sunday bear sauna session

As part of the Bear Men of Adelaide's Fringe Bears events, there was a recovery session at the sauna on Sunday afternoon after the Honey dance party...

And even though I'd been out at Fork On The Road, I really couldn't pass up the opportunity, so when I got home, I got changed and headed straight back out.

The usual sexual references, adult themes warning applies to this post... just so you know.

I don't think I've ever actually seen that many big, bearded guys wandering around the sauna to be honest... I know bear guys are bigger so they take up more space, but even so, the place was more full of manflesh than usual.

I also ran into Marc who I don't think I've seen for a couple of years... and I think the last time may have been in Marion.

Although it was a little awkward when Marc dragged me off to the dry sauna to chat, only to find that the guy I'd just had sex with was in there, and Marc (who always knows everybody) started chatting with him.

The fact that there were so many bears around did lead to, at least from my perspective, a weird dichotomy.

Firstly because I think a large number of the guys either already knew each other, or had met each other during the other Fringe Bear events, so there was much, much more chatting in any number of locations throughout the sauna.

The other amusing thing was the number of faces that I recognised from various online platforms (or possibly previous trips to the sauna, I'm not sure)... I kept thinking "I know your face, and yours, and yours..."

And while it also felt more "friendly", I also noticed that like any other part of the gay community, there was definitely a social hierarchy, for want of a better term. There were the uber bears... really short dark hair, tattoos, beards, beefy rather than fat... who were a little bit of the "cool kids"... being exhibitionists in the pool, strutting around without towels, that kind of thing...

Weirdly, Marc made a comment about guys like that not being interested in smaller guys like him and when I mentioned to him that I probably has about as much chance with them as he did... and we kinda both seemed to be surprised by the other. I did try testing the theory later on, but not overly strenuously... so I'm not sure whether I was right or not.

I was amused, as usual, by some of the almost ritual behaviours of some of the guys... like the fact that if you're standing in a spot and they've already decided they're not interested, they'll look around the corner but not come down that stretch of corridor.

Overall though it was a relatively younger crowd... yes, there were some older guys around, but not as old as you may have expected from a bear gathering.

There was one weird moment with an older dude actually... I was resting between rounds in the spa and had my arms out of the water to help regulate my temperature (ie, with my arms in the water I overheated too quickly) and somehow that must have been some kind of older dude catnip, because there was a dude who got into the spa and tried to play footsie, which would have been nice if I'd not been resting.

But then there was this other old dude who just stood outside the spa and was staring at me... like creepy, serial killer staring. I tried ignoring him, I tried shaking my head at him, I tried keeping my eyes closed, but nothing seemed to deter him.

He wandered off, and I thought that was the end of it, but he appeared again shortly after and got into the spa. And he kept staring. I also think he may have been self pleasuring under the water, which was just creepy.

So I told him exactly that... that he needed to stop because he was creeping me out. I don't quite know how he hadn't worked out that he was being creepy... but he was quite apologetic about it. Had it been me, I would have immediately left the spa, but he just stuck around for a while, which again was slightly creepy.

I did play around a bunch more than usual... up until the point where my body just went, "yeah, you're done champ".

I also experienced one of the strangest cocks I have ever come into contact with... I never saw it clearly, but it had what is most correctly referred to as a penile subincision... plus a Prince Albert, and possibly some implants under the skin.

That kind of thing never freaks me out... I was intrigued, and just wish I'd gotten a proper look at it.

Unfortunately I think I possibly missed my opportunity to drag Marc off to a quiet corner and have my way with him... actually I don't know if that would even have been possible, but I didn't even think of it at the time and by the time I did he'd disappeared.

It was a very pleasant and mostly relaxing end to my very long post-birthday weekend though.

Current Mood:

j's secret birthday party

So it turns out that a number of things are true...

I am a fuckin worrywart. It is possible to both enjoy yourself at a dinner party and still indulge in your backup plan. Fourteen is actually too many people for one of J's dinner parties.

It's also true that I totally forgot that yesterday was Talk Like A Pirate Day, and today is J's birthday, hence last night's dinner party (okay, that's only really about the latter, and not at all to do with the former)... even though he actually didn't tell anybody that was the reason, and I had totally forgotten.

Now I'm glad that the Universe (via Sugarmonkey) instructed me to take wine!

And it's also true that J really can't count (he had counted the exact number of guests, but forgot to count himself), and that the only real screwups last night were pretty much logistical (the aforementioned counting mostly but also a lack of a seating plan of any kind).

As usual I was the first to arrive... but while I'm usually a whole world of time planning and "is it too early to go, I think it is to early, so I'll just do this, oh and now it's later than I would have liked and I feel like I'm in a rush", which is pretty much my default setting for everything, last night could not have been cruisier... I finished what I was doing, had a shower, got dressed, packed up my stuff and headed off, getting there almost exactly at the specified time.

What was a little disturbing was that because there were 14 people coming (although J was still thinking it was 13 at this stage), there were actually two tables that had been pushed together to make one freaking giant table... and honestly I think that was a mistake... not the "allowing everyone to have adequate room to eat" thing, but rather having so many people that it became almost impossible to hear a conversation on the other side of the table and everyone seemed to fragment into little groups much more so than at previous parties.

But my general fears about the particular mix of people were mostly unfounded... even though J had rambled on about how there was such a range and mix of people coming, there really weren't... mostly you could boil it down to "skinny little gay boys" (although having said that, there was probably only one of them who was the totally stereotypical ideal of that), "the old queen and partner" (who can be fun, although a little draining after a while... and the partner just bothers me for some unspecified reason), "the woman incapable of comprehending irony or sarcasm" (yeah, marvel in that concept for a second... you're surrounded by gay men and don't get sarcasm), "family" and me. With an emphasis on skinny little gay boys group. Not that they were uninteresting, and not that J's parties haven't often been skewed heavily in that direction, but it was much more manageable than I thought it might have been.

And of course, J's social circle is often slightly biased towards people he's either slept with or attempted to date at some stage. While that did occur last night, it wasn't the worst ever example of that though.

I also really realised last night that very often I know some seriously random stuff... while I wasn't especially Chatty Cathy all night (more on that in a sec), I did manage to pull out some really random pieces of information that, while they were totally relevant to what we were talking about at the time, were still pretty damn random (and it was commented on at one point too). It was also kind of funny that there were two pieces of information that filtered back to me that were like (and just go with me here on the analogy) pigeons that I'd released out into the world and had taken a very long time to return.

One was the "nickname" that Sheba and I gave to a particular little gayboy back at the dawn of time (who wasn't in attendance)... actually it wasn't so much a true nickname as a statement that "he could eat an apple through a tennis racket" (ie bad teeth). And someone at dinner last night called him "Tennis Racket", which I thought was amusing.

The other informational pigeon is one that I usually end up mentioning at J's dinner parties sooner or later, but I never really took on board that other people may have taken it and used it... and that's the concept of the "Seven Minutes Silence". I have no idea where the hell I read or heard about it, but as the concept goes when any group of people are in conversation, there is a natural lull or pause every seven minutes. The larger you scale up the group the less likely it is that all the little subgroups will have 7MS that intersect, but there was a point last night when it did... so, as usual, to break the 7MS I tell people about the 7MS. And it turns out that J's sister has taken that particular little nugget and mentioned it to other people.

People listen to things I say... who knew!?!

The main issue I had with last night was, as I said, the size of the group... usually it's easy enough to switch between conversational groups at a dinner party, and while there was some of that, it was harder than normal due to the size of the table. Added to that was the fact that I was kind of in "The Family Corner" (not intentionally, it just worked out that way and I was fairly happy about it), but there were a couple of times where I was a little bit Robinson Crusoe when people got up to do things between courses, and I did feel like I was being ignored at certain points. Hence the aforementioned lack of Chatty Cathyness at certain points.

It did give me the ability to observe though, which is always fun... but it also meant that I didn't always get to chat to the people I may have liked to. J did admit that he really should have had a seating plan rather than just letting everyone gravitate to wherever they felt like sitting, and it potentially could have been a very different evening if he'd done that... so long as I didn't have to sit next to the woman who didn't understand sarcasm...

I would like, if I may (and it's my blog, so I very much may do whatever I damn well like) to talk about Butch for a moment...

Butch is a contradiction... I don't mean that he's not small-b butch (or at least he was within the context of the group), but he's got this whole constructed persona about him that is very defensive and very standoffish and just a little bit evil, but underneath he's actually a total sweetheart who cares about people and wants to see the good in them. This isn't the first time I've met Butch either... he came to at least one other dinner party some time back, but since then he's been all over the world and done some pretty cool things. And he's almost the last person you'd expect that of... or rather, it's the last thing you would expect from the person he used to be.

I also worked out by the end of the night that in certain situations "I'll break your fingers" is his way of saying he likes you (granted I think there are a number of situations where it actually means "I'll break your fingers", but I don't think last night was one of them)... but even while he was saying that he was making sure I had beer (granted, only when he was getting himself beer, and be brought me even after I told me "no more"... but it's the thought)... actually there was just a range of little tiny things, that sound kinda dumb if I try to explain them, but it was their cumulative effect. And yes, I will admit to a little bit of a crush, even before the very end of the night... but just a little one.

Actually (one of these days I think I need to add up the number of times I use "actually" in a blog post... I have a feeling it's excessive), last night was slightly "crush heavy" as far as J's dinner parties go... possibly just because it was a range of new people, and a much larger number of people, I don't know... but I did find myself having a mild twinkle for three of the guys... one of whom was kind of the prettier version of J (which I don't want to think about too much because the concept of crushing on him is a little disturbing)... and the other (with Butch being the third, obviously) being a guy that J is currently "courting" (J's inference, not mine... since they're dating but not yet sleeping together). He's the person who I wish I'd gotten more of a chance to talk to... he's very reserved but exudes this very classy vibe that I liked... plus I think there's a whole Eurasian/Celtic mix going on with him that I would have liked to ask him about... but alas, the opportunity never eventuated.

The night actually broke up very suddenly... J's parents had wandered off, as had his sister, then the first couple of guests took their leave and suddenly it seemed that the winds had changed and everyone was off to Mars (the club, not the planet or the chocolate). Had I known that was where the evening was likely to end up I might have considered going along... but I also don't know what the ratio of dancers to drinkers would have been, and if I was going to go for the first time in about a hundred million years, I fall firmly into the dancer camp... and if most of the rest of them were going to stand around and not dance, what's the point. And yes that is a massive amount of self justification, but it also happens to have a degree of truth to it. The real reason is that I just didn't want to go.

But because I had to drive through town to get home anyway I offered my services as taxi. And I drew the good straw and ended up with J and Butch coming along with me, everyone else that piled into someone else's car. That was nice actually... although I think that J and Butch were both teetering around the very beginnings of that "I luff youze guys" stage, because there was very much Truth being spoken in my car.

When I dropped them off, Butch, who had been in the back seat was extracting himself from the car but leaned over and blew a raspberry on my cheek, and I kind of expected that to be it from him, but he ended up doing this little butterfly kisses thing on my cheek and giving me a big, if awkward and sideways, hug (I couldn't actually hug him back, and I think I was a little startled by it as well) before they tromped off...

And while I admit I had been thinking about it while the "lets go to Mars" idea first hit, I figured that since it was only midnight (or thereabouts) I could still indulge in my backup plan and swing by the sauna...

It turned out to not be a completely stupid idea... although there weren't really that many guys there and that only got worse as we inched closer to closing time, I did have a couple of fairly enjoyable and slightly intense experiences.

Of course, I also ran into Marc right after I got there... but he disappeared within a couple of minutes...

And it was definitely better than standing around a nightclub being prickteased by boys I can't have.

I will admit to being slightly bleary eyed and a touch the worse for wear when I finally surfaced this morning though...

Current Mood:

sunday grafitti and crafts

Collaboration piece between Benzo and Drew "dedicated to Kab101's turtle, Tarquin".

• I ended up taking a trip to the sauna last night... thus defeating Scruff in his nookie preventing efforts, and it was actually a fairly low-key and relaxing way to spend the evening. Only a little bit of action, but it was kinda what I needed I think. Then there was lots of lounging around in the steam room and soaking in the spa and suchlike.


• I also observed, not for the first time, how many really, really nice asses there are walking around, even on guys who aren't that appealing from the front. My ass, in contrast, probably has more in common with a sock full of cottage cheese (thought provoking simile, yes?).


• As I half expected, Marc was there too, which was interesting. I think we can now officially designate the spa as a "danger zone" for potential sexual activity between the two of us. If something is going to happen, it'll happen in there. Granted it's mostly because that's where we spend the longest amount of time together, plus we're both naked.


• It was also somewhat odd watching him make out with somebody else while we were in the spa. There was a twinge of jealousy, but more of a "I want some of that" rather than "that's mine", and it's not like I was excluded from participation.


• He's supposed to call me tomorrow night about coming over for dinner on Tuesday. It's just plain weird really... at certain points he says he'll call, but never does, but when we run into each other he usually makes the effort and actually carries through on contacting me at least once or twice. I'm not holding my breath though.


• Even though the sexual part of my excursion seemed somewhat brief, I still ended up sticking around until nearly 1:30am... maybe because I wasn't chasing around like a rat in a maze all night the time seemed to pass quicker.


• I walked back to the car (and then drove home) accompanied by what definitely felt like a Summer storm... warm weather, big fat raindrops and a sky full of thunder and lightning. Awesome!


• Sadly, all the heat and spa action didn't loosen up my neck like I thought it might. But with any luck Marc will do that for me if/when he comes over on Tuesday (don't be filthy, he's studying massage).


• This morning was remarkably laid back... I didn't really rush anything, especially first thing (which was a good plan, given my somewhat anaemic six hours of sleep), just pottered about doing my usual thing and marvelling that while yesterday was gloriously warm and beautiful and a definite taste of Spring, today was cold and windy and rainy and wintery.


• I started fiddling around with the cross-stitch test piece after lunch, and then rang Ma once I'd done one row to ask "Am I doing this right?". Turns out I wasn't...


• In the course of the conversation she decided to come down and drop a couple of things off, so I suggested that since I'd been planning to go back into town to re-photograph the street art from yesterday (a cloudy day is Mother Nature's soft box and the photographer's friend), she should come with me and we could wander down to the Rundle Street Markets as well.


• Other than the "Turtle Master" piece (or as it should probably more accurately be called, "Ode to Tarquin"... I do suddenly wonder if he was a terrapin rather than a turtle... "Tarquin the Terrapin" has a nicer ring to it) above, I didn't find anything else new... but then I didn't do the full and complete wander like I might have done if I was alone.


• I did see that the Toy Soldier gallery seemed to still be there (although not open) when we drove past it. So that may have to be a field trip.


• The Rundle Street Markets really aren't what they used to be... hell, even as recently as Christmas they seemed much more active. But it was a windy and chilly day, and by the time we got there it was about 3pm, so it was somewhat understandable.


• Jonny's Kettle Corn is amazing and I think I love it. Like it says on the label, it's slightly sweet and slightly salty (I'm guessing they make two different batches and mix them together), and it's made, like the name suggests, in a giant "kettle" (think "kettle drum" rather than what you heat water in) but it's very moreish and much fresher tasting than pretty much any popcorn I've ever had. Because it's not one thing or the other, you don't reach that "urgh" point of too sweet or too salty as much.


• Spiral Potato on a Stick however is just wrong. Take a whole potato, cut it using a fancy cutter thing so that it's a spiral, put it on a stick and deep fry the whole thing (even the stick). Interesting, but no.


• Behold... craft happens!

The madness begins... Phase 1 of my cross-stitch toy soldier.

• It's typical that the one colour of embroidery thread I want is the only one they don't have. And that's three different stores now that haven't carried the 666 red. Grrrr.


• I did get a perfectly sized rectangular hoop, some little scissors and a slightly darker red thread that could work in a pinch.


• Once Ma left, I sat down and started working on my cross-stitch toy soldier properly. I'd been fiddling with it before Ma came down, but now that I had the hoop I kinda hit my groove. Although the difference in the stitches between me working with available light and then afterwards when I started using the lamp out of my bedroom is pretty extreme.


• Sadly, cross-stitch is not something that I can do while concentrating completely on the teevee. In fact, quite the opposite... I found myself concentrating on what I was doing and only listening to the movies I had on.


• Turns out that I've also inspired Ma to go through the many and varied half finished cross-stitch projects she has laying around the place... so that could get scary.


• I did notice that when I lift my arms I'm a little sore... I'm hoping that's from last night rather than from cross-stitch related activities.


• Bless you, Stephen Fry, for finding all the really cute Southern boys to talk to during your trip across America. If they were cute, shirtless or willing to show their asses on camera, you were there.


• Only 46 days until Melbourne... woohoo!


• Is it really Monday again tomorrow? So soon?

Current Mood:

memory lane sauna

Sometimes everything feels like it's very hard work and other times it all just slips into place... computer accessories start working again, you run into people you know.... that kind of things...

Last night, what with it being Valentine's Day and all, I figured I would take myself off to the sauna, get some "V-Day lovin"... which turned out to pretty much be the right plan I think.

When I walked in the door, Marc was just getting his locker key... now, I think I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've had somebody already being served when I get there... but the fact that it was Marc, well, I figured that it either boded well, or alternatively there was a complete and total disaster of an evening in the words...

But we chatted while he was getting served, and then again in the locker room before we went our separate ways.

I wasn't honestly sure which way the night was going to go... Valentine's Day, anybody that didn't have plans (ie was single) but wanted a bit of action, so the joint did seem to be busier than I've seen it in a while, but by the same token there didn't seem to be much going on (that happens sometimes on busy nights, everybody is so distracted because there are so many "choices" there that they never get around to making a decision).

Eventually I found myself back in the steam room... and who should be in there but Marc... I swear though, that boy has NO concept of "correct time and place", and the steam room isn't really the place to get all chatty and giggly. One thing I did notice was that he seemed to be very tactile and flirty... never a bad thing, but he's kind of kept himself at a little bit of a distance since we had The Conversation... so, of course, I wasn't resisting in the least. I did drag him out of the steam room after a while, partially with the thought of some spa time, but also because we'd completely destroyed the mood in the steam room. But he wanted to go off one way, I went off the other with the intention of coming back, but the spa was full of people so I changed by mind and did the "circuit wander".

Fast-forward to a while later and Marc was in the spa all by himself as I went past, so I jumped in to join him. I won't say that I had a definite plan regarding Marc, but I kinda figured I'd "push my luck" and see what happened... turns out that it was a good plan... helped, as I mentioned before, that Marc seemed to be very flirty (actually that was mostly why I HAD the plan).

Anyway, we were rolling around in the spa and chatting and being obnoxious and whatever, and Marc was sitting on my lap, which I will admit was nice, but wasn't actually doing anything FOR me (you know what I mean *waggles eyebrows inappropriately*) and he was avoiding letting me anywhere near his neck (which is pretty much his trigger spot)... but then, for whatever mental reasoning he used, he just turned his head to the side and let me (in his words) "ravish his neck". Suddenly it was just ON... full on, full snoggage, full frontal, you name it, it was full...

It was all somewhat similar to the last time we rolled around in the spa together, but a little more varied...

I did manage to control myself enough not to leave a mark on his neck (since he's more about the mouth action than the biting/marking)... he, on the other hand, had no such control issues, so I'm sporting a rather nice little mark where my shoulder and neck meet (which I have no problem with at all).

I have no idea how long we were rolling around during the playtime portion of the spa, but it was quite a while, and honestly, what with all the kissing action and just general stress relief, it was just what I was in need of.

Once we were finished though, everything got a tiny bit nostalgic...

Marc was still sitting on my lap when we were joined in the spa by somebody else (actually we'd been joined a few times, but we'd either "scared" them off or they'd just left for whatever reason)... and I didn't recognise him at first, but Marc launched himself across the spa to give this guy a hello hug and I realised that it was Seb. Seb and I used to be, well I'm not sure "friends" is the right word... "acquaintances and occasional fuckbuddies who spent a fair amount of time with each other" is probably more accurate, if a little wordy. Seb is also the person I went to Maslin's (the nude beach) with (the only person I've ever been to Maslin's with actually). And we had something of a falling out, nothing explicit, but we just stopped talking to each other, and I don't think we've spoken until he got in the spa.

Anyway, Seb and Marc and I were all chatting, and then Ginger Bear came up to the side of the spa and was talking to Marc (because Marc is quite literally one of those people who just knows EVERYBODY, so seems to anyway). And Ginger Bear is somebody that I had a tiny little fling with once upon a time... memorable, but I've had pizzas that lasted longer... so suddenly the spa was starting to look like I was being haunted by the Ghosts of Hookups Past... and then Ginger Bear wandered away... but he came back and joined us in the spa, and it really was Nostalgia City (although I'm pretty sure that Marc had "had" everybody in the spa too, but I might have to ask him about that... I don't think that Seb and GB had done the wild monkey with each other, but I could be wrong).

So we just chatted and Marc flitted between the three of us for a bit, then got out of the spa, but me and Seb and GB just sat around chatting about clothes and kitchen gadgets and pool cleaning and getting locked out (of the place you're housesitting) while you're naked (Seb really isn't a shy boy, for all that he doesn't have a lot to show off)... until eventually I was being crowded out by these two far less interesting daddy-types that had joined us in the spa, so once I made the move to get out (which was something of a struggle once gravity took hold of me again... less fun after floating around in the water for about an hour) the other two joined me.

And because this is the way these things go, Marc happened past just as we were getting out, and he was calling it a night, so I figured I might as well split too and after all four of us stood around gasbagging in the locker room for a while, and then Marc and I did some random chatting and low level flirting with the guy working the reception desk, we headed off into the night (and opposing directions).

So I'd say that was a pretty good result for Valentine's Day, wouldn't you?

Current Mood:

socially uncomfortable sauna

I've been hitting the sauna on and off (and probably more off overall) for about the last ten years... and whereas once upon a time I would have never expected to run into the same faces over and over again, let alone run into people I actually knew, let alone people I knew from my life that has nothing to do with the sauna...

I mean running into the same people time after time is alternatively somewhat boring and occasionally frustrating... and running into past sexual conquests (either from inside or outside of the sauna) is probably to be expected given the size of Adelaide...

But running into people you know superficially from the outside world is one thing... but running into somebody who used to be one of your very close social circle is another beasty completely (and one we'll refer to as Stallion, for a number of reasons, not all of them the obvious ones)... especially when he's there with his boyfriend...

Now there are situations under which I would have stopped and said hello... wearing a towel is not one of them. So, basically, I hid. I actually thought about leaving, but figured that if I hung around mostly the "dark" areas I would probably be able to avoid Stallion.

Which mostly worked out okay... except when I realised later that one of the guys I kept passing in the halls upstairs was actually The Boyfriend... but I only ever really knew him peripherally, and if it was dark enough that I didn't recognise him, there's no way he recognised me.

There were a couple of near misses though... and I'm not sure whether Stallion was also playing the "pretend we don't see you" game, or if I just didn't feature on the radar enough for him to even see me let alone realise who I was.

One of the near misses was equal parts blessing and curse... I'd kinda gotten bored with mostly hiding, so I was headed past the showers to the steam room, glanced at the body of the guy in the outermost shower, only to realise that it was Stallion, in the process of wrapping a towel around himself.

Oddly enough, I actually have no memory of how naked the back of him was (and if I did see his butt I didn't realise it was him at the time so I wasn't paying attention)... but I know that I didn't see anything else (like his namesake), but what I'm not sure about is if I could have done if I'd turned my head slightly at the right moment... and I'm also not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I didn't see "anything". I'm a visual creature, I like to look... and I'm a hoarder, I like to collect things, including visual memories... but what I would have done with that particular visual memory once I had it, I don't know.

Part of me isn't sure I should actually have bothered going... I mean, I've been in this whole "non horny" groove for a while now (probably since my last sauna excursion... which would make it officially two months)... but then there's that whole erection metaphor for Spring, and yesterday was really warm and sunny, and while my body wasn't making any demands on me, my brain was thinking it would be a good idea... stoopid brain...

The point where I officially called it a night though was while threading my way through the maze of rooms upstairs, I turned a very dark corner and there they were, literally right in front of me... they then proceeded to detour off into one of the rooms (I'm not sure there was actually any other choice) and locked the door.

And there are times at the sauna where you don't necessarily want to hear people in adjoining areas doing the Horizontal Polka, but do... and there are times when you maybe DO want to hear them, but can't really and know you shouldn't be listening anyway... guess which case this one was...

On the upside, at least I didn't have Marc to deal with on top of all that...

Current Mood:

sauna session dot points

I wasn't completely sure that I was going to bother with this post... but here it is, so obviously I changed my mind eventually...

And then it seemed like the Universe was going to throw things in my way... first an inexplicable desire to tidy the house when I first got up... then a knock on the door at 8am from some council workers who wanted to saw bits off the trees out the front and were wondering if any of the cars out there were mine (sadly no... and when one of them asked if any of my neighbours were "crazy", I had to stop and think about it)... then my interwebski connection dropped out and when I reconnected it wouldn't do anything (turned out there was a dialog box sitting in the background that was screwing things up)... and of course, now I'm telling the story about why I wasn't telling the story and that's chewing up time too...

So it really doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out, what with the post title and the graphic, that I went to the sauna last night... and I did something I probably should have done a while back (at least from a financial perspective), and bought a 12 month membership... which is kind of good and bad... good because it was only about $6 more than a normal visit and it means I get cheaper entry, plus every tenth visit is free... bad because to make full use out of it I would have to go once a month (and therefore getting a free visit), and I might be tempted to go more often because it's cheaper and whatnot... but really, what the hell, it's done now...

I don't really have a big long story to tell, but there were a few little points I wanted to mention (hence the post title)...

• Wearing leather pants at the sauna is one thing (it's a little weird, but I can forgive that, provided you don't go anywhere near the wet areas)... but wearing leather pants and carrying a backpack around all night filled with god knows what... not sexy, but creepy...
• Having a somewhat thick appendage and trying to ram it in with little or no lube... not sexy, but annoying (as I've always said, you can never have too much lube)...
• Giving out all the signals but then not being able to produce a boner, or only half of one when push comes to shove (as it were)... not sexy, but pointless...
• Being stuck in the late 70's or early 80's with big, bad, scary Elvis meets a football helmet hair and having a towel that's folded in half so it's basically a micro mini... not sexy, but tragic...
• Having a conversation about The Wizard of Oz and watching it while both dressed in towels... not sexy, but kind of surreal and interesting...
  
• Going underwater in the spa for a reasonable period of time to give some oral lovin'... impressive, but maybe not wise (actually it was doubly impressive because the guy was quite cute... but unfortunately because I was only there at the time, not a participant in the threeway)...
• Dudes who look like they would be arrogant and somewhat bitchy turning out to be in one case a couple of clowns short of a circus (actually there was a LOT of that going on last night) or else total and complete sluts (which, you know, is less of a bad thing)...
• Or, on the flip side, dudes who look very, very familiar and who you just can't place... but is just the regular kind of annoying...
  

And then there's Marc... annoying, pointless, slutty, occasionally tragic, but still unfortunately sexy Marc... that boy does my head in, I swear... first off is his habit of calling out to me across the room, I mean, seriously, the place isn't THAT big... come and find me dammit... then there's the fact that he says "I'll call you" or something similar, and then nothing...

But supposedly we're having coffee or something on Wednesday... and I kinda want to quiz him on a couple of things... I remember very clearly back when we had the playdate here that there were certain things he just didn't do... and yet, I "caught" him (you can't really be said to have caught somebody doing something when they're in a room with a door that does actually lock, but they haven't locked said door or even closed it properly) doing that very thing. So maybe he's relaxed that particular taboo... of course, my default mental state just says that he was lying to me, but then my default mental state is a highly suspicious and slightly paranoid fellow.

Part of what annoys me, not about Marc, just about the whole sauna concept in general, is that there really isn't what you would call "an okay night"... you either have an amazing time, or it's fucking awful... no middle ground... or at least, not for me...

Current Mood:

below average sauna adventures

Unlike certain people who visited the sauna in the last couple of days, my visit last night was slightly less satisfying...

Part of me was kind of expecting it to be bad (I mean, last time was pretty spectacular)... and partially it was because the place was fairly deserted (really, really deserted at one stage actually).

But it was slightly interesting and a touch "informative"... well, perhaps not informative exactly... there were a number of guys there that I recognised from "online", one of whom looked as, if not more spectacular than his pics (doubly so when he was being jacked off by a quite cute guy across the spa from me)... one of the others much less so (seriously dude, go back to the dark hair... the bleached blonde with the very pale skin and too many questionable tattoos... not that attractive)...

Then, as I fully expected, Marc was there... he's the only person I know who will call out your name from the other side of the room at the sauna... silly little Hobbit...

I don't get him. Really. He's always pleased to see me, he sought me out and wanted to have a conversation once he'd seen me... but I haven't actually heard from him since I sent him a text message after my knee drama. Now you would think that no matter how "busy" you were, if somebody that you say you consider to be a friend lets you know that they've injured themselves in some way, well, you'd at least touch base with them and see what the hell was going on... wouldn't you? But I get nothing... and then he's all Chatty Cathy when I do see him. What the fuck?

And since we had that whole "what are the rules" conversation, I didn't even get to jump him. Although I will be honest, while I possibly would have (and it would have been nice to be able to since we were in the spa at the same time as the aforementioned spa jackoff action), by that point of the evening I'd kind of settled in to the night being something of a waste of time, so I wasn't necessarily in the right headspace anyway.

On the upside, I think the heat of the steamroom and the spa did my knee some good... so at least there actually is a silver lining...

Current Mood:

surprisingly good sauna adventures

Sometimes there are good days to go to the sauna... sometimes there are very, very bad days to go to the sauna (which usually don't end up getting blogged about)... fortunately last night was very much one of the former...

I also figured that since it was Earth Hour last night, that shutting down all my electronic equipment (well, turning it off anyway) and leaving all my lights off while I was out was a good plan too... go and use somebody else's electricity, where the lights are only really on in selected areas anyway, and who would be using the power anyway... yeah, I know... it really didn't have a damn thing to do with my decision, but since I was going out anyway and since I wasn't sure I could be bothered with the whole Earth Hour thing, I figured I just wouldn't put any lights on...

But anyway, back to the fun stuff...

When I got to the sauna, there was a sign I only half read on the inner door saying something about the steam room being closed... and because I didn't read it properly, and then, when I went down towards the steam room and saw one of the guys shooing everybody out, turning on the lights and (I think) scrubbing it all down, I wasn't overly optimistic... partly because I've never seen them actually do that before... at least not while people are there anyway... yeah, they do a clean up circuit looking for condoms and wrappers or whatever, but not the whole scrubbing thing.

And of course, I also had a momentary freak out because one of the people that was being shooed out of the steam room was Marc (last seen at Marion in February waving at me like a crazy person)... well, obviously it did have to happen at some point... but the combination of factors just made me turn on my heels and walk back the other way.

It did turn out that the steam room was going to be closed from, I think, 9pm on Sunday until Tuesday... which was good, because it did factor quite often and quite happily in the rest of the evening.

Just before I continue on with the fun stuff... I need to mention something... there was a guy there last night... probably late twenties, perhaps early thirties, pretty good body, seemingly had everything in the right places, but he was acting so strangely and so "weaselly" that it was actually had not to laugh at him. For a starters he was wearing a bandanna and some sort of sandals, added to the fact he never took his towel off... okay, the towel thing isn't that rare, and maybe he had him some toe fungus so the sandals were a good idea, but honestly, between those and the bandanna he was just an instantly recognisable shape no matter where he went... as was the fact that he kept partially covering his face as he was running around. Maybe he was a straight guy in massive amounts of denial (although if so I'm not sure what the hell he was worried about, everybody in there is there for the same reasons, so it's not like anybody is going to out him... I wouldn't think anyway)... but again, all the peeking and the face hiding and whatever else he was doing was just drawing attention to himself. He also did a lot of crouching and sitting in weird weaselly positions, legs tucked up under him, usually near anybody who was getting busy in the steam room, and then suddenly he would be up and gone out the door...

I actually first ran into him in the antechamber (I love that word) for the dry steam room... I'd taken up a spot while the wet steam room was out of commission, he sat down and seemed to be doing the "across the room genital semaphore signals" that show that you're good for approach... legs up on the bench next to him, spread open, hand all busylike... so approach I did... and... nothing...

Weird, weird, weird little man...

Anyway...

Eventually the steam room was opened up again, so I wandered in there and kinda sat watching a show that, I think, was already in progress... or else started not long after I'd sat down. For the record (and I think I've probably said it before), darkness plus steamy room plus me not having my glasses on usually leads to not only me not being able to see very far very clearly, but sometimes me either thinking somebody is somebody else, or whatever...

So I'm watching the guy at the centre of what seems to be a three ring circus where he's the main event, and I thought... "Hmmmm, he looks a little bit like Puggle! But if that is Puggle, then Puggle is way more of a slut, in a good way of course, than I would have ever thought!"...

And after watching for a while, I moved position, got closer to where I could actually see the Possible Puggle in action... turns out that yes indeed, it WAS Puggle...

Puggle was a guy I knew through a friend of a friend years and years and years and years and years ago (when I first came out)... Puggle always seemed to be this shy, quiet, skinny little guy, who was incredibly cute, but seemed a little reserved.

Oh how the years have changed you Puggle!

He's still skinny and little (about 5'9" I think... and pretty much the physical type that makes me fall to my knees and weep... skinny but toned, and tiny enough to throw around like a rag doll if I so chose)... but he wasn't the shy guy I remember.

He did seem to be very "open" about his choice in partners... so when one of the guys moved away and was no longer "manning his post" to coin a phrase, I figured I would move in and see what happened. The worse I was going to get was pushed away, but if I hadn't tried I would have wondered for the rest of the night.

Thank all the little gods and goddesses that I did... P. L. A. Y. T. I. M. E! I'll say this for Puggle... not only does he have an impressive and beautiful "post", but damn the boy can kiss. I even ended up with him on my lap at one point (while the other end of him was occupied), and could pretty much wrap my arms totally around his waist, and almost touch my own chest again... *sigh*...

I really should have asked him to go upstairs with me (well, I did, but I didn't phrase it the right way)... but even though I had to "share" him, it was completely worth the price of admission...

Seriously, if that had been all that happened last night, I would have been reasonably okay with it... okay maybe a little frustrated by the end of the night, but still...

I saw him dive into the pool later, and swim around... he even looked incredibly sexy doing that... he just stepped off the side of the pool into the deep water and disappeared beneath the surface, then he was swimming underwater and I happened to catch a brief glimpse of when he tiny, perfect little butt broke the surface before he disappeared down again... yum!

And yes, I know that all of you who followed the seemingly neverending disaster that was my previous interactions with Marc are going "Yes, that's lovely... but what the hell happened with MARC!"...

This is what happened...

I'd just done a circuit upstairs (I think) and was headed downstairs (or vice versa, it doesn't really matter)... and who should be coming up the stairs, but Marc... no way to avoid or run or hide... I was trapped like Bambi on the Interstate...

Which was actually fine... we said hello and ended up going downstairs to find somewhere to have a little chat... we ended up propping up the pool table for a while (well, okay, I was... mostly because I'd not long finished with Puggle and I had a serious case of "Jelly Legs"), then we ended up moving to the big teevee room and took up far too much space and had a good long natter.

Turns out (according to what he tells me anyway) that he wasn't sure what I wanted when last we parted... so he didn't contact me, and then he thought about, saw me online a few times, but never did anything about it... which was pretty much what I'd eventually done... figured if he was interested, he'd contact me... so we'd both thought ourselves into a corner and nobody did anything about anything... ahhhh, men, gotta love them...

Add to the fact that he got my name wrong... silly rabbit... although interestingly, what he ended up calling me is actually Ludo's real name... and I wasn't overly insulted.

While we were chatting, this reasonably young (20-21, something like that), really skinny, really tall, REALLY hung (like scary, half way down his leg soft... kinda like a babies arm holding an apple kind of hung... and it was very obvious because he basically took off his towel and was showing everybody in the room that he was pretty much a tripod), fairly cute in a "dumb as a box of rubber puppies" kind of way (my usual like is "dumb as a box of rubber hammers", but while we were out shopping yesterday it became "dumb as a box of puppies" for some reason... then last night it morphed into "dumb as a box of rubber puppies") guy came into the room... and I will admit, because he was flashing the room his giant lunchbox, I turned my complete attention on him (and he was actually slightly behind me on the left) until he finally sat down... and Marc whispered something to be about "go for it"... to which I made that "yeah, in a pink fit" face at him (as a brief side note, Marc just finds me hysterically funny... and half the time it's not even like I'm trying), and he pointed out that Rubber Puppy didn't seem to be overly discriminating with his choices of "dates" throughout the evening, and I should go for it anyway.

And given the events of the evening thus far, I figured that if it was ever possible, it was possible then and there...

But I never seemed to be in the right place at the right time with him... and the more I watched him, the more I realised that he was going for a very particular type... the Big Hairy Daddy... now, I may be a lot of things, but Hairy Daddy, I am not... firstly, not hairy... secondly, waaaaaay too young to be anybody's Daddy (yet... *grin*)...

It was interesting to watch him wandering around though... at one point he was "holding court" (although I'm not sure that he knew that's what he was doing, or was even doing it intentionally) with five or six Daddies in the teevee room with the pool table...

What I didn't realise until this morning was that Rubber Puppy was actually Young & Pretty from a while back... which makes more sense now...

Anyway, putting aside the things I couldn't have... Marc and I chatted for a bit longer, then he went for a wander (I hung around checking out Rubber Puppy until it seemed like a lost cause, then went on my own wander, complete with interesting but not overly noteworthy pitstops), we ran into each other a couple of other times and I made a point of telling him I was going to drag him off into a dark corner at some stage, which he rather coltishly avoided making either a confirmation or a refusal of... then I went back into the steam room at some later stage (again... dark, steam, blind), looked at the three guys all arranged on the long section of the bench, thought the one at the far end looked fairly hot... shortly after which, he moved... and yes, you got it... Marc.... *grin*.

He had his hand full (well, as it turned out... not FULL... but occupied) and I just sat there watching him for a while... it was a good view, it was nice to watch him "work", I didn't feel any twinges of "why isn't that me" or "I want that"... but I did figure that he probably wasn't going to chase me away if I joined in... so I did. I don't know what the other party thought about it... but he didn't push me away either (actually he didn't seem to have much of any expression on his face the whole time), so I hung around for a bit... then took my leave at what seemed to be the appropriate moment.

Marc had actually mentioned, when I said about the dark corner, something about me being "rough"... to which I replied that I could be very, very, very gentle (this from the guy who started off the post-orgasm wrestling match when he was here)... and made sure that I was as gentle as possible with him, to prove my point if nothing else.

Anyway, we ran into each other again shortly after (which is interesting, because you can actually go for hours and hours without bumping into people in that place... but there we were bumping into each other every half an hour or so)... and were again trying to find somewhere to have a little chat... so I suggested the spa, we'd both be naked, close physical contact (if I had anything to say about it), some degree of privacy... we ended up being in there for at least three bubble cycles... I'm not sure how long the cycles last... you press a button, the spa goes all spa-ey, eventually it stops, you press the button again, it restarts... we were in there for three, nearly four cycles... so I'd say somewhere between forty minutes and an hour...

First we chatted, then we wrestled a bit and messed about, then I carried him over to the opposite side of the spa and started on the kissing... and HOLY DAMN the boy can kiss... if I was going to add to the list of memorable kisses... this whole session would be up there... okay, maybe it wasn't "memorable" in the same way... but damn it was good.

The only downside was that I was pretty much on my knees the whole time, and once the frottage started, well, it was occasionally less comfortable from a knee perspective (and, I'll be honest, when you're rubbing certain body parts between flesh and a molded plastic seat section of a spa, you just have to be glad that there is water involved, otherwise it could have been painful).

It was enjoyable though... very, VERY enjoyable in fact... and it wasn't even like we jumped right out after that... we just sat around some more... I rediscovered (or just discovered, although I don't actually remember being aware of it before) that he has a major thing about the nape of his neck being licked and sucked (not bitten though, that's my thing), although whether that's actually a sexual thing or more of a "I really need a massage, but I don't know it" thing, I'm not sure.

After a bit more floating around and making more comments on Rubber Puppy and his body language as he tried to pick up another Old Daddy (not so hairy this time, just old)... and the fact that Marc hasn't ever watched the body language of people around the sauna (which just boggles my mind, because the place is RIFE with body language... good, bad and indifferent... and I would have thought that he would totally be the kind of person who would pay attention to that stuff)... he finally declared that the spa was now officially "too cold" for him and went off to warm up. I stayed put for a little bit longer until the bubble cycle finished, then hopped out, put the cycle back on for the guy who was still in there, and went on a wander of my own.

I just couldn't get interested in anything or anybody though... Rubber Puppy was a lost cause... there was a very "scene" gayboy (blonde streaks, cute little body, just the kind of boy you'd expect to see waving his arms over his head at a gay nightclub) wandering around, but he was kind of keeping to the fringes of things... and so I just ended up sitting in the little alcove upstairs watching the exact same piece of porno footage with one of the Bel Ami boys humping the pole leading into the swimming pool that I ended up watching the second time I saw Marc...

And of course, just after the scene changed he wandered past... and I told him I was probably going to scram shortly thereafter since I was kinda over it, and it wasn't far off midnight either. He made promises to call me (since, unlike me, he never deleted my number from his phone), so we'll see what, if anything, happens there...

I stayed put for a while, caught the eye of a cutish guy with a not overly dissimilar build from my own briefly, thought about following him... kind of wandered downstairs, saw he was in the spa, couldn't really face another round in the spa, so just wandered around a bit downstairs, then ended up back in there again with him. I wasn't completely sure to be honest... a little bit like me, his face didn't really reflect his body shape that much (ala thin boys with fat heads, fat boys with skinny faces, etc), and I wasn't sure it was him... we played the "look, catch your eye, look away, half smile, look, catch your eye..." game for a bit... and I took it up a notch to the "watch you until you look at me" game... to which I got a smile, and then a headshake... I wasn't sure about it at first... then he did it again, so I figured that a) it wasn't the guy I thought it was, and b) he was all about the mixed signals. So I did what any self respecting mental patient would have done, and poked my tongue out at him, then proceeded to pretty much ignore him the rest of the time I was in there.

But of course the Universe was playing games with me, and when I eventually hopped out, I picked up his towel instead of mine (they'd both originally been hanging on the hooks, but mine fell down, and his didn't), and when I realised it was red, not black, I went back and apologised to him and took my own towel... to which I got this strange headbob/nod/smile combo thing that was just odd. A little bit "stuck up bitch snob" really... but at the same time not... weird. That was his general vibe all over really... a little bit stuck up bitch, a little bit not...

Anyway, that was the point when I decided to call it a night... so I got changed, went to dump my towel (although, right now, while I'm thinking about it, I don't actually remember dumping my towel, just returning my key... so maybe I didn't), and who should be standing there, getting a new towel and showing off a long, lean, naked length of thigh and a glimpse of donkeycock as he rewrapped himself... yep... Rubber Puppy... so that was the very last thing I saw before I left...

We'll also have to see how the rest of today pans out... in theory I may have a "date" tonight... and the guy just happens to have a spa out on the balcony of his city apartment... so this could end up being one of those "slutty" weekends... that is if he doesn't turn out to be a complete and total timewasting flake...

I'll keep you posted...

Current Mood:

ill timed sauna adventures

You know those days when you couldn't organise a metaphor about something easy while standing in a metaphor factory... that would be today...

My timing was just shithouse today... or my horoscope was misaligned... or my karma was out of whack... or SOMETHING!

Actually, I know what it was... it's Daylight Savings... yup *nods head*... has to be... anything that goes wrong for the next few days or so... Daylight Saving's fault...

Anyway, I took myself off to the sauna this afternoon... it's the last Sunday of the month, so that means it was Bears in the Mist day... but I have to say... Bears in the Mist... deader than dead... in fact approaching undeadness... so dead it's coming back the other way.

Sorry, I think I scrambled my brains with all the heat, cool, wander, heat, cool, wander I did this afternoon...

It all started well... it ended pretty well (mostly because I figured that the encounter at the end was as good a time to call it a day as any... although there were other influences)... but everything in the middle was just dead or shitty... the beginning and end were somewhat unexpected encounters though I have to say... had you lined all the possible options up and asked me to choose who was the most likely, I would never have chosen those particular two guys. Not that it was bad in either case... just unexpected.

But the parts inbetween those two events that weren't dead were a whole world of "Old Homo Week"... everywhere I turned there seemed to be somebody I knew, or have known in the biblical sense...

Firstly there was the guy I've mentioned before with the tribal tattoo on one arm and the elephant tattoo on the other... who, although I didn't realise it at the time, put on a little show with somebody else I've been Biblical with in the steam room (just the two of them doing the do and me watching... possibly I could have joined in, but they seemed to be more interested in each other than any outside interference or assistance)... who I picked up at one of the few Bear Den Nights I went to. And when I saw them outside of the steam room they were both talking to a guy that I'm SURE I used to know (but we're talking yeeeeears ago, not long after I'd moved out of home)... although I now know him more from his online profiles than in person. Then there was Hot Sweaty Monkey Sex Guy from about a million billion years ago (okay, sometime within the last, say, eight years)... so called for fairly obvious reasons, but also because I kinda threw him around like a rag doll and I don't think we said more than two words to each other the whole time he was here... I couldn't throw him around like that now though, since he's, well, spread out a bit... but then who hasn't... didn't look that bad on him actually.

There were also a couple of other guys who looked familiar although I couldn't place them... possibly I just know them from their Gaydar profiles... I dunno (hello, welcome to Adelaide, home of Two Degrees of Kevin Bacon). But speaking of Gaydar profiles, there was a guy there I've seen online in various places who was actually part of the whole "crappy timing" thing, but I'll get to that in a second.

The final nail in the "Hey, I know you" coffin came towards the end of my visit, and to be honest, was the other part of the reason I figured it was time to go. I was sitting in the spa and caught a glimpse of one of the guys as he went past... and he looked familiar, then he came back and sat down nearby. Turned out to be Fox... I'd recognise his profile (that would be his face in profile, not his internet profile) anywhere... even dimly lit, at a distance and without my glasses. He hadn't recognised me, but that was understandable, since I was lacking glasses and my hair was wet... and I did consider just making a run for it without saying hello, but I figured that would be the chickenshit way out, so I said hi, we had a brief little chat and then I made a run for it. Only to see somebody else I'd had a thing with in the locker room when I got in there. But he's working at the sauna on and off now, so that one wasn't that surprising.

There may have been others... but nobody springs to mind right this second.

Then I had to deal with the fact that Ma was having a panic attack and had called me five times during the afternoon... well, eight actually... five when I actually looked at the phone, then she called twice more, which I killed because I was still inside, then she called a final time once I got outside into the "smoking" area (and, because the Universe is evil, Hot Sweaty Monkey Sex Guy was also out there talking to somebody on his mobile at the time too... except waaaay down the other end). She'd managed to work herself up to a full on tizzy because she'd called me an hour and a half before and I hadn't called her back... according to her she was about to get in the car to drive down to my place to make sure I wasn't dead... freakin drama queen woman. And all because she'd seen something in the video store and wanted to ask me if we wanted it. I'm just glad I decided to check my phone at some point during the afternoon (mostly to check the time, which, because she was all overexcited, I actually forgot to do and had to go back afterwards and have another look), because I didn't trust that they'd remembered to put the clocks at the sauna forward an hour. And of course I couldn't tell her WHY I hadn't answered the phone, so I ended up making a vague reference to being "out". I don't know why TODAY she had to have a freakout... but then that would be that timing thing again, wouldn't it.

Like I said earlier, today was all about my timing being shot to hell...

If I'm being honest it was all just one long exercise in frustration, because I never quite seemed to be in the right place at the right time. To be honest it may have been the case that even if I had been in the right place at the right time it wouldn't have done me any good... but you always assume that it's going to go your way in those situations don't you.

The premium example of that was the guy I mentioned earlier... although I don't know if my interpretation of the events and situation is actually the correct one, since I'm just filling in the blanks and drawing my own conclusions... and we know how well that usually works... The guy in question, although it sounds mean to say, isn't a good look... he just isn't... but at some point he managed to "collect" the youngest, prettiest, thinnest and smoothest (we're talking shaved from the neck down basically) guy. I don't know if they turned up together (and were actually "together" as well), or if he'd just befriended this guy or what the hell the deal was, but it was one of those "I wish that was me" moments... originally I was going to say "that should have been me", but I know that whatever the nature of the relationship between Young & Pretty and Big & Ugly actually is, I'm still just plain jealous... well, unless it turns out that B&U isn't getting into Y&P's pants and it's just an exercise in sexual frustration... those I can do all on my own.

To be honest I actually did some thinking about other random stuff while I was wandering about the sauna aimlessly... the first of which was that I don't often say how something made me FEEL when I blog... I say what happened but I don't know that I always say what I was feeling about it. Or maybe I do and I don't realise it... but the thought process that I had kind of told me that I didn't. I'm not promising I'll completely change my style of blogging, but I want to try and include more of the feeling and thought process if and when I remember.

The other thought process probably took place because I was sitting somewhere I've had the exact same thought process on previous occasions. I was sitting in the spa just watching the bubbles swirling though my hand and just wanted to be writing again. Not writing like this... but, you know... writing writing. On at least two previous occasions sitting in the spa at a sauna (I remember one instance at 431 and one at the other sauna we used to have) has triggered off story ideas... not that you would know it from the finished products... but they did. Although, to be honest, sitting here right now I kind of know why I don't write much beyond this blog anymore... well, other than the fact I ran out of ideas a while back... but I just don't get peace and quiet... well I do... but just not enough of it. But if I follow that thought to it's logical conclusion I'll start off on a whole other rant that everybody has heard before, so we won't go there.

At some point later on I might have to dig out at least the one finished story and have a look at it. Who knows.

So yeah... all in all I'm not quite sure HOW I feel about the events of this afternoon... I think maybe we might thumb through our Word of the Day calendar until we find the word "conflicted"... or maybe "confused"... words beginning with "con" anyway...

Current Mood:

unexpected sauna adventures

Okay... that SO didn't work out the way I thought it was going to...

I should probably have left this until tomorrow... by which I mean later today... you know... when it's light o'clock outside again... but I think I need to get it all out of my brain first.

So obviously, I went to the sauna again tonight...

And you know how I've said on previous occasions that if the Universe ever doesn't give me a carpark right where I want it, then I'm going to give up and go home... well, the Universe was screaming it at me tonight... there weren't any readily available carparks... well that's not totally true, there were two people headed back to their car just as I arrived, but it took them the entire time it took me to go around the very big block to get their acts together and get out of there...

Then, when I walked into the place, the guy behind the counter was off cleaning, and there was a sign on the window saying he'd be back in five minutes. Luckily it only turned out to be maybe a minute or two... but still...

Now I know sometimes I miss the signals (to the point of needing to have a house dropped on me Wicked Witch style before I pay attention)... but the Universe was SCREAMING at me to go home... or maybe not actually... it might have been seeing if I was going to chicken out at the first sign of trouble, because it had something strange and new to throw at me.

Trixy bastardry Universe...

Anyway... once I was in there, the theme continued... the place seemed pretty much DESERTED... but that can change in the space of ten minutes, so I let my eyes accustom to the light or lack of same, then did a wander around... blah, blah, blah...

And it did pick up... suddenly either a bunch of people arrived... or the ones who were already there all finished who/what they were doing and were all out on the prowl again, I dunno...

I was in the steam room at one point and it was a little crowded.... and there were the most INTERESTING noises coming from the far corner... somebody... no, actually, two somebodies (at least) were enjoying themselves very much... which nearly made me laugh... because the two voices could not have been more different... one very butch and gruff, and one a little high and girly... and the high and girly one, had if I had happened to have an Oscar for Best Dramatic Performance by an Actress on my person at the time, he would totally have won it. He was enjoying himself and didn't care who knew.

The crowd thinned out some, and I found a spare bit of bench... I was determined to see who the hell had been making all the noise. I'm still not completely sure who the butch noisemaker was... a couple of guys left within quick succession of each other, so it could have been either... but the other voice, that was a different story.

As he headed past me towards the exit, he looked me square in the face. Which wouldn't be that odd, except for two things... firstly, that almost never happens, if you do look, you do it with just eyes, not your whole head... secondly, as he did it he either stopped dead in his tracks for a second or else tripped or something, I don't know... but there was a total pause in there.

He was cute too... young, skinny, cute... but I didn't give it a second thought really... maybe he thought he recognised me... that actually has happened before... guy swore black and blue that he knew me, and that I was from some random country town... which, of course, I'm not, and wouldn't believe me when I told him.

Anyway... later on, I was in the steam room again and a guy came and sat on the upper benches near me... which wouldn't have been that odd, but he was sort of angling his body towards me... so we did the look, look away, look, look away thing... it's stupid and juvenile, but it's what happens. Next thing I know, he's sliding over towards me... and it's Mr Screamer from earlier (which I'm not sure I realised until the noises started).

And he's much cuter than I'd originally thought... I'd almost go as far as gorgeous... dark haired, short (although I didn't really find that out until later), smooth (well, except for this cute little chin goatee thing) and maybe very early 20's if I'm lucky (the whole 18-20 range wouldn't be totally out of the question I don't think)... not unlike the guy in the picture up the top there... maybe not so abtastic... but, not that far outside the ballpark. So I'm kind of waiting for the whole Candid Camera thing, somebody to jump out and yell "SURPRISE" or him to run away, or something... because it just threw me... it's not, as they say, usual.

So we play, everything's nice... he's VERY enthusiastic and noisy again... which, of course, brings in all the other carnivores, and I have to shoo a couple of wandering hands off him... MINE DAMMIT! And after a bit he leans over and says that he needs to get out of the steamroom because it's too hot for him... which is totally understandable since he's still sitting on the upper level... plus, you know... carnivores... so I take a chance and ask him if he wants me to come with him... and he says yes. Surprise number two!

He then suggest that we go over into the dry sauna room to "dry off"... which is a little weird, because I always find that room HOTTER than the steam room... but at this point, I'm willing to follow his shapely little ass WHEREVER he wants to lead me.

Oh, and he held the fountain tap for me so I could grab a drink after he'd had one... awwwww... bless. Yeah, I know... lame... but it was sweet.

Anyway, we hit the dry room... and there's some very nice snoggage... very, very nice. But the carnivores have either followed us across or else totally new ones have seen us and followed us in. Plus it's fuckin' hot in there. So I whisper to him "I'm taking you upstairs"... which just seemed the right thing at the time... and he's up for it... so up we go.

And more fun times were had once we found ourselves a room (even though he apologised at one point because he was really exhausted... not that I really minded hehehe)... it's always nice when you're with a vocal partner and you know other people can hear you, and you know that you're the reason for that noise... or is that just me?

We played around for a while, then he said he really needed a rest, and I suggested we just hang out in the room for a while, which seemed like the best plan to me... and him as it turns out... but alas, the whole "rest" thing didn't last so long (he started it, I swear!)... and eventually he said he REALLY needed to go downstairs and chill out.

I figured I'd already gotten this far by asking for what I wanted, so I asked him if I gave him my number, would he call me... see, not just asking if I can give him my number, but if there's really any point in doing so. And I was fully prepared for a "no"... I mean, what happens at the sauna stays at the sauna... oh, crap, I broke that rule didn't I... well, shit...

Where was I? Oh yeah, I asked if he would call me...

I think his exact reply was "definitely"... which is much better in my book than "yeah sure", so I went downstairs with him and wrote down my mobile number on one of the handy pieces of scrap paper they keep for just such purposes. I didn't ask for his number (or name come to think of it), I figured it gave me a perfect out... if he calls, he calls... if not, I've got nothing I can obsess over. Please don't let me find that he has a Gaydar profile like the last time I did the phone number thing at the sauna... *crosses fingers*

Do I want him to call? Oh hell yes! Do I think he's going to call? Actually I'm kind of in two minds about that... he seemed very definite that he would... but for all I know he could have detoured around to the lounge area and thrown my number away seconds after I gave it to him. So I'm not going to obsess one way or the other... actually I might just presume he's not going to call... so that if he does it's a nice surprise... how about that? Let's see if that works...

Now for the other reason that the night turned out a little differently... after I parted company with Mr Screamer (oh lord, I'm going to need a better nickname for him if he does call) and had done a quick lap around the place to no avail I stuck my head into the lounge area where there's a BIG ASS projection screen teevee... seriously... I think it's the size of my living room wall... maybe bigger... and there was an episode of Gimme Gimme Gimme playing...

How to explain the depravity that is Gimme Gimme Gimme... think the evil, skanky, lowbrow, English lovechild of Ab Fab and Will and Grace circa 2000... it's highly tasteless, but had some very funny moments in it. Anyway, I assumed that the ABC in their infinite wisdom had started playing it again on a Saturday night (which is where I first saw it many, many moons ago)... and because I haven't seen it in forever, I ended up sitting down and watching the rest of the episode... then a second episode came on... so I assumed Foxtel... you know, back to back to back to back episodes of stuff... maybe some sort of marathon...

But I'd seen the next episode, so I went for another wander, and when I came back the lounge area was pretty much FULL... and everybody was glued to the screen. So there weren't really any spare seats that I could get to easily, but after somebody left I ended up sitting up the back at the "bar" where you can order food if the mood takes you (don't ask, I don't know what they serve and I'm not sure I want to find out)... and the guy behind the counter was flitting back and forth, and when his overly pierced self (he had a piercing through the skin at the base of his throat amongst others) happened to be behind me I asked him if it was Foxtel... turns out no... DVD... he owns all three season, but only brought one in. He's obviously seen them more than a few times... he was laughing well in advance of a few of the jokes... but at least we were laughing at the same things... I don't think some of the guys got some of the more "English" humour.

So, yeah, I finished my night at the sauna watching an old teevee show about a neurotic gay guy and a fat slapper... I also thanked the guy behind the counter for bringing them in as I left... well, it's only polite.

And now, dear friends... to Beddenstine...

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thoughts from the sauna

So it turns out that 7/7/07 wasn't as lucky for me as it could have been...

The last time I hit the sauna I made a random vow that I should probably sit down and read all my previous sauna posts before going... and I also said that I should try going on a Friday or Saturday night...

Well, I managed to do half of that last night... and not the part that might have stopped me, obviously...

Actually I hadn't intended to go at all... I was supposed to be having somebody over, we'd been chatting back and forth since about the middle of the week, including some hot and heavy text messaging (actually picture messaging too on more than one occasion), and I was looking forward to seeing him... but I got stood up with nothing resembling a good excuse...

Actually I sent him three text messages, tried to call him three times, and in the end got one text message back saying that he had to work (or something had come up at work or some such) and would get back to me... which, to be honest, set off my bullshit detector a little since I wouldn't have thought his particular line of work did weekends (although it's not outside the realm of possibility)... and also, if that was the case, why didn't he just send me a text message when I messaged him at 4:30 (or whenever he realised that this "work crisis" wasn't resolving itself), instead of waiting until 8:30 and all those additional text messages and the attempted phone calls on my part.

Seriously... I don't ask for a written guarantee or binding fidelity or anything... all I ask for is that you tell me the truth... that's it... and tell me the truth the first time I ask... not the third time, or the ninth time or the three hundred and eighty seventh time. You will always win more brownie points from me if you just say "okay, this is how it is"... whether the news is good, bad or indifferent... and so long as you're not actively trying to be cruel in how you deliver it.

But you'd be surprise just how hard that is to find... even getting guys online to just say "look, you're not my type, sorry" instead of going silent or worse still, disappearing completely... it's bad manners and it shits me.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah... so I'd been looking forward to having some physical contact with somebody all day, and now it seemed like it wasn't going to eventuate (okay, that's not quite how I phrased it in my head at the time, but we'll go with this version)... and I really didn't want to just sit around the house waiting and hoping that MAYBE this guy would either finish his "work crisis" or whatever was going on, and would then call me... because there lies the path of the Crazy Pants (and they're highly unflattering and mostly uncomfortable, plus so last season)... plus I've done that more than enough, sitting around the house waiting for some guy to call who never does (worse yet, for some guy to show up)... so the sauna seemed like a good alternative (and, to be honest, if I hadn't had the connection with the guy who stood me up, then it was kind of where my brain was headed anyway this week).

I swear though that the Universe isn't ever going to let me use that whole "well there were no car parks, so I changed my mind and came home" excuse that I keep floating around in the back of my mind... pretty much every time I get the exact same park in the exact same spot in the little backstreet... only now I make sure I park facing the correct way...

I did have a bunch of different thoughts while I was kicking around in the sauna for the four hours or so I was there, but I think I'm going to go the dot point rather than the longer rambly style I usually favour... so...

• As a general rule, after being stood up, the sauna is a bad plan... mostly because you're in a crappy frame of mind to begin with.
• Compared with when I used to go some years back, the place does seem much emptier, although, as always, it's a bit of a hit and miss affair.
• Orgy rooms are, in general, just a bad idea for me.
• If you can't maintain an erection, it's either time to stop doing so many drugs, or stop insisting that everybody blow you and just go back to being a bottom.
• Cut guys seem to take about 100 times longer to orgasm then uncut guys.
• Asking me the same question over and over and over again, even in different ways, just to get yourself off (and I'm sure there is probably a similar comment about "if you can't cum, it might be time to stop the drugs) isn't going to turn me on, it's just going to bore me and make me want to smother you with my towel.
• And if you were really serious about getting together again (one of those questions that you asked over and over), you would have gotten some kind of contact detail from me before you disappeared.
• Three is probably my limit... and I'm not sure how long it's going to be before I'm really in the mood again.
• Hot, hot, hot showers are good!

That last one is particularly relevant because my shower here at home still isn't working the way it should be... so it was just nice to stand under a really hot shower again.

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boom-chika-boom sauna adventures

Okay, let's put on our Imagination Pants as I open my second bottle of Powerade and poke Blogger with a stick so it stops giving me this dumbass "Server Error", shall we...

Imagine that you are planning to buy some chocolate on a given date... and you're really looking forward to this chocolate, but you start thinking about chocolate all the time, and there seems to be chocolate everywhere on offer, and you find yourself talking to people about chocolate, and you end up having some carob... which isn't really chocolate, but it's similar, although not nearly as good... then, finally, the day before you're due to buy this chocolate you end up being offered a couple of pieces of somebody else's chocolate... so you leave the house at 1:30 in the morning to go and have some... but it doesn't ruin your appetite for the chocolate you've been thinking about...

Of course, it doesn't help that when you finally buy the chocolate that you've been waiting over a week for, it's not actually as good as you remember it, or that it varies every time you have some... but it's chocolate... and even questionable chocolate is still chocolate....

Everyone nice and confused now?

Yeah, me too... I think I took the whole chocolate analogy a touch too far...

As anyone who's been around for a while will probably realise (and the rest of you will just have to go off the post title and pic), I took another of my little trips to the sauna this afternoon... like I was planning earlier in the week.

Interestingly, in my discussions about "chocolate" with people this week online I've had two conversations with two different people about the sauna... and maybe I need to start listening to my own advice, since I told both of them that it can depend on the day, and just general pot luck, as to what kind of an experience you have.

You would have thought, today being grey (and later turning to rain, although I didn't know that until I actually came back out again) and a little chilly that the place would have been full... actually not so much... maybe the whole "Bear Men" thing is on the wane... I dunno... but I think before I go again next time, I need to sit down and reread this post (actually, maybe all of the sauna posts).

I mean, I have had worse sauna experiences, and this wasn't really even on that list... it just made me think a couple of times about what the hell I was doing there... or whether I should have left earlier... or what... I'm just a bit ambivalent about the whole thing right now.

On a completely abstract note, I also sat in the steam room at one point and wondered what would happen to the place if the water restrictions situation got worse... I mean the whole place RUNS on water... the pool, the spa, the steam room, the washing machines to launder the towels... and I would imagine that they can't do a hell of a lot as far as recycling the water, given the whole public health thing... like I said, abstract, but it did make me think.

There was also a guy there who made me think... actually there were a few of them, but this one in particular made me wonder for a while. He was BEAUTIFUL... okay, a little Light Industrial (think cute rough trade), but gorgeous... really slender but beautifully defined body, perfect butt, nice bit of tattoo work on the shoulder, close cropped hair, hung like an absolute DONKEY... so basically, you would imagine that guys would have been tripping over him left right and center... but he had, I think, Cerebral Palsy (at least that's what I'm guessing it was) and he had the whole "not quite right" thing going. Which was a shame, because he really was beautiful. I don't want to say I feel sorry for him, because for all I know he has a great life and everything is going swimmingly, but give the whole gay community's obsession with perfection in all forms, I can empathise that maybe he gets overlooked a lot. Although looking the way he does, maybe not.

Anyway, it was a thought...

I did manage to "bag" (which sounds bad when I say it like that) a guy I've mentioned before, with the big tribal tattoo on one shoulder... although it was a little like the experience with Cubby from the first visit that I blogged about... for a big, buff, beefy dude, he was, well... not big and beefy in all departments...

I also nearly gave myself third degree steam burns in the steam room... the steam vents happen to be right in the corner of the L shaped bench, and there was a brief moment when myself and two other guys were being a little like the seagulls from Nemo... "MINE!"... over this really hot guy, but unfortunately I was on the wrong side of the L and every time I went to move across I had to move past the steam... fuck that stuff is hot! In the end I took my wounded pride and steamed buttocks and left them all to it.

Other than that it was a little bit of a non-event... or the bits that were events weren't particularly good ones (not bad, not good, just m'eh). Maybe next time I just need to bite the bullet and go on a "real" day... Friday or Saturday night... when there will be more people around, hence, one would hope, more opportunity. Or maybe I need to pack it in again... take the few pleasant memories from this set of visits and call it a day... I dunno...

On the plus side, with the many cycles of steamroom/pool/steamroom/pool that I went through, my skin is nice and soft again. Although, when I was thinking that part way through the afternoon I also remembered that it was Marc that pointed that out to me... and since that didn't work out that well... let's just say that it wasn't something I kept remembering.

I'm taking my soft skin and my chocolate analogy and going away now...

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