deities

When I mentioned "Machine Washable, God of Clothing" in yesterday's post, it actually sparked off a whole other set of memories....

Way, way, way back... back when my apartment was actually Lownee's apartment (we switched... I moved here, she moved out to Golden Grove to share with Ludo)... she and I were having a "girly bonding evening" here (actually I think that was the same night she spilled the pasta sauce on the carpet... which is now where my teevee is)... and she was lamenting her lack of, well, pretty much everything actually...

I don't even know who came up with it, but suddenly we were actually building a little altar to the five deities that she wanted to invoke, and adding little icons or offerings, I'm not sure which... we switched off the lights, lit a candle and some incense and I channelled my inner holy-man and invoked them on her behalf...

Cha-Ching, God of Finance... with his offering of a small pile of coins...
Vroom, God of Cars... with his offering of either a toy car or else a picture of the car she wanted...
Rental Agreement, God of Housing... with his offering of the rental properties from the newspaper...
Job Guide, God of Employment... with his offering of, I think, the course she wanted to study so she could change careers...
Hubba-Hubba, God of Love & Smoochies... who I honestly can't remember what his offering was...

I couldn't tell you what I'd said, but it all sounded very "official" and I told her not to remove the icons/offerings or the incense ash...

And what do you know... within less than six months she actually had all the things she asked for in one form or another...

She got the course, which meant she could then get a better paying job (which takes care of Cha-Ching and Job Guide)... which also meant she could afford a new car (Vroom)... and she and I swapped apartments and she moved in with Ludo (which sorted out Rental Agreement, and then, ultimately Hubba-Hubba)...

Scary...

Of course, Lownee and I being Lownee and I... not only did they become shorthand for lamenting our lack of any given part of our life, but their names were taken in vain on more than one occasion.

And when those five weren't enough to cover all eventualities during our frequent emailing, we added to the pantheon... all of whom come under one or other of the original five in one way or another obviously...

Flicking through some of our old emails, these are the ones I could find... I'm sure there were others, but some of them got like one mention and were never brought up again...

Scruff, Demigod of Lust
Mindless Chatter, Goddess of Friendship
Svelte, Goddess of Slinky Figures
Blowwave, Demigod of Haircare
Strepsil, Goddess of Health
Urgent Deadline, Goddess of Workloads
Schlepp, God of Moving
and the latest addition... Machine Washable, God of Clothing

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