Saturday, May 13, 2006
Well, that was interesting...
After all the associated drama-rama involved in actually getting Marc here, tonight was a highly enjoyable evening... I'm hoping it didn't end on a slightly sour note (which is kind of the way I feel right now), but the rest of it was quite enjoyable...
I'd been in a vague state of random nerves since about 3:30 this afternoon, and by about 5, I'd had enough of it, so I stuck The Emperor's New Groove, which I got today, in the DVD player to kill the hour and a half before Marc was due to get here... it actually worked really well, completely distracted me from, well, myself basically, and so when he SMS'ed me just before the movie ended saying he was on his way I was doing okay.
Unfortunately there was a gap of time between the movie ending and him arriving that led to me doing my usual pacing around and occasional curtain peeking... I can't help it... I'm not a patient person.
Anyhow, he arrived pretty much on time (as always, point to him) and we did the brief banter thing about the apartment and how he went the wrong way on my street, etc... and then he gave me some cheesily appropriate opening line that I could respond to by kissing him, and things progressed from the living room to the bedroom.
Its interesting... I'm kind of stuck for words about the sex... don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable, but it possibly wasn't the best part of the evening... if I'm being completely and totally 100% honest, it wasn't even the best sex I've ever had (although defining what and when the best sex I've ever had was may be an ordeal in itself, although there are two possible finalists that spring to mind)... but luckily it was the thing that I quoted in a previous post about "friends with benefits"...
The advantages of friends with privileges is that sex is easy and comfortable, without all the pressures and limitations of a relationship.
Maybe it's just because we've already gotten that "getting to know you" sex out of the way at the sauna... maybe it's because I'm approaching this as a true "friends with benefits" scenario rather than just as a casual hookup, but after an initial (and I'll admit, typical) moment of unease on my part, the sex was exactly that... easy and comfortable... and fun. Yes, we're each still learning what the other likes (and conversely, doesn't like), but I had no qualms about pointing him in appropriate directions (like biting my neck, which after I initially said he could do it, he said "but my teeth are sharp", and I replied "so?" to which he countered with "it'll hurt", and I replied "so?"... although I doubt that the marks that he did leave will even last the weekend... amateur *grin*), or quizzing him on certain practices and issues, or just diving in when and where it felt appropriate.
Interestingly, while the sex wasn't in the top ten, I would have to rate my orgasm as amongst the more intense (although whether it was a direct result of the effort and actions I did to achieve it or not, I don't know... which sounds odd, but I actually can't word it any better than that right now, and I know that I mean)... I actually couldn't do very much but kneel and breathe for a good couple of minutes afterwards... and I think it was only because of a straying (and unintentionally tickling) hand from Marc that I actually regained my powers of speech.
We did the post-coital snuggle after that, but because he wouldn't stop either attempting to tickle me, or after that mostly failed, blowing raspberries on any part of me he could reach, our snuggle turned into a wrestling match, with me trying to stop him from tickling and raspberrying, and, in the end, succeeding thanks to my double jointed wrists and hands and flexible legs (not to mention my both height and weight advantage over him). That was actually really fun, completely unsexual, even though we were both naked, but enjoyable in a whole other way (that really stupid and childish way mostly).
Having said that though, I may have tweaked my back slightly (not completely his fault, since I think I tweaked it initially sitting in my car this afternoon), and either stretched or tweaked my wrist, since that is bugging me at the moment.
Oh this weak and feeble shell, how I curse thee... or something...
At any rate, we got slightly overheated from all the rasslin' (well, him more than me, since I'm, as he put it, like a big hot water bottle... I do have a very warm body temp normally and can put out a lot of heat in the right situation), and he decided he was going to go outside and have a smoke break (and I'm repeating again, big point off from his overall score for that) which, in the end, actually made a natural act break between the "bedroom playtime" and the "living room friend time". I was actually surprise to find, when I checked the clock on the microwave, that we'd been in the bedroom for about an hour and a half... between the sexin' and the rasslin'... not bad really...
The one downside to having a buddy like my buddy J, is that all conversations you have with other people, you have an unfortunate tendency to use the conversations with J as the measuring scale everyone else gets rated against.
I also think I partly know why some of the conversations with J have gone on into the very wee small hours of the morning, because it's only once you've talked through all the superficial drivel that you get to the good stuff... which is kind of how the conversation went with Marc and I, but we didn't get to as much of the good stuff as I would have liked. And I take full responsibility for my part in that... I probably could have steered the conversation in that direction earlier, but I just didn't. What I did find interesting was that I found myself quoting various things I've written here almost word for word... like I said in one of my earlier posts about Marc, a lot of the stuff in my brain has already been aired out and given some semblance of order thanks to the blog, so, for the most part, I was able to articulate myself better than if I'd just been flying off the cuff.
One thing that does annoy me about Marc though... and that is him cutting me off partway through a story and telling a story of his own that gets us to a tangent place from where we were that then it's really difficult to come back from (J and I do that too, but we do what we call "The Billy Connolly Effect", where we tend to go back and finish off each of the abandoned conversations at the end). That, and the fact that once or twice it almost felt as though we were talking at cross purposes, or he wasn't always getting where I was coming from... but then I do talk a million miles an hour on occasion, and my brain is wired up in a singularly unique way and sometimes it does take a little while for people to get used to that.
And for the record, I did end up asking him the two questions I mentioned in my last post about him... namely, was he imposing a "time limit" on our time so he had an "escape"... and was he planning on heading to the sauna after he left here. I almost didn't... not because I chickened out, but because, after having spent the evening with him, they actually didn't seem as important as they did a couple of days ago. To be honest, the time limit one just seemed dumb after part of the conversation we'd had (and it turned out he actually left just after 10:30, an hour later than he had initially mentioned), but it was actually the second question that threw me for a slightly loop. It was answered, but I never actually asked it. It had floated around my brain, and I just though "I actually don't need to ask this", which is what I said to Marc, that it wasn't an important enough question to actually ask... but then he proceeded to answer it as though I'd just verbalised the question. And he did it without skipping a beat. Turns out that he had thought about it, but had decided against it because he needed the sleep (the cynic in me wonders if he did actually go or not, but without evidence to the contrary I can only go with what he tells me).
Where I initially thought the evening ended on a sour note (but I'm now not thinking that it really matters all that much) was when I asked him if he would consider spending the night at some stage... I asked partly for two reasons, the first being completely selfish, it's been a really long time since I did have anyone stay the night, and it would just be nice... and secondly (but, if I'm being completely honest, the much lesser reason) that I'd enjoyed tonight and would enjoy spending the night with him. Unfortunately I'm still not perfect at reading him yet, at least before I've verbalised something, and if I'd actually let myself think about it I probably wouldn't have asked.
I think (okay, thats not true, I pretty much know) that he's had more than a couple of bad experiences with people getting too attached to him too soon, because that was part of what he said to me, that it was too early to ask that question (although I don't agree, since I like to work on a "If you don't ask, you don't get" basis... even though asking for it doesn't mean I get it), and that, for him, that would be a much bigger step than actually coming over (since even getting him over here was the first big step)... I kinda doubt it will make him pull away from this whole thing we've finally gotten started... and I'm hoping that he enjoyed tonight enough to come back for more (which I think he did).
Do I think I'll develop "the wrong kind" of feelings for him and overcomplicate things... I think the jury is still out on that one, but at this stage I wouldn't think it's a high likelihood, I still believe there's enough about him that will keep me sufficiently at bay and stop me from getting over attatched... but you never know I guess.