wednesday oddities

Okay, technically one of these stories happened on Tuesday, but it was still slightly outside the norm... and the first one is more annoying than odd... but we'll soldier on...

I had to wait around this morning for the handyman that my land agent arranged. And, as with all tradesmen (with the exception of the incredibly cute electrician), he'd said between 8 and 8:30. Doing the "tradespeople to normal people translation" in my head I knew that that meant that if I wasn't dressed and organised by 8 he'd be early... but if I was organised then he wouldn't come until after 8:30. So naturally it was the latter scenario. And it wasn't even worthwhile when he got here... he wasn't the least bit humpable (or as it turns out, useful).

I knew he wasn't going to be able to do a damn thing, he look one look at the problem and said he wasn't going to be able to do a damn thing (well, he stopped the thing from falling apart completely, but if I can't get it fixed in a timely manner then that's going to be more annoying than if it DID fall to bits... at least then I could play the "panic" card)... the down side of that is that it took about a week to even get him out here... now I have to start the whole process again with somebody who CAN fix the problem. So that's going to be another exercise in frustration.

As always, the ultimate problem is my cheapass, moronic, shifty landlord... he just never wants to spend any money or be helpful or occasionally even answer his phone or pay his bills. The worst thing that ever happened in all my rental experiences (and we're including having to do a "forced swap" with Lownee and living out in Legoland) is when he bought this building.

On the upside, I know I can take whatever time off work that I need to to sort this all out. Sure, I don't get paid for any of it, but it's not like the time itself is an issue.

Now the other story might just be weird in my head, and it might have been a perfectly ordinary thing that happened, but what made it weird was actually me. Just hear me out...

After the movie last night, I went, as I often do after the movies, to the bathroom. As I walked in, this guy came in just after me and I happened to catch a look at him as I turned around to close the cubical door. Cute, probably in his very early 20's, slightly Mediterranean looking, reasonably stylishly dressed. Actually there was a brief moment of eye contact, which maybe be what started this whole thought process off in my head...

He then proceeded to take the cubical next to me... the only other cubical in the place (the rest of this particular bathroom is just one long urinal). Which was fine... then he proceeded to pee standing up, which again was fine, personally I'm not really a big fan of the urinal either. But the way he was standing, I could see his shiny black shoe under the partition, which again, fine. A little strange, because he was obviously standing with his legs very far apart, and possibly even straddling the bowl... but not outside the realms of normality.

After he'd finished doing what he was doing, he turned to face me. I know this because I could still see his shoe. Actually I was half waiting for him to start tapping his foot... he just seemed to be taking much longer than you would expect to do what he needed to do... all the while with his foot (and by inference, the rest of him) facing towards me, albeit on the other side of the cubical wall. And you know what they say... "Shake more than twice and your playing with yourself". Added to all of that was a zipper noise at what seemed like the wrong time...

Eventually he left the cubical and washed his hands, then dried his hands, and dried his hands, and dried his hands... and then he was obviously still in there, but I couldn't hear anything. And part of me is thinking that Ma is waiting for me, part of me is wondering what the hell is going on, and part of me is kind of wishing I had more time to find out. So I leave my cubical, and he's standing at the mirror, essentially preening, while I wash my hands.

I glanced at him in the mirror, as you do, and at that precise moment he happened to be adjusting his belt buckle...

And just as I finished washing my hands and turned the water off... another guy came in to use the bathroom...

But seriously, am I nuts, or was there some very subtle dance of anonymous sex going on... or was he just an overly vain straight boy with a hygiene fetish who happened to get a text message on his phone after peeing? Enquiring minds want to know!

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