movies: marie antoinette

The phrase "long boring story with no point" now has a new meaning...

That meaning is Marie Antoinette...

It's not that it was a BAD movie per say... it was just about 30 minutes too long... and NOTHING HAPPENS... it's a dull movie... not bad, just dull...

You don't even have the pleasure of seeing them behead her at the end after suffering through it all...

And don't even get me started on the vast sequences that look like an 18th Century take on a Ralph Loren perfume commercial... "The fragrance for the spoiled empty headed queen in all of us... 'Marie'..."

That's not to say that it's not a beautiful and lush and sensual movie... I mean, c'mon... just about anything from the 18th Century, especially France, and I'm all over it... the shoes, the outfits, the palaces... it's all visually gorgeous! And because it was about the Queen of France, everything was bigger and better and more extravagant. I hate to think of the total number of costume changes for not only Kirsten Dunst, but the whole cast really... I don't think anyone wears the same outfit twice... well... certainly none of the women...

Overall the acting wasn't too bad, Kirsten did manage to carry the movie quite well... but there were the odd one or two choices that made me arch an eyebrow... Rose Byrne, although excellent, seems to have this very particular voice that no matter what else is going on you can't not hear... and the choice of Asia Argento as the old King's mistress was probably a good choice given the character, but I just couldn't get past the fact that she'd been in XXX...

I have to say though, for reasons I can't quite explain I had the biggest thing for Jason Schwartzman as King Louis... whether it was because he was so vulnerable and sweet and just that little bit dopey... but every time he was on screen I felt like going "Awwwww bless"...

But alas, the entire lack of any real driving story, and even at times the apparent total lack of a script at all didn't help the movie... not only did it not feel like the movie was going anywhere, it wasn't even interesting enough in one continuous block... there would be a moment of interest, high drama, excitement... then these long, languid, and quite frankly, boring, scenes.

I also didn't really have a problem with combining present day songs with a 18th Century world... if done well, it can be very effective... however, in a few cases they just seemed to be the wrong songs for this movie, period...

And I know I was bored senseless because there was a party of about 15 or so teenage girls sitting in the two rows in front of us, and not only were they laughing at the STRANGEST things, but they kept having little side conversations here and there, and I didn't even care... THAT'S how bored I was... people were talking during the movie, and I didn't care...

But Sofia Coppola is definitely going on that list of writers/directors who's work I just DON'T want to see... while it's not the worst movie I've ever seen (Phantom of the Opera still holds that title, and it will take a lot to knock it off it's perch), Marie Antoinette is definitely on the list...

yani's rating: -1 Daupine out of 5