- You can call anyone "honey" including pets.
- You can be at a crowded disco the size of two football fields and still spot a toupee.
- You can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.
- Your women friends will tell you everything you want to know about their boyfriends. And that means everything.
- You're the only type of male who gets to say "fabulous".
- You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home.
- You can have naked men you don't know in your home.
- You understand why the good Lord invented spandex.
- You understand why the good Lord didn't intend everyone to wear it.
- You know how to get back at just about everyone. And have.
- You know that the most important part of a party's decor is the catering staff.
- You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.
- You can freeze a troll from 20 feet away.
- You're good pals with women other people can't stand.
- You've always got an opinion.
- Your car has an amusing female name.
- You've got at least one framed picture of a pet.
- You know that sex complicates things. So?
- You know that being called a "cheap slut" isn't actually an insult.
- You have at least one movie musical on DVD.
- You never hold a grudge for longer than a decade or two.
- You know how to make an entrance.
- You know when to make an exit.
- You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
- You know when to play dumb.
- You know what to do for a hangover.
- Yes, you do have a condom.
- You've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.
- You know when the party's over.
- You know where to go after the party's over.
- You know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.
- You know that referring to someone as "a real lady" isn't necessarily a compliment.
- Your favorite dinner accessory may also be your dinner companion.
- If your cat is a female, you swear it's a lesbian.
- If your cat is a male, you swear it's a lesbian.
- You sing along heartily with songs that make most females cringe, like "Stand by your man".
- You have a favorite Disney character and it's usually a nasty one.
- You've left someone totally speechless.
- You've shaved something other than your face.
- Your love handles are actually used as such.
- You've got the most interesting coffee table books.
- You have a sexual persuasion with its own flag.
- At some moment in your life you've envisioned having back-up girls.
- You know your enemies.
- You know that "small talk" can be about spirituality or politics, and "important issues" can be about hair.
- You've actually lived out some of your fantasies.
- Unlike most straight women, you have no problem being treated solely as a sex object.
- You have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost. 136 are non-verbal.
- You can lip-sync to at least one Supreme's song.
- You have a carefully selected Yiddish vocabulary.
fifty things about being gay
Labels:
gay,
general randomness
3 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Numbers 4, 14, 19, 43, 45, 47 are soooo true!
I love these. They are fabulous. :)
For some unknown reason Sunshine I had it in my brain that electro^plankton's comment was actually by you... obviously I'm getting old and senile... *rolls eyes*
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