movies: transformers: dark of the moon

So, let's lay our cards out on the table shall we... Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the point at which Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise really, truly jumps the shark.

It's too long, too over the top (within the frame of reference) and takes us too far away from the original.

It also committed the cardinal sin of action movies... it didn't even keep me engaged for large chunks of it's somewhat bloated 157 minute running time.

Shia LaBeouf, although looking tres handsome in a suit for portions of the movie, seemed to have been given instructions to make Sam so completely over the top and angry that he became unlikeable. And when the main human lead and emotional linchpin of your massive CGI movie isn't particularly likeable, then you've got a problem.

It also appears that the new female character played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was essentially shoehorned in over the top of the character that Megan Fox would have played if she hadn't lost her mind somewhat. In fact, it makes much more sense for the character dynamics if she had been Fox... not that she isn't completely incidental for the most part.

Incidental is kind of the word that describes the majority of the movie actually... the whole thing feels kind of like a generic alien invasion movie, especially in the final hour... any of the new Transformer characters have even less of an introduction or have any time spent with them in any way (other than, oddly enough, Laserbeak) that I honestly have no idea who some of them were or were supposed to be.

Frances McDormand and John Malkovich also turn up... Malkovich is criminally underused (I can only imagine the size of the truck they backed up to his house) and McDormand appears to be treading the line between "annoying company man" from the last movie and acting as though she's in one of the Bourne movies. At least her character is likeable enough though.

The humans in general are a little incidental though... unlike the first couple of movies where it really is a human (specifically Sam) who "saves the day", this time there's no heroic last minute thing... not really anyway... not so that you'd notice.

Surprisingly, given the fact that the last hour is one long action scene that just keeps going and going, there's a lack of action set pieces in the early parts of the movie. Whether they knew what they had coming and just didn't want to add any more or not I don't know...

And there were parts I did like... pretty much anything with Bumblebee... and seeing Soundwave in his terrestrial form was good... but I don't know that I can really name a specific sequence and say "I liked it when...".

So, sadly, I have to say that Dark of the Moon was highly disappointing.

yani's rating: 1 homicidal photocopier out of 5