completely digested (and isn't that a lovely turn of phrase) the play yet... it still feels very much all up in my head.

That's the difference for me between movies and theatre... don't get me wrong, I love movies (obviously)... but with theatre, especially in a very small and intimate place like The Bakehouse Theatre, and doubly so when you're sitting in the second row (I need to sit in the first row next week, no matter what)... the whole experience just feels incredibly personal. You're living and breathing and (at one point, thanks to a can of deoderant) smelling the experience. And when it's a story that turns out to be quite effecting... well, let's just say that I'm finding it a little hard to shake.

The crowd for this was completely different to the one at Another Gay Movie, younger, more mixed... and less brash than Friday... whether it was just the different between a movie and a play or a Friday and a Thursday, I don't know... plus I ran into J's friend, J2 who was there with some people. And I think I saw Michael Harry who writes for the Advertiser... if it was him, he's pretty cute!

But getting back to the play... where to start, where to start...

Okay, stealing from the play's promotional materials, Blowing Whistles is a story about "being gay, being in love, little white lies and internet dating. Nigel and Jamie are a long-term couple in an open relationship. On the eve of their tenth anniversary (and the Mardi Gras party) they go cruising online and meet 'Cumboy_17'. The next 24 hours changes three lives forever."

Originally it was set in London, which shows in a couple of spots... very minor ones I have to say (mostly tiny bits of language more than anything else), although one of the final lines of the play lost a tiny bit of punch to me because it's set around Mardi Gras instead of English Pride (saying "I told you I'd show you gay pride" isn't quite as effective when you haven't been talking about Captial P Pride for most of the play).

Anyway...

It's a gay play (obviously)... but whether the three actors involved are gay or not, I have no idea... if I had to guess I would say that Cumboy_17/Mark (local boy, Lachlan Mantell) is, Jamie (Neil Phipps... that's him in the image at the top) could have been and Nigel (Lindsay Moss) wasn't... but what do I know.

Like I said, the play features full frontal male nudity (woohoo)... most of which is Mark (interestingly, there seemed to be more of a gasp when he came out in the second half shirtless and slightly damp than when he came out buck naked and seemingly semi-hard in the first half... not sure what that was about... maybe I had a moment of total sensory overload when he appeared naked and I didn't hear anything), although the other two do get their gear off briefly right before the off-stage sex scene.

And Lachlan Mantell is SPECTACULAR when naked... all moulded torso and, while not donkey-cocked, it was very beautiful... and did I mention kinda semi-hard. Unlike Brenton, I didn't have a problem with him playing "bi curious white trash" with shaved pubes, blonde highlights and a spray tan (because you just know that blonde, tanned trailer trash like partyboy Corey Whathisface would TOTALLY shave his pubes whether he was into boys or not)... although maybe the tan had faded a little and he looked like he had could have had some pubes... either way, it didn't bother me... especially since I took the "bi curious" statement he makes as him lying to both Jamie and Nigel as well as himself. And even when he was dressed (or half dressed) he was the hotness... the character is all low slung jeans and visible underwear (which I like)... but you could have put Lachlan in a hessian sack and he still would have been sexy.

Although his character was kind of annoying (partially because I've seen or read profiles or come into contact, in my younger days, with boys like Mark... and I know the type) so my brain did that thing where somebody becomes slightly less attractive to me when I don't like their personality (not that I would have kicked Mark/Lachlan's shoes out from under my bed, but you know what I'm getting at).

But if I'm being honest it was the character of Jamie that I really fell in love with. He's a little dorky, a little queeny, has this cute little belly thing going on and was just sweet. He turned into the kind of character who I just wanted to hug and make it all better.

And he needed to have it all made better... the first half of the play is HILARIOUSLY funny (mostly from Jamie's one-liners and the whole sexcapades thing... plus, hello, penis), but after the intermission it took a much more dark and serious turn. Sure there were some funny bits here and there, but there was much more yelling and angst going on. And that's probably why it's crawled into my head so much... not that I've ever gone through that, but because it activated the White Knight in me, and I wanted to rescue Jamie. Tragic I know.

When it was all over we gave them about three curtain calls, and that was that...

All in all though... I laughed, I very nearly cried, I saw doodle... it was a quality night out!

Current Mood:

random track hotness

Today's Random Hotness comes from the school of "no idea goes uncopied"...

Two different guys, two different locations, but almost the same outcome... I think I prefer blondie, even though you can't see his face...

Current Mood:

i am not spam

I got home tonight, checked my Gmail and found this little gem (this is a cut down version, but the gist is the same)...

Your blog at has been identified as a potential spam blog.

Your blog will be deleted in 20 days if it isn't reviewed, and your readers will see a warning page during this time. After we receive your request, we'll review your blog and unlock it within two business days.

We find spam by using an automated classifier. Automatic spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and occasionally a blog like yours is flagged incorrectly. We sincerely apologize for this error.

Thank you for your understanding and for your help with our spam-fighting efforts.

Well how's that for a fine howdy-do...

Whether that was because in the previous post I "linked back to the same location" a lot... but that same location was the blog, so I'm not sure how that works...

I'm not even sure if I'll be able to publish this message... but if I can't it can just sit in draft format until I can.

But if it does publish... Mr, Mrs or Ms Review Person... I am not spam, Sam-I-Am (sorry, I've been trying to work in a Green Eggs and Ham reference through the whole post)...

Current Mood:

one hundred movies

Tonight was Movie Night... but there really wasn't really anything out that we wanted to see... we could have gone to see something that could have been fairly average, or we could have stayed at my place and rented a DVD, but in the end we settled on going down to Marion and seeing Wall-E for the second time (and it holds up to a second viewing).

So instead, seeing as I "celebrated" 100 movies on Friday, I thought I might indulge in one of those slightly pointless, but hopefully vaguely interesting posts that kind of sums up the last 100 movies...

First up, my scores out of ten... we've had fire demons, wingfeathers, Monican spies, Baby Bonds, Puddleducks, loaded dice, repeating storylines, secret ingredients, Monkey Kings and Japsers out of ten... and this is how they stack up...

• 10 out of 10: 2
• 9 out of 10: 22
• 8 out of 10: 23
• 7 out of 10: 35
• 6 out of 10: 13
• 5 out of 10: 4
• 4 out of 10: 1 (Marie Antoinette, in case you were wondering)
  

And if I had to pick my Top Ten out of the last 100 movies, I think it would go a little something like this (of course as soon as I post this I'll change my mind over roughly half of them, if not the movies themselves then the ordering)...

My Top Ten

1. Stranger Than Fiction (10 narrators out of 10)
2. Wall-E (10 Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-class robots out of 10)
   
3. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (9 hidden derringers out of 10)
   
4. The Producers (9 goose-stepping chorus boys out of 10)
   
5. The Wrong Man (9 "bad dogs" out of 10)
   
6. Mrs Henderson Presents (9 tableaus out of 10)
   
7. V for Vendetta (9 masked assassins out of 10)
   
8. Brokeback Mountain (9 fishing trips out of 10)
   
9. Transformers (9 mysterious cubes out of 10)
   
10. The Prestige (9 Transported Men out of 10)
    

And to finish up, the Award goes to...

• Unexpectedly Good Movie: There have been a few of these... but if I had to chose something that I really didn't expect to be any good as all and it really surprised me, then this award goes to Eagle Eye.
  


• Unexpectedly Bad Movie: King Kong, no contest... there were worse movies, but I kinda knew they were going to suck going in... this one I'd been looking forward to and it just didn't live up to the hype.


• Funniest Movie: Probably The Producers... even though I know over half of it by heart now it still cracks me up.


• Saddest Movie: I've shed a few tears at the movies in my time, but if we're only counting the last 100 films then this has to be Bridge to Terabithia!


• Best Adaptation: If I'm only counting books that I read before I saw the movies for this one... then Memoirs of a Geisha takes this award out.


• Worst Adaptation: This is a toss up between Eragon and Howl's Moving Castle... both good books that they turned into lackluster movies.


• Hottest Actor: This is a difficult choice... there have been so many... Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Ben Foster, Josh Hartnett, Ben Whishlaw, most of the cast of 300, Charlie Cox, Andy Whitfield, Jamie Campbell Bower, Shia LeBeouf, Ben Barnes and James McAvoy to name just a few... but if I'm going to go with pure enthusiasm in my review, it would have to Daniel Craig...
  

Current Mood:

unconscious mutterings 303

It's always good when you remember that you don't need to spend $65 printing something when you have perfectly functional printers at work... so $3 worth of paper and a couple of false starts later, Ma's calendar is ready to be bound...

Other than that my day was fairly shitty, owing to having to futz around with things for the last group I worked for. Couldn't find their asses with both hands, a map, a GPS, a native tracker and somebody to actually take their hands and put them on their asses. Okay, that's not completely true... but it did feel very true at certain points today...

And now, Unconscious Mutterings...

1. Please stop :: Thinkin' about tomorrow (oh wait, that was "don't stop")
2. Move over :: Beethoven (or was that "roll over")
3. Sweet as :: Pie
4. Bet :: Your Life
5. Mad about :: You
6. It's over :: Red Rover
7. Intend to :: Make more sense
8. Blame :: Me
9. Jefferson :: Airplane
10. Heartless :: Wench

Current Mood:

fork me

Seriously, somebody stick a fork in me... I am SOOOOOO done with Christmas shopping...

Okay, that's not completely true, I still have to arrange something for my cousin's girls (some sort of handcrafted, printed vouchery thing entitling them to one all expenses paid trip to the movies with First Cousin Once Removed Yani) and finish up the Sydney inspired calendar for Ma... plus buy her the traditional (okay, so I'm trying to turn it into a tradition, sue me) block of nougat and then I'm DONE... Captial D, Capital O, Capital N, etc...

This whole "gainful employment" thing is a bad influence... a really, really, really bad influence... because I just go all "crazed mental patient" with my present buying. Yes, Ma deserves to be spoiled beyond all sense and reason, and I so totally have that covered this year... but Sweet Georgia Brown Batman, it's quite possibly gotten a little out of hand (although as I said to her at one point yesterday "who the fuck else do I really have to buy things for").

And of course because I have appropriate amounts of cash coming in I go a little nuts buying things for myself too... I just "bought myself a little DVD Happy" (to paraphrase Will & Grace's Karen) on The Bookshop's website. Well, is it my fault they had Another Gay Sequel already, plus both Torch Song Trilogy (which I've been after FOR-EV-ER) and Shortbus on special.

But getting back to Ma... not only have I gone nuts with the "little bitty presents" (as evidenced by me picking up a set of Wall-E and EVE pens in Cheap as Chips this afternoon... but she's going to have to share those since there are two of each), but I've also gone pretty hardcore with the "bigger ticket items"... specifically The Mikado tickets, and today I went out and bought her the external hard drive she mentioned wanting (and had one of those style vs substance moments... do I buy the 160GB black one, or pay twice as much for the 320GB white once because, it's, you know, all white and more interesting than the black one... in the end I just went with black).

It's kind of like the Christmas about four years ago, just before I stopped working for The Nut House the first time... I spoiled her absolutely rotten... every time she even mentioned anything in passing I went out and bought it. But most of that was smaller stuff... this is going to be a Big Fat Christmas, I can just tell.

I also put an end to the box dilemma once and for all... I bought a black cardboard giftbox... I'll wrap that in the Japanese fabric, it will have the same kind of effect without the excessiveness of having to buy an expensive Bento box she may never use again (I have no idea what I'm going to do with the box I bought last week, which actually is still a little oily, but I'll work something out).

Ma and I also had a scary symmetry moment... she called me while I was in Cheap as Chips, and she was also calling from Cheap as Chips... different store, but you know, spooky and stuff. Then when I got home I called her again to talk to her about something and she was quite literally reaching into her bag to get her phone to call me. Weirdness...

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