coffee, conversation and confusion

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

coffee - is the planet shaking or is it just me?Okay... so I'm officially a little confused...

Not "last time" confused... but possibly "in need of a specific conversation" confused...

Of course, the cause of confusion is Coffee With Marc Part III... well, technically not the coffee part exactly, but the whole general thing.

I will freely admit that I am in some seriously uncharted territory here... I've never really successfully tried to integrate the whole "have had sex" thing with the "friends" thing... well, I kinda have, but not for very long, and it was usually the death of one half or the other... people that I could have been friends with, but I wasn't that fussed on the sex part... or people where we had the sex, and then the friendship stuff got difficult.

To be honest, I think in this case it's more that I haven't had the overly confrontational conversation about the whole thing... so I don't know what the rules are and I'm not sure where the appropriate lines are. Once I know where the lines are I'm more than happy to play within them, but you throw me out in the wilderness with no lines to play in, and I'm going to be all over the map.

Confused yet? Yeah, welcome to my brain... I'm sure chunks of this aren't going to make a whole hell of a lot of sense, because they don't make that much sense to me either.

Anyway, as I mentioned this morning, we had coffee here in North Adelaide (actually I took Marc to the place we always had coffee after Camera Club, since I know they do good coffee)... and we probably spent about the same amount of time having coffee as last time... I'm not sure if it's by accident or design, but it was about an hour and a half both times.

I will say this... and it's something that I've noticed with other people too... or maybe it's just him, I don't know (no, actually, it's other people too, but I'm not mentioning any names)... but one thing that does annoy me in conversation is not being allowed to finish my damn story. I'll happily sit there and let you tell me whatever the hell you like... and unless what you're saying is so patently a load of bullcrap, I won't necessarily interrupt you (of course, if I couldn't care less, I'll just sit there and let you tell me anything you like, nod, smile and run away as soon as I can)... but in return I expect you to let me finish a damn story! I don't have a problem with a minor digression here and there (that's pretty much the nature of my relationship with J... we digress our brains out, but we let each other tell a damn story)... but if you digress by telling a story that actually has nothing to do with what the hell I'm talking about (especially if you start it by making me think it has something to do with the topic at hand and it ends up out in the middle of nowhere), and then keep talking, taking me further and further away from what the hell I was talking about... well, that's just going to annoy me.

Doubly so if you've specifically tried to get me to tell a story or take charge of the conversation, and then continue to cut the legs out from under me. Sometimes I'll just get stubborn, and bring the conversation back and finish the damn story no matter what... other times I'll just wave at it as it floats out to sea, never to be seen again.

And if you tell me something once, and I don't ask for further clarification, then I got the point you were trying to make the first time, don't labour it and say the same damn thing three times...

Hmmm... whiny, demanding little shit, ain't I?

Maybe I just don't really like people that much... or possibly just in small doses.

For the record, I didn't jump him... I possibly would have, but the opportunity never really presented itself... which brings me back around to needing to have the overly confrontational conversation with Marc. It's not so much that I don't know the rules of the game... it's more that I don't actually know what game we're playing... once I know that, the rules will take care of themselves...

There's always next time...

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Jeremiah Andrews Wednesday, April 16, 2008 11:00:00 am  

This is why we have rules. Well, I have rules, "Never sleep with/have sex with your friends," because eventually you are going to end up right where you are.

I guess you boys are going to bump into each other until one of you makes a certain initiation of what comes next...

But do you want what comes next, and will it be too awkward for you both?

Marriage just killed this issue for me. But as a single man, I rather would have the friend than a fuck buddy, and even that is progress for me. When I was much younger I would have opted for the sex rather than the friendship. Or stupidly as I did as a young person, wanted BOTH... I failed on all fronts with that one.

Good luck and keep us posted.


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