unexpected sauna adventures

Okay... that SO didn't work out the way I thought it was going to...

I should probably have left this until tomorrow... by which I mean later today... you know... when it's light o'clock outside again... but I think I need to get it all out of my brain first.

So obviously, I went to the sauna again tonight...

And you know how I've said on previous occasions that if the Universe ever doesn't give me a carpark right where I want it, then I'm going to give up and go home... well, the Universe was screaming it at me tonight... there weren't any readily available carparks... well that's not totally true, there were two people headed back to their car just as I arrived, but it took them the entire time it took me to go around the very big block to get their acts together and get out of there...

Then, when I walked into the place, the guy behind the counter was off cleaning, and there was a sign on the window saying he'd be back in five minutes. Luckily it only turned out to be maybe a minute or two... but still...

Now I know sometimes I miss the signals (to the point of needing to have a house dropped on me Wicked Witch style before I pay attention)... but the Universe was SCREAMING at me to go home... or maybe not actually... it might have been seeing if I was going to chicken out at the first sign of trouble, because it had something strange and new to throw at me.

Trixy bastardry Universe...

Anyway... once I was in there, the theme continued... the place seemed pretty much DESERTED... but that can change in the space of ten minutes, so I let my eyes accustom to the light or lack of same, then did a wander around... blah, blah, blah...

And it did pick up... suddenly either a bunch of people arrived... or the ones who were already there all finished who/what they were doing and were all out on the prowl again, I dunno...

I was in the steam room at one point and it was a little crowded.... and there were the most INTERESTING noises coming from the far corner... somebody... no, actually, two somebodies (at least) were enjoying themselves very much... which nearly made me laugh... because the two voices could not have been more different... one very butch and gruff, and one a little high and girly... and the high and girly one, had if I had happened to have an Oscar for Best Dramatic Performance by an Actress on my person at the time, he would totally have won it. He was enjoying himself and didn't care who knew.

The crowd thinned out some, and I found a spare bit of bench... I was determined to see who the hell had been making all the noise. I'm still not completely sure who the butch noisemaker was... a couple of guys left within quick succession of each other, so it could have been either... but the other voice, that was a different story.

As he headed past me towards the exit, he looked me square in the face. Which wouldn't be that odd, except for two things... firstly, that almost never happens, if you do look, you do it with just eyes, not your whole head... secondly, as he did it he either stopped dead in his tracks for a second or else tripped or something, I don't know... but there was a total pause in there.

He was cute too... young, skinny, cute... but I didn't give it a second thought really... maybe he thought he recognised me... that actually has happened before... guy swore black and blue that he knew me, and that I was from some random country town... which, of course, I'm not, and wouldn't believe me when I told him.

Anyway... later on, I was in the steam room again and a guy came and sat on the upper benches near me... which wouldn't have been that odd, but he was sort of angling his body towards me... so we did the look, look away, look, look away thing... it's stupid and juvenile, but it's what happens. Next thing I know, he's sliding over towards me... and it's Mr Screamer from earlier (which I'm not sure I realised until the noises started).

And he's much cuter than I'd originally thought... I'd almost go as far as gorgeous... dark haired, short (although I didn't really find that out until later), smooth (well, except for this cute little chin goatee thing) and maybe very early 20's if I'm lucky (the whole 18-20 range wouldn't be totally out of the question I don't think)... not unlike the guy in the picture up the top there... maybe not so abtastic... but, not that far outside the ballpark. So I'm kind of waiting for the whole Candid Camera thing, somebody to jump out and yell "SURPRISE" or him to run away, or something... because it just threw me... it's not, as they say, usual.

So we play, everything's nice... he's VERY enthusiastic and noisy again... which, of course, brings in all the other carnivores, and I have to shoo a couple of wandering hands off him... MINE DAMMIT! And after a bit he leans over and says that he needs to get out of the steamroom because it's too hot for him... which is totally understandable since he's still sitting on the upper level... plus, you know... carnivores... so I take a chance and ask him if he wants me to come with him... and he says yes. Surprise number two!

He then suggest that we go over into the dry sauna room to "dry off"... which is a little weird, because I always find that room HOTTER than the steam room... but at this point, I'm willing to follow his shapely little ass WHEREVER he wants to lead me.

Oh, and he held the fountain tap for me so I could grab a drink after he'd had one... awwwww... bless. Yeah, I know... lame... but it was sweet.

Anyway, we hit the dry room... and there's some very nice snoggage... very, very nice. But the carnivores have either followed us across or else totally new ones have seen us and followed us in. Plus it's fuckin' hot in there. So I whisper to him "I'm taking you upstairs"... which just seemed the right thing at the time... and he's up for it... so up we go.

And more fun times were had once we found ourselves a room (even though he apologised at one point because he was really exhausted... not that I really minded hehehe)... it's always nice when you're with a vocal partner and you know other people can hear you, and you know that you're the reason for that noise... or is that just me?

We played around for a while, then he said he really needed a rest, and I suggested we just hang out in the room for a while, which seemed like the best plan to me... and him as it turns out... but alas, the whole "rest" thing didn't last so long (he started it, I swear!)... and eventually he said he REALLY needed to go downstairs and chill out.

I figured I'd already gotten this far by asking for what I wanted, so I asked him if I gave him my number, would he call me... see, not just asking if I can give him my number, but if there's really any point in doing so. And I was fully prepared for a "no"... I mean, what happens at the sauna stays at the sauna... oh, crap, I broke that rule didn't I... well, shit...

Where was I? Oh yeah, I asked if he would call me...

I think his exact reply was "definitely"... which is much better in my book than "yeah sure", so I went downstairs with him and wrote down my mobile number on one of the handy pieces of scrap paper they keep for just such purposes. I didn't ask for his number (or name come to think of it), I figured it gave me a perfect out... if he calls, he calls... if not, I've got nothing I can obsess over. Please don't let me find that he has a Gaydar profile like the last time I did the phone number thing at the sauna... *crosses fingers*

Do I want him to call? Oh hell yes! Do I think he's going to call? Actually I'm kind of in two minds about that... he seemed very definite that he would... but for all I know he could have detoured around to the lounge area and thrown my number away seconds after I gave it to him. So I'm not going to obsess one way or the other... actually I might just presume he's not going to call... so that if he does it's a nice surprise... how about that? Let's see if that works...

Now for the other reason that the night turned out a little differently... after I parted company with Mr Screamer (oh lord, I'm going to need a better nickname for him if he does call) and had done a quick lap around the place to no avail I stuck my head into the lounge area where there's a BIG ASS projection screen teevee... seriously... I think it's the size of my living room wall... maybe bigger... and there was an episode of Gimme Gimme Gimme playing...

How to explain the depravity that is Gimme Gimme Gimme... think the evil, skanky, lowbrow, English lovechild of Ab Fab and Will and Grace circa 2000... it's highly tasteless, but had some very funny moments in it. Anyway, I assumed that the ABC in their infinite wisdom had started playing it again on a Saturday night (which is where I first saw it many, many moons ago)... and because I haven't seen it in forever, I ended up sitting down and watching the rest of the episode... then a second episode came on... so I assumed Foxtel... you know, back to back to back to back episodes of stuff... maybe some sort of marathon...

But I'd seen the next episode, so I went for another wander, and when I came back the lounge area was pretty much FULL... and everybody was glued to the screen. So there weren't really any spare seats that I could get to easily, but after somebody left I ended up sitting up the back at the "bar" where you can order food if the mood takes you (don't ask, I don't know what they serve and I'm not sure I want to find out)... and the guy behind the counter was flitting back and forth, and when his overly pierced self (he had a piercing through the skin at the base of his throat amongst others) happened to be behind me I asked him if it was Foxtel... turns out no... DVD... he owns all three season, but only brought one in. He's obviously seen them more than a few times... he was laughing well in advance of a few of the jokes... but at least we were laughing at the same things... I don't think some of the guys got some of the more "English" humour.

So, yeah, I finished my night at the sauna watching an old teevee show about a neurotic gay guy and a fat slapper... I also thanked the guy behind the counter for bringing them in as I left... well, it's only polite.

And now, dear friends... to Beddenstine...

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