It's so weird... suddenly there just seems to be so much potentially on offer to me, probably more than there has been in the last two or three years to be honest... and I can't work out why... did the Universe finally take notice of my Wishlist? Was turning 32 some mystical fork in the road, kind of like turning 22 was... maybe it's me and birthdays that end in two... hmmm... could be something in that... a ten year cycle...
Anyway, there are three, potentially four, theoretically five guys in and around my life at the moment, and I kind of need to clear my head about them... and I give you the same warning I gave on Sunday... which, to be honest is just my way of saying to the one or two people who might read this who I actually know "Shoo! Go read something else"... the rest of you can go nuts...
Guy #1... We'll call him Slick Willy (although technically he's not half as slick as I think he thinks he is)... with Willy, it's just about the sex... but it's also just about him laying back and me servicing him... which is okay... he's enthusiastic and appreciative, but like I said, it's all about him. I guess he's just a placemarker more than anything else... or maybe the "Go-To Guy"... I know he's probably always going to say yes, and it's fun... but that's all it is and all it will ever be... and more importantly all I would ever want it to be... and when it stops being fun, I will have no hesitation about kicking him out of my life... "Buh-bye... don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out"... although I should probably thank him... he was kind of the catalyst for all this happening... I can't explain it... but after I hooked up with him again (we'd played once before just after I got back from Melbourne, but I hadn't heard from him since) all these things started to fall into place and guys just started to crawl out of the woodwork left, right and center...
Guy #2... Cubby from Sunday's post... he's actually the "potential fourth" guy... I know I can't have him, at least not any more than I already have... firstly he has a partner, secondly I'm actually too young for him by at least 10 or more years... which just seems to weird to me, since he's about 7 or 8 years younger than me. That's not to say I wouldn't kill for a snuggletime session with him... like I said on Sunday, he's all about the snuggle...
Guy #3... The "theoretical fifth" guy... The Academic... he and I chatted a long time back when he was still with a partner, then again after they had broken up... and eventually, after what felt like too much energy spent chasing him on my part, we hooked up in January... he's sweet, a little depressive, but sweet... but since then I've always been the one to message him or start a chat with him and he even admitted he'd deleted me from MSN because he "did a complete erase weeks ago in a black period"... so after seeing the Oprah show I mentioned on Sunday, the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" thing, I'm cutting him loose, because, clearly, he's just not that into me... there were also a couple of other guys who were "sniffing around" who got deleted from my MSN list in the wake of HJNTIY... guys with partners who just seemed to be looking for something on the side, and one of those I think was lying through his teeth about almost everything he said to me.
Guy #4... Marc from Sunday... yeah, I know... I hooked up with him once (technically twice, but both on the same day and in the same place)... and I may never actually see him again... but I would really like to...
And finally...
Guy #5... Phoenix... I honestly don't know how I feel about about Phoenix yet...
Phoenix messaged me on Gaydar last night, when I was sitting in chat but really should have already logged out and gone to bed... I initially thought he was going to be a tirekicker... someone who messages you, has some inane chat with you but hasn't read your profile and then runs off when they have... (the description comes from the whole image of someone shopping for a car who gets the salesman's hopes up, but basically just looks at the car, kicks the tires and leaves)... but Phoenix had actually read my profile, and was asking me stuff about some of the likes and dislikes I have listed there... and it looks like we had some similar opinions about things... always good... but all that his profile told me was that he is 21, 5'9" and slim build...
For some reason something in the back of my brain thought me might be Asian (Buffy fan, 5'9" slim, seemed to be into me... call it a hunch of some kind), but I wasn't sure... and, I'll be honest, when considering things of a sexual nature, guys of Asian appearance just don't do it for me... but then neither do black guys, or some Latino guys... it's just the way I'm wired (although on the flip side of that, mix any of those races with white and I'm all about the lust... eurasians, cafe latte guys... mmmm). As it turns out, I was right... he is of Asian heritage, but born and raised here in Australia...
So I wasn't sure I was all that interested in Phoenix (although I hadn't actually seen a photo at that stage)... but his conversation had me hooked and kind of intrigued... especially since he had approached me and was chasing me just a little bit... I cannot tell you the last time I was chased like that... actually I can... or at least the last time it was effective... my first (and only) boyfriend, Stephen... so it wasn't a completely new experience, but one I haven't had in a great long while (like ten years).
We chatted for far longer than I'd intended to stay up last night (from about 10:30 to around 12:45am, which made me less happy about getting up for my walk this morning... whole world of Zombieyani)... and when I logged in this morning after my walk he messaged me again and we chatted and flirted some more... and he showed me a couple of pictures of him... and I did likewise... and, well... I'm still undecided...
He's cute, he's sweet, he's funny, he looks like he has a killer body and he seems to think I'm cute for god only knows what reason... but I'm not sure I can get past my "wiring"...
It might be nice to try though... so I'm thinking about asking him over to watch DVD's with me tomorrow since he mentioned he has a day off from Uni... it might be fun to do something with a guy that doesn't start off being about sex... of course it might END UP there... but I don't want it to start off there...
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