After the horrible week I had last week, things actually got worse on Monday... like really, really worse. Okay, not people dying, buildings falling down or losing a limb type of bad... but pretty bad as these things go.
But I'm not sure if the very fact that it had been a somewhat nebulous and internal issue and even though it becoming a concrete issue made it about a hundred times worse it also made it solid, so it could be worked around and examined and looked at, rather than being a big mass of neuroses in my brain.
And yes, I'm aware that that is all incredibly vague and not very specific, but a) I don't really want to go airing all my dirty laundry, and b) I'm hoping that at some much later stage I can look back on this and be all "I have no memory of what I was talking about there, which is good because it sounds rotten".
I think that I also managed to put a few of my mental houses in order a little bit, since while it took me almost the whole week to feel most of the way back to normal (and even not completely then) it did mean that a bunch of other things that would normally have frustrated the living daylights out of me ended up under the "not as bad as X" column in my brain.
That included having my next door neighbours inform me on Monday night when I got home that they were throwing a party... but at least they told me and other than standing around outside at midnight talking a little too loudly for a little too long, it wasn't so bad. And a cinema full of people who either couldn't find their seats or were sitting in other people's seats and just standing around looking vacant.
Add to that a couple of random guys contacted me via online means purely to call me names... one of whom got one of my "think about your behaviour" replies that usually takes up a whole iPhone screen. I need to just write one of those and store it somewhere for the odd occasions that I need it. Granted, I'd prefer not to need it. I mean, seriously, why would you go out of your way to insult someone online... someone you've never spoken to before... I just don't get that.
Anyway...
The last bump in the road, as it were, happened last night when I was headed into Espionage Gallery. I got in the car, turned the key, and nothing. Goddamit! Every winter, without fail, the stupid car battery doesn't get used for a couple of weeks and goes into fucking cardiac arrest. I nearly gave up on going into town at that point, but instead decided to just go and jump on a bus into town, with the intention of getting a taxi home since I was picking up some artwork.
It turned out to be a good decision, since Josh had a couple of other people helping him out so he and I stood in his "office" area and had a big long conversation while everyone else did the running around. I also pretty much bought an artwork from the next show without seeing the completed piece... but it's an artist that I love and it's a gorgeous piece... so why the hell not (other than the fact that I don't have space for anything). And it turned out that one of the pieces I bought at the previous show was much bigger than I remembered it being, so I left it there to be picked up tomorrow and walked home instead.
Which meant that I caught the bus into town twice and walked home twice yesterday. Not exactly how I planned the evening to go, but it worked out okay in the end.
Although because I forgot to change into my sneakers when I left work I think the combination of walking home twice in "the wrong shoes" (once last night and once tonight) did a bit of a number on my little toes... so, ouchy!
All of the drama of the week made me look at the fact that if both my work life and home life are equally stressful then I need to find ways to reduce my stress, and I really need to look at finding another place to live. Having said that, that is so much easier said than done, especially since I haven't dipped my toe in the real estate market for probably ten years... although maybe a little less.
Firstly everything seems either really manky or really expensive or both. I'm sure I'm asking a lot anyway, especially given the rent I pay now (which, if anything, is further proof that my landlord is a fucking moron, given what we could be paying versus what we are paying). And doubly so given the fact that I really would prefer to live in the city or North Adelaide still... although other suburbs surrounding the city are on the table too. But after a cursory glance it's not looking promising in my current budget.
This week was the first time I've looked however... so who knows.
As with seemingly everything in my life at the moment, we'll see how things take shape.
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