people is crazy

idiocyI tell ya what... people is crazy...

Obviously it's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas, and that smell is plain old crazy with the slightest touches of panic and desperation...

Everybody just seemed to be nuts today... and of course it didn't help because a) I'm nuts too, b) I was shopping on my own and c) people are inconsiderate and stupid.

You know how I said last Sunday that I shouldn't be allowed out of the house by myself again until Christmas... well that plan didn't work out so great, and neither did the "fork me, I'm done" plan...

But I'm getting(ie Ma ahead of myself...

With the other half of the regular Saturday Shopping Comedy Team (ie Ma) off doing her own thing this morning, I was left to wander somewhat less aimlessly about the shops on my own... which started off pretty okay, I got to the supermarket just after they'd opened (I would have been there before they opened, but I forgot my empty honey container and had to go back for it), trundled around, probably bought way too much stuff I didn't really need (although a bunch of stuff I use to make Rocky Road was on special, so I stocked up for the Christmas batch), then wandered across the street and looked at more stuff, then came back and dicked around in Red Circle for far too long.

And it was one of those days where I just kept seeing things I would have pointed out to Ma had she been with me. Nothing earth shattering (a new fragrance in this, a new design on that, a possible addition to the Christmas stocking for whatsherface), but just stuff I would have said "oooh, look at that" about...

I also noticed Ma's absence, not so much with the shopping (although again, I probably got through it quicker on my own) but when I got to the checkout and was trying to juggle the recycled bags I'd brought with me and unpacking the trolley and just whole thing really... we usually divide and conquer, I unpack, she deals with the bags... but I ended up feeling a little flustered at the end of it... which was so totally about me rather than the nice lady at the checkout. And I know that it's just because I'm out of practice at shopping solo... I used to do it every week, all on my very own (of course that was before the whole recycled bag craze), and on a Thursday too.

For the most part though, people at my usual supermarket and associated areas, no crazier than usual...

After a quick trip to see The Honey Man, I came back here to unpack and whatnot and then I was left with only a vague and somewhat unformed plan of what to do with the rest of my day.

I started with a trip to Harbour Town... there's a Converse Shop down there, and after thinking about it for a while over the last couple of weeks I decided that I wanted a pair of Converse All Stars (actually what I really want are a pair of Converse Jack Purcells in leather... but that's all Sugarmonkey's fault... he has a pair he wears every Friday, and I covet them something chronic... now if only they made them in red), so after some slight trouble (okay, a lot of ongoing trouble) with both the skinny, skinny, skinny shoe boxes and the teeny tiny aisles in the shop and the seat that kept rising up on either side of me like an over inflated balloon every time I sat down or moved and massive amounts of indecision (red or grey with zippers across the hell with strips of bright fabric behind them), I settled on a pair of red Chuck Taylor All Star Hi-Tops... which unfortunately weren't on special like the grey ones, but I got them anyway (I was briefly tempted by a pair of tall Converse boots that actually had a zipper up the side, and if they'd had them in anything even remotely resembling my size, I probably would have bought them instead).

Then I just kind of wandered somewhat aimlessly up and down the single, winding "street" that is Harbour Town, trying to avoid the mass of squealing girlies who were congregating to see this year's Australian Idol Preschooler, Tom Williams... it was funny actually, when I went past the first time all I saw was the sign, and I thought it was THIS Tom Williams, which confused me since the crowd milling around seemed very young... but when I wandered back and saw the apparent 12 year old with pink hair signing autographs (and just the back of his head at that), the penny dropped.

And then, when I was walking past the window of The Perfume Connection, I saw these in the window:

harajuku lovers fragranceToo cute, too cute, too cute, too cute...

They're Harajuku Lovers Fragrance by Gwen Stefani (or by her L.A.M.B. brand, or some permutation or combination of some company owned or licenced by her)... but I probably would have just ogled them in the window and that would have been that, had it not been for the fact that one of the girlies in the shop came out to check something in the same window and we had a little conversation. And Ma did say something about wanting some different perfume (okay, she said that she wanted something new to last her until Christmas and her new bottle of Versace Woman, but the thought was still there)... so I ended up asking her to let me smell a couple of them.

Unfortunately the G one (which is Gwen, obviously, the little blonde dolly at the front) smells like coconut... which is fine, if you're, you know, a lamington... but other than that, not so much. So I ummed and ahhed and smelled a couple of the other ones (for the record, from left to right, they're Love, Lil Angel, Music and Baby) but couldn't make my mind up (BIG surprise there!)...

So I decided to call Ma... which is a whole drama all on it's own... my mobile was running out of battery, I knew that, but I'd called her earlier and that had worked out fine, but now we were playing phone tag... so I left her a vague message about the smell of coconut and decided to head down to Marion for no real specific reason, other than I was kind of already in the general sort of neighbourhood...

When I got to Marion, I tried calling her again... and my phone was doing that "Low Battery" warning beep thing when it connected... then while I was wandering around my phone must have rung twice and I didn't hear it, so Ma left a message... and I picked up that message... and then called her. And every time it connected, I got the same warning beeps. That is until I finally got hold of Ma... and we'd been on the phone for all of ten seconds and I heard "beep beep beep beep beep" in a particularly frantic tone, I said something like "oh shit" and my phone died. Totally and completely dead, no battery, no nothing.

So there I am, in Marion, with Ma none the wiser about why my phone has cut out, having heard me go "oh shit" and unbenounced to me is going slightly nuts and calling me seven times (I got all these little messages when I finally got home, plugged my phone into the charger and turned it on again)... and I possibly could have found a pay phone, but a) I had no change on me, b) I actually don't know how much a phone call costs any more (is it still 40c?) and c) I don't remember anybody's number any more since they're all in my phone. I kinda knew she would be having a mild panic, but I figured she'd realise that my phone was dead (she worked it out eventually, once she'd finished envisioning all sorts of gruesome possibilities) so I figured I could cope without my phone for an afternoon.

One of the first places I headed was Perfume Connection (obviously a different store), and got the nice girly to spray a couple of the other Harajukus on cards with the names on them (Baby didn't last long, too mild... but Music still smelled pretty good even after I'd been carrying it around in my back pocket for an hour or more).

Then I wandered here, there and everywhere, and that's really, really, really where all the crazy set in. There were SO many people down at Marion and they were all just getting in my, everybody elses and their own way... A-NOY-YING!

In the end with all my wandering I didn't buy anything other than lunch (mmm calamari)... that is, until I decided that I'd go back to Perfume Connection (for a third and hopefully final time, because once I've got hold of an idea, I don't like to let it go) and ask to smell one more of the fragrances, then make up my mind... Part of the problem was that it had to be a scent that was nice AND the little bottle dolly had to be cute... that counted out G (coconut), Lil Angel (smelled great, but the dolly wasn't right for Ma), Baby (too mild and bad dolly)... which left Music and Love, both of which smelled pretty good... so, like in all things, it came down to a decision of style. In the end I chose Love, because, you know, Ma and everything... plus it's probably the most "Japanese-ey" out of the dollies, which will go with all the other Japanese themed presents Ma's getting this year.

I like the text on the back of the box too... it has a picture of the dolly, then it gives a definition of love... the first few are about what you would expect... intense affection, passionate, beloved, blah blah... then you get to number 4... "A zero score in tennis"... which just cracked me up for some reason, especially since it goes back to all the "regular" love things.

But now, that's IT for Ma... really... well, I was thinking about getting her either some random chocolate from Haighs or they have this cute teddy bear... but then that's it, honest. Actually I think it would probably be a good idea for me to swear off any of the major suburban shopping malls until Christmas too, because they're all going to get more and more nuts the closer it gets... but Ma and I are so very organised and so very done, it's actually really scary... I don't know if we've ever been THIS ready this early.

Now all the have to do is battle through putting up the tree, work out when we're making all the Christmas goodies and before you know it, it will be Christmas... 26 days and counting people...

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