how i made my camera go kaput, volume ii

A sunset. A shoe. A dark room. Weak ankles. A brick wall.

These are the ingredients that you need to turn a fully functional digital camera into this...

When we went to Melbourne with Princess T in 2009, I managed to mistime a jump and smack my camera lens against a concrete bench...

Tonight, I got up to open my bedroom curtains, realised it was a particularly beautiful sunset and went to get the camera. On my way back I stepped on one of the shoes I'd been wearing earlier in the day, my ankle went out from under me and I smacked my hands against the wall.

This would have been fine, but I was holding the camera in one of them and it was on and the lens was extended.

So for the second time in a row (if an 16 month gap can be said to constitute "in a row"), I smacked my camera lens against something very, very hard and unforgiving. And now it stays extended permanently.

Last time I went into complete mental lock-up, it being our first day of holidays and all... but part of me can see the funny side this time. If only because I did it in the exact same way.

If I'd dunked it in water or dropped it onto the road or run over it with the car or flung it across the room, that's one thing... but to do the exact same thing in a very similar way... what are the fucking odds!

And after all the very hard work it's done today too... this is the thanks I give it!

So I'm going to take it somewhere tomorrow (either one of the local versions of the store I bought it from in Melbourne, or else Diamonds, since they're my usual go-to for camera stuff) and get them to tell me how much it's going to cost to fix it. And then I'm going to get them to have one of the more attractive members of staff give me mouth to mouth after I pass out. Then we'll talk about replacement cameras.

At least this time I have the bonus of time on my side, there's nothing in the very near future that I'm going to need the camera for... so I can think about some options and work out what the hell I want to do rather than just going in and buying the first camera that I see.

But it is making me go "Seriously!? Again?!"...

And either I did something to my back when I smacked into the wall, or I'm just having delayed shock, because I'm feeling a little odd. I was kinda fine before... but now, not so much.

As they say in the classics, for fuck's sake!

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