You know something... I shouldn't ever be let out where there are retail opportunities without a chaperone... I swear, once Christmas is over with, I'm going to put myself on a semi-strict "One Impulse Buy Treat Per Month" regime (of course I might have to "accidentally" forget about that during the January Sales)...I headed out to Orifficeworks this morning to get Ma's calendar all bound up, and ended up being a whole world of impulse control issues while I was there. When I arrived, they hadn't actually opened the store, so there was a little bit of standing around like an idiot, but that was okay, because there were perving opportunities a-plenty. First up there was much oggling of the cute boy wearing a singlet and driving a ute who was standing outside with me... yummy... then once I got inside there was brief perving on the cute redheaded boy behind the counter (and some more perving on Ute Boy).
But then I went over to the Printworks counter, and had to hang around like an idiot until a staff member appeared out of the back... but it was well worth it. Have you ever wanted to bite somebody's face clean off because they smelled SO fucking good? No? So maybe that's just me, but the guy who served me smelled SOOOOOOOOOO good... like really distractingly good, and every time I caught a whiff of it I half lost my train of thought. In the end I asked him what he was wearing... turns out it was the cologne version of the Lynx Dark Chocolate Temptation body spray I use. He would have to have either used a large amount of it, or else he'd only just put it on in the staff room before they opened the store, because I could smell it clear across the counter. Anyway, we bantered about how good he smelled, then got back to the business of binding the calendar (there was that moment when you realise that you're having a completely unrelated and possibly slightly inappropriate conversation with somebody in a shop and you just go "Anyway..." and get back to what you're supposed to be talking about). I asked him if I could get the calendar back today (thinking that I could come back in the afternoon to pick it up maybe)... he told me I could have it back in five minutes (it could have been because I told him he smelled good, although probably not).
I wandered around for a while, like you do when you're me in a stationery supply store ("oooh pencils... oooh USB drives... oooh things I have no need for but are really cute"), and happened to wander past the webcams. Can you tell where this story is going yet? Especially given that photo up at the top of the post... Honest, apart from the obvious and slightly filthy purpose you're all thinking about, I have no real use for a webcam... but there they were, looking at me (figuratively speaking) on the shelf... so now I'm the (theoretically) proud owner of a Logitech QuickCam E3500.
When I went back to get the calendar I caught another whiff of Printworks Boy (I was so distracted by how monumentally good he smelled that I forgot to look at his tag to work out what his name was), and had to reiterate out loud that he did, indeed, smell good (he took it all with quite good humour, either he's been hit on at work before, or else he was clueless enough not to realise what was going on) before paying for my purchases and going on my merry way.
I then HAD to head down to the place where Ma and I do our weekly Supermarket Safari to see if I could lay my hands on a bottle of this amazing smelling stuff (and if it turns out NOT to smell that like when it's on me then I'm going to be very, very grouchy)... I looked in all three major supermarket chains... I looked in a variety of small chemists... I even looked in Red Circle... Nothing, nada, zip, ziltch.
I mean there was a space for it on the shelf in Woolworths, but it space was empty. Thankfully Ma came to the rescue... she happened to be out shopping too and tracked down a bottle of it in her neck of the woods.
Then I came into town for a little bit to see if I could track down something that I really don't need and am not even sure that I want (hence why I'm not actually mentioning what it is), but if I can find it here rather than having to order it over the internet, it will save me a bunch of money that I probably shouldn't be spending anyway. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint) I couldn't see it anywhere I went, but I did manage to NOT buy anything else while I was looking... okay, I spent like $2, but that hardly counts.
I did however buy a lurid fluro yellow and pink Feast stubby holder (since this is my Weekend of Beer) on my way back to the car. That was an adventure in itself. The place had them on display pretty much in the doorway... stubbie holders and sweatbands and pink wings (which were tempting, but what the hell would I do with them... oooh, wait, Miss O for Christmas maybe... nah, maybe not, plus I would want to keep them myself)... so I went in and asked one of the girlies... who didn't know, so she asked the girly next to her, who didn't know, so she asked the seemingly more senior, and far funkier girly who was just coming across the room. Senior Funky Girly had a moment of "oh, umm, what should I do" before she got a hold of herself and told me to follow her. We went through one door, and then a second door, and there may well have been a third door (that might have been the one where I tripped up the step), I don't remember, it just seemed like a lot of doors, but suddenly we were in a little room with lots of Feast posters and boxes of merchandise. And I got my stubbie holder! *rolls eyes*
Then I came back here, had some lunch, set up the webcam, had a chat with Bear *la la la, pretends to be all innocent and ignore those knowing looks that you're all giving me, la la la*, and that's about where we are now...
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