weird weird mood

Saturday, April 08, 2006

I've been in such a weird mood this week... especially the second half of the week... it's a whole world of needing to do something bad, extreme, different, unexpected... I don't know... just SOMETHING... it's not a new feeling, it crops up every now and again, and I usually end up doing something stupid, or slutty (or both)...

But with my recent slutty sauna adventures, thankfully I can cross slutty off the list, since I've pretty much filled my quota of that (no pun intended) for the time being... which just leaves stupid... great...

It's like I want to skip my daily walk (like I nearly did on Friday), eat junk food (which I kind of did on Friday night, but it didn't help)... oh I don't know... I want to do something that I shouldn't do... or not do something that I should...

Partly I know where it's coming from... it's the whole "trying to control something when everything else feels out of control"... so if I can't control how other people feel about me, or the whole job situation, then I can damn well control who I have sex with or what I eat or whatever... even if afterwards those choices turn out to have been really bad ideas...

I also don't think that the advent of Daylight Savings last weekend has helped my mood either... especially since the weather turned decidedly wintery last weekend, and has continued in the same vein all week... what with the apparent lack of sunshine at the end of the day (I'm sure it's actually not, but it just seems to be getting dark REALLY early suddenly), coupled with the days being cloud and cold(ish) and not overly sunny to begin with, well, I think I have a case of the Winter Blues a little early this year.

Oh, and for the record, of the five guys who I had in various spots on the horizon the other week, every one except Slick Willy (but that's only about the sex) and Marc have been removed from the running... Phoenix has "done his dash", I text messaged him on Wednesday saying "can we chat", and never heard back... sorry, you ignore me twice, we're done... buh-bye...

Okay, okay... I didn't actually delete and block him like I said I was going to... but he's in the "To Be Deleted" folder on MSN... and if I haven't heard from him by Sunday night... then he's gone!

I have no idea if Marc is actually going to call... I would think that he would after the chat we had last Saturday, but who knows... and if not, well, we're back to square one with just Slick Willy...

Good god... when did I become the heroine of a trashy romance novel with a tortured love life and a crappy trackrecord with men... sheesh...

Hopefully once I shake this mood (and these last lingering possibilities resolve themselves one way or the other) we can get back to our regularly scheduled program and I can go back to being all Zen about being alone again...

Current Mood: craptastic

1 comments:

Sunshine Monday, April 10, 2006 7:10:00 am  

Aww :( sorry to hear you're feeling like crap. There is always a new week and a new beginning. So chin up, you! :)

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