photo friday: back

bondi bluesurf club shirtless barbie

manly wave crashmanly griffen

watch the horizonbondi lookout
A brief confession before we start... I wrote a large chunk of this post on Wednesday when I was feeling a little frazzled... now that it's Friday some of it is still true, some of it not so much... but I'm leaving it all here, just so it more accurately describes my mental process this week... and I'll add any addendums to the end...

After a week back at work I'm... conflicted.

Everything is the same but at the same time everything is completely different. We're in a different location, there are some new people in the team and although it almost feels like I was never away I feel like I'm starting completely from scratch because all my routines and shortcuts and just that general level of comfort and understanding when you know what you're doing is all gone.

It's weird because it both feels like starting somewhere completely new and knowing nothing (because unlike all the other times I've been in and out of the place, there's the most change in where The Nut House is headed and I'm coming in about halfway through that so I feel more than a little bit lost and have no idea what the hell is going on... well, I know what's happening theoretically but I haven't been around for the history) and at the same time it's exactly the same.

And I'm remembering the reasons why I love being there (most of which have to do with the people at this point), I'm also remembering all the reasons the whole organisation frustrates me.

A major part of which is feeling like (either through my own overthinking or through other people's behaviour) I'm only there for the scut work. I mean, yes, that's partly why I was hired again, to actually take some of the lower level stuff on to free other people up to do other things, and for the most part when I was doing it I didn't have that much of an issue with it because I had a niche and my own projects... but like I said, I feel like I'm starting from scratch again.

I'm also sure I've said it before but I fucking hate dress pants and shirts... partly because I'm totally the wrong shape to both look good and feel comfortable in them, and also because it's a stupid and arbitrary system, particularly when it comes to the differences between men's and women's workwear.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have the opportunity and (by the time next Thursday rolls around) the money... but there's a layer of frustration at the moment. Yeah, maybe that's it more than being conflicted... frustrated. But maybe what it really is is a lack of sleep combined with going from all the free time to what feels like no free time.

Just as a side note, I don't remember how the conversation came about but H-San was asking me "well, what else would you have been doing at 1pm on a Wednesday", to which I truthfully answered "Making lunch and watching Jim Henson's Creature Shop Challenge" and the new guy (at least new to me) turned around at his desk and proclaimed that that was the best response ever. It's nice to know I still amuse people, but I wasn't even saying it to be amusing, it was just a true fact. I had routines... stupid and lame as they were, I'd given myself routines within this amorphous amount of free time I had and now I have to reconfigure the time into work time and my time.

I think it's just a period of adjustment... I have a feeling it's been my longest period of not working after my longest period of working in the same place consistently, and I've only been back for a a very short period of time, so I guess I just need to work some of the bugs out.

So that was Wednesday... and to be honest I think that the act of writing it all down cleared some of the issues out of my brain, I'm not saying a lot of what I wrote still isn't true, but it got easier in the latter half of the week.

I'm still shaking some of the bugs out of my morning and afternoon routines though... I've been going on my morning walk every day before work, albeit much earlier (and hence in the dark) than I was last week as well as walking home after work. Last time I was working I was only doing the after work walk and going into work earlier, but I feel like this is a better plan, at least for now.

Unfortunately I haven't really gotten my act together as far as going to bed at a reasonable time is concerned... for the most part it's been about an hour later than I would otherwise like.

And I also switched buses mid week... for the first couple of days I'd walked all the way down to O'Connell Street and caught the same buses that I used to, but it's a bit of a hike, so on Wednesday I switched to one of the buses that goes along Jeffcott Street. Granted it detours and ends up in exactly the same place as the other bus, but at least I don't have to walk as far. Now I just need to work on the timings so I know the whens and whats.

Oh and my plan to bring my lunch from home more often lasted exactly one day... but as the weather gets colder there will be a lot more instances of soup, so that will be fine.

I also finally got the drama of my $900 gas bill sorted out... and after calling the gas company on about three different occasions and never hearing back from them, I finally got onto the correct person who managed to work out and then solve the problem in question in about five minutes flat. And on top of that, because I'd had to call up so many times he completely cancelled that bill so I don't have to pay for the first three months at all, which is brilliant.

There was also a little bit of drama when it came to filling out my timesheet this afternoon... seems that they now use a completely different system, which requires a different log in, which nobody bothered to tell me about when they booked me, and when I called up they said the system would automatically email me the details to my home email. That was at 3:30pm... it's now 11pm, no email. So there will definitely be some hurried phone calls on Monday morning.

This week also ended with the double-header of a chiro appointment and a haircut on the same day, albeit several hours apart, which meant that I haven't had a whole lot of free time tonight (and hence why I wrote a large chunk of this post on Wednesday).

My haircut with Tink was fairly standard... the hair he is short and blonde, same as usual... but I'd taken my photos from Sydney along to show her, so that took up a chunk of time. It was a pleasant way to end the week though.

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