character saturday: a halfling's best friend

So... this has been a thing I've kind of wanted to make for a while now. And the addition of a ton more mounts and familiars during Hero Forge's Advent Calendar let me make it a reality.

My first ever character, Belben Beestinger, on the back of the mastiff riding dog he's had since his... third or fourth adventure, if I remember correctly. So this is Barley. Because of course a halfling would name a pet/mount after a food item.

It's very sweet though.

Oh, and for the record, the final item in the calendar was a flail. Not very exciting.

 Anyway.

This week was... weird. I mean, the first week of the New Year usually is, but because NYD was on Sunday and the holiday was Monday, I legitimately forgot what day it was at least twice during the week.

There's not a lot to report for the week. I basically made the same thing for dinner each day. And spent most of most days horizontal. Because I'm getting there but I'm not there yet.

The landlord came over to put a new globe in the rangehood midway through the week. And also fixed the front door, which was hanging crooked. So, yay.

We're starting Thursday night DnD back up next Thursday, provided everyone is hale and healthy.

Friday night DnD was honestly mopping up loose ends, finishing exploring the castle, finding out bits of lore. It's weird. I was so worried about my additions not sticking the landing, I failed to see that the whole end sequence in the book kind of falls over a bit.

But nobody is unhappy about it. It just could have been so much better.

I feel like next week is very probably the final session. If not, then the following week is basically follow up and epilogue. And so my time as DM comes to an end. Honestly, I'm 50% looking forward to not having to prep and keep a whole adventure worth of story living in my head from week to week... and 50% will absolutely miss crafting a story for my friends.

I've also written the least interesting backstory I think I've ever crafted for the next Friday campaign. It works, but it was honestly like pulling teeth. It shouldn't have been, I just couldn't get it started. It's also not complex or nuanced. But, honestly, that might be who this character is... looking to the future rather than the past.

Anyway.

Today wasn't much of anything because it's another hot day. So, supermarket, back here, Ma went home. That's it.

Current mood:

movies: strange world

Let's start out with a little creative exercise. I want you to furrow your brow... like someone has just told you something that makes no sense, or you're trying to read really small text. Okay, now open your mouth slightly, like you've forgotten to close it for about 20 minutes.

Got it? You there? Great. 

Now you know the expression I had on my face for essentially the entire run time of this movie.

Actually, I'm not even sure this qualifies for any of the technical definition of "a movie".

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Welcome to Disney's Strange World.

I do not know what this is. It is not, however, an actual movie. Because a movie has a plot. And characters with personality and motivation. An actual movie makes me feel something other than "confused".

What this is, is if an AI was given the scripts for every Disney and Pixar movie ever (most specifically Raya and the Last Dragon, Finding Nemo, Onward, Atlantis and Moana) as well as Journey to the Centre of the Earth (all versions), Fantastic Voyage, Inner Space, Flubber and a description of that one dream you had that time when you had a really bad fever and were slightly delirious. And then it shat out this script.

Also. I have said this many times. And I'm saying it again.

Disney. Stop. Just flat out stop.

Stop mistaking "appearing on screen" for "representation". Making a main character "gay" by giving them a highly stereotyped same sex crush (oh, he's got blonde tips, wears pink and a skirt over his pants... groundbreaking), mentioning it at the start of the movie, once during the movie and again at the end while it having absolutely zero effect on that character, their journey or their personality is NOT having a gay character.

You know how you fix that. You send the crush with them on their adventures and those two characters say more than... I don't know... 9 words to each other. They develop a relationship. You know, like existed in Raya before you look all the lesbian out of it.

Or you just, and I can't emphasis this strongly enough, fucking stop.

While we're on the subject.

Having a character show up on one side of the screen for 11 seconds in a wheelchair is not representing disability. Putting a three legged dog in the same movie is even worse because the dog with a disability is on screen longer than the wheelchair woman.

You do get a very, very, very small amount of points for having the physical ethnicity of the characters in the movie match (or thereabouts) the ethnicity of the voice actors portraying them. And by points, I mean "doing the bare minimum".

Speaking of the cast. They deserved a better movie. Wasting Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhall, Gabrielle Union and Lucy Lui on this piece of trash is insulting to all of them. And me as the audience.

The writer/co-director, Qui Nguyen, and director, Don Hall, wrote/directed Raya and the Last Dragon. So, clearly, those "gay pages" from Raya ended up here. Half the characters look like background extras from Raya anyway.

But it's also incredibly clear that this movie had no actual script or story. It has some words. But it's over 100 minutes long, rushes through any set up for story and character in the first ten minutes and somehow rushes through the next 90 minutes without saying anything that Disney hasn't said before or Pixar hasn't made into a masterpiece. And leaves you at the end going "whut?".

Also, Disney, as a company, can you please ensure that your male Animation Department employees have access to mental health care, because they're all very clearly suffering from some unresolved issues with both their fathers, children or both. And writing it into a movie script for the 10th time isn't the same as actual therapy. Or maybe it's time to let some women write and direct. The men clearly need a nap.

And, if you're paying enough attention, the twist in the movie becomes obvious at a certain point. Or if not "obvious", I found myself thinking "well that looks like [blank]" many, many times, and it turns out that, yes, that's because that's exactly what that was.

As an idea, it's fascinating. But it breaks down in so many different ways if you think about it for more than about 11 seconds. And no, I'm not spoiling it. It's the single thing the movie has going for it.

But the movie does not earn the reveal or have me care about the characters in the movie enough that I'm still interested in the movie by that point.

I continued to watch this movie mostly because by that point I needed to know what they thought the pay off for the movie was supposed to be and what they thought a successful resolution was. It is none of those things.

I honestly need a behind the scenes featurette about this movie. I need to know what they thought they were making. Because they failed.

This is a movie based on listening to too many Twitter threads, Tumblr memes and YouTube hot takes. And then failing, fundamentally, to make an actual movie.

This is that Disney movie that you will 100% forget existed. Or that in future will become the subject of many long video essays on YouTube that include the terms "developmental hell" and "plagued with problems from the start"... or even my absolute favourite "started principal production without a finished script".

It's this generations Meet the Robinsons (also written by Hall), Home on the Range, Dinosaur, Oliver and Company or The Black Cauldron. A movie that in about 5 years, if someone mentions it, you'll say "Oh, I totally don't remember that one... are you sure that was Disney?". Or you'll just shake your head and say "nah, never seen it", even if you did.

It's instantly forgettable.

The usual caveats apply. The imagery of the movie is stunning. As always. It's Disney Animation. Of course it's stunning. But it's candy floss and marshmallow... it's empty calories with no substance. None of it made me go "wow" because it's either weird and off-putting images or else I was staring at the movie with a confused look on my face going "but why?".

So, for the first time ever in the history of the blog, I'm introducing a new rating. Which hopefully I will never have to use again, because hopefully I won't encounter something like this again.

This isn't a real movie. It's an exercise in pretty images with nothing behind it.

yani's rating: Whut? electric brussel sprouts out of 5

2023

Welcome to 2023.

International Year of Millets and also Dialogue as a Guarantee of Peace... so there's that. And I went a little oldschool with the image for this year. All the way back to the 1930's with this photo by Gustave Roud from his Farmer Bodies series. Because who doesn't like a little vintage Swiss beefcake.

Yesterday was pretty chill. I did my usual prep. Emptied things, filled things. Took down the few Christmas decorations I had up. Changed my sheets and towels. Posted my regular posts to Twitter, Insta and the blog (Twitterversary, Insta Top 9 and Year in Review respectively).

And the Fluffy came over for NYE Movie Night.

Oh, I was also very, very happy to see Channel 9 continuing the NYE tradition and extending it this year. So not only was Can't Stop The Music on just before midnight, but before that, they put Xanadu on. Which makes my heart happy, because they're both trash, but they're the good kind of trash.

Speaking of movies.

I continued Fluffy's Classic Movie Education by introducing him to 1992's Death Becomes Her. Because what better way to end 2022 than with homicidal bitchy divas. 

And then he wanted me to finally watch the Marvel Halloween short movie, Werewolf by Night. It was about what I expected. A cast mostly devoid of charisma, a script mostly devoid of actual horror or suspense, and the usual amount of "stunt man throws other stunt man using wires" you expect from Marvel. The upsides. Cinematographer Zoe White, who made it look amazing. And, honestly, Man-Thing, the non-speaking CGI creature. Also, the makeup department.

It was not, however, the worst thing we watched all night.

Disney's Strange World. More on that shortly.

We also need to get better at timings for New Years Movie Night. So that, you know, we actually end the last movie at or just after midnight.

Because we finished up at about 11:30, wandered around my apartment for a good 10 minutes just saying "why" at each other, and then I drove Fluffy home, and was sitting at an intersection on the way home for actual New Years. Which did mean that including the drive there and the drive back, I saw about 8 different sets of fireworks go off. And got home just as the ones in Adelaide finished.

This morning I attempted to recreate the perfect egg and bacon roll I made back in... I dunno... it was 2 houses ago... so about 2015. Today's entry was tasty enough with the edition of my tomato and onion relish, but not as Instragram-worthy 2015 version.

So that's that about that.

Current mood:

two thousand and twenty two in review

This year started off with me being a giant ball of stress.

Moving house. It sucks at the best of times. This wasn't the best of times.

But I got through it. And the new place is... adequate for requirements. It's certainly much quieter than the old place.

I also got to dip my toes back into DMing, and actually DMing a full hardcover adventure for the first time. Which was actually super satisfying.

There were a few post-moving projects, including changing all my DVD covers over to Penguin Book themed covers. And then there was a lot of pre DMing prep.

So, for what it's worth, here's this year's roundup.

January: This month was one long moving related freak out. Up until securing a new place. Then it was just packing. And then I got a new iPhone, because the old one was on the bring of failure.

February: I lost a DnD character and gained a new one. I moved house with the help of Ma and Fluffy. Then did all the things that come after a move. And we got Ma a new iPhone also.

March: We had a tiny, tiny earthquake. I spent too much time printing things at Officeworks. Birthday.

April: I unpacked the last of the moving company boxes. We finished the current Friday Night DnD adventure.

May: I started DMing for Friday Night DnD.

June: I redid my blog banner. Got my flu vax. I got a new drivers license.

July: Got my fourth vax booster.

August: I got sick (just regular, normal sick) for the first time since 2019. The Thursday Night DnD group finally finished our non-campaign campaign after a little over a year.

September: Thursday Night DnD started our new Critial Role campaign with DM Fluffy. I got a new laptop. And then had to make it behave.

October: I had to go and get a second new driving license (thanks Optus). Third anniversary of the Friday Night DnD game.

November: After something like 25 years, I rejoined the library. I had the first proper rental inspection since moving in (the mid year one was cancelled). I put my Christmas decorations up and tweaked my back in the process (although that didn't become apparent until later).

December: Like I said... tweaked my back. I've spent most of the month laying on the bed and seeing my Chiro more than usual. No Christmas Tree decorating at Ma's place this year tho. Boardgame Christmas still happened followed by Movie Night with Fluffy. Also Regular Christmas.

So there's that.

As far as movies go... this year wasn't great for movies. The highlights being The Tragedy of Macbeth (surprising no-one) and Everything Everywhere All At Once. The movie that annoyed me most this year was No Time To Die (and yes, it came out last year, I didn't see it until late March).... fuck that movie.

Current mood:

character saturday: adventing part five

Remind me next year to definitely keep a colour theme through the whole of the Hero Forge Advent Calendar. I like the look of the items cross the weeks.

And I almost got away with a single model this week... but pauldrons don't really go with shoulderless shirts.

Also, because we're a day ahead in the future here in Australia, I don't get to add tomorrow's final item. Depending on what it is, I might use it as the basis for an outfit. Or not, we'll see. 

• Current item count: 35 + a ton of new familiars and mounts (everything else was a one off this week)
  
• Current item's I'd actually use count: 18 + (I'm not sold on the hat or the "beard", everything else is nice... and the animals will definitely show up in various things as we go)

So, we're roughly in the "about half" zone for things I'd use. Which is pretty good. I guess time will tell.

I do like the way these random collections of items start to suggest a character. Some kind of spellcasting, armoured sea captain with a rabbit familiar.

Anyway.

As always tends to be the case, there isn't a lot to report on in the week between Christmas and New Year. And even more so because I spent pretty much all of it horizontal. 

It's also why I'm typing this while standing up. Because there's not a lot of point spending a chunk of time laying down or walking around and then fucking up all that goodwill by sitting. I'll get there. I mean, I am getting there, I just want to try and sidestep some of the setbacks.

So I put most of my Christmas presents away early in the week... still gotta find a permanent home for Sharky McSharkington though... I reorganised my dice collection... I made salads with leftover turkey and sausage meat for most of the week (until it ran out)... it was mostly just a chill old time.

And then we get to Friday night DnD. They very nearly finished the campaign in the middle of the session... LOL. So I very definitely did that video game thing of saying "You're entering the final element, please ensure you've completed all quests you want to before proceeding"... or, that, but better written.

But we got to the big "twist/reveal"... and everyone's reaction was essentially the same as mine when I first read it.

"Huh... sure, okay... didn't see that coming. But why though?"

I also didn't drag it out. Once they had one of the big reveals in hand, I spelled it out for them, because otherwise it's just confusing. Because you don't see it coming or expect it.

But I think we have maybe a couple of sessions left if they want to go fight all the bad guys before triggering the end of the game. I need to give some thought to what happens there too. I just had a thought... I'll have to pull on that thread and see where it leads me.

I did also get to reveal Fluffy's warlock Patron to him finally. And of course, because his Patron was also his favourite magic item in the game, he was very happy.

Which is all I ever want really. For my players to be happy after a reveal. Even if the characters aren't.

Anyway.

Today was all about errands.

Supermarket to start, then off to Kmart and Big W looking for various bits and pieces. Most notably a new iPhone cord for me because the old one developed that "clearly broken unless you put it just so once it's plugged in" and fuck that game.

So that was it really. Then it was back here to do pre-New-Years things before Fluffy comes over for Movie Night.

Current mood:

post christmas round-up 2022

So Kris actually belongs to the Jingle Bros (Part 1 and Part 2) from last year. But I ran out of time to add him to the roster, so, you know what, he can be part of today. And he's just as I made him last year, I didn't bother remaking him.

And of course he's a halfling.

Merry Christmas to the, like, handful of people who still bother reading my blog. Essentially it's just a diary I shout into the void these days. But I'm still grateful for anybody who has stuck around.

So, indulge me for a little bit if you will. I'm feeling a little... garrulous.

The observant amongst you would have noticed that there was no traditional putting up of the Christmas Tree this year. No scantily clad Christmas hunk posted earlier on Christmas Day.

Yeah, I wasn't, and am still not, feeling it.

What I am feeling is more pain than I would like. And the sentence that has been whirling around in my head all day, and was originally going to be the opening line for this post is thus.

Surprising nobody, pain changes your brain chemistry. Regular pain more so. And for at least the last month, my brain has been dealing with intermittent pain from my back. Or, weirdly, pain that SHOULD be in my back, but is often on the sides of my calves, because nervous systems are fucked up little monkeys.

So, the last thing I wanted, or was physically able, to do at the start of the month, was drive down to Ma's place and put the Christmas Tree up. And so, left to her own devices, and under strict instructions that if she attempted to construct and dress the whole Christmas Tree I would be Very Angry With Her, the image above was the result.

It's not great, it also doesn't suck. It's the top third of the regular tree, inserted into the base of the regular tree. And had I been involved I might have attempted something with the Christmas Lights, it's not terrible.

But, going back to... well, my back. I can't sit for long. Not in most places. When I do, the aforementioned pain starts to creep in around the edges. And then all I want to do is go lie down. But after I've been lying down on and off for almost a month, that also fucks with my brain.

So, clearly, given this little story, I'm in a weird place this Christmas. Last Christmas was pre-moving stress. This is... less intense. But, honestly, I didn't much care about Christmas this year. And, yeah, I know, if you go back through the last few years, I've been saying some version of that for the last several years. But it's still true.

I still went through all the motions. But it was mostly for other people. And while I had fun along the way, I wasn't feeling it. Which brings us to today. Let's just say that left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have bothered much.

I woke up about as early as I have been of late, which is a little too early for my tastes. And I'd already told Ma there wasn't much of a point in me being down at hers super early. So I wasn't in any kind of rush. I faffed around, watched some YouTube stuff, and finally got my ass into gear, before having a shower, loading up the car with what little there was to load it with, closed up the house with the aircon on so I'd come home to a nice cool house and toddling up the road to Ma's place at about 8:45 or so.

We had our usual breakfast of croissants, and I'll be honest, as much as Ma always asks what I want on/with them, generally speaking I just want a little butter and that good, good warm pastry.

We fucked around a bit after, I complained, as I do every year, that none of the TV stations just digs into their stock of shitty (or not shitty) Christmas movies and just runs them end to end all day. There are enough channels these days, they could totally do that. I don't want to WATCH them, you understand, but I like some, as we call it, colour and movement going on in the background, since it's just Ma and I.

I never keep track of time on Christmas Day at the best of times, and it somehow tends to just flow through my brain like water anyway, so who the fuck knows when anything happened... 

But between mostly ignoring and quite often going "Hey, it's that person who was in that other thing", we put the original 1947 Miracle on 34th Street (it does kinda fall over a bit when you realise that Santa is also Captain Wiles from my favourite Hitchcock movie, The Trouble With Harry) and at some point in the process it was time for presents, such as it was.

And I say that only because a lot of my presents are what happens when you say "oh, that thing I need, or that thing we just bought, that can go away for Christmas". For... like the last four months. So it's all some combination of kinda from Ma, kinda from me to me.

But it also includes the presents from Mr, Mrs and Fluffy from Board Game Christmas.

So, starting there...

• LEGO Horizon Forbidden West: Tallneck
  (from Fluffy... nearly made me cry because reasons)
• IKEA BLÅHAJ Baby Shark
  (again, Fluffy... because we got slightly obsessed with some stupid IKEA Japan videos and the sharks in general)
• Here to Sleigh expansion deck (from Mr and Mrs... they bought me the original game a couple of years back)
• Q Workshop 2022 Advent Dice Calendar (from Mr and Mrs at the end of November)
• IKEA PIPSTÄKRA quilt cover (which also has an associated fitted sheet and a couple of pillowcases for other pillows, but I didn't bother including them)
• IKEA VINTERFINT Apple scented candle in metal tin
  
• Bonds Essentials Move Pullover Hoodie (plus a couple of Bonds tees, also not included)
• Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes sourcebook
• Before the Coffee Gets Cold by  Toshikazu Kawaguchi
• Seven Kinds of People You Find in Bookshops by Shaun Bythell
• LEGO Minifigure Series 23 Cardboard Robot (the one problem with blind box things is sometimes you get the one you're wildly ambivalent about instead of one of the 11 you really, really like)
• Chessex Polyhedral Dice Sets in Translucent Orange, Translucent Yellow and Light Blue

Oh, and some Bundaberg Spiced Ginger Beer, which is not so much a present, as something I was definitely taking home.

I took some photos, moved some stuff around, and then we started on lunch prep. Which went about the same as always, albeit slightly smoother than some years.

We put the potatoes in with the turkey and the sausage meat, so they got all good and crispy. But mostly it was switching between half watching The Holiday and doing prep.

And I'm just now remembering that I forgot to steal both the last of the mango salad dressing AND the mince pie ice cream from Ma's place. Oh well.

I have no idea when we sat down to eat. Sometime after 2pm maybe. No clue.

It was pretty good though. And some combination of the pepper I put on the tomatoes, the chili in the salad dressing and the ginger in the ginger beer definitely made it nice and tasty.

The intent was probably to play some Here to Slay, but, I'll be honest, I wasn't in the mood.

We tidied up, we watched a good chunk of Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which it seems like Ma hasn't seen before, and she groaned through all of the groan-worthy parts.

And then I threw together some Eton Mess with mince pie ice cream, lemon meringues and fresh berries. It's a good Christmas dessert. Even if, traditionally, we have it about three hours after dinner.

Then, honestly, by that point, I'd kind of had enough. Mostly of sitting and standing.

So I packed up the car with more stuff than I arrived with and headed back up the road. And other than the heat, it wasn't a bad run. I think it was around 6pm when I got home, and after unpacking all the stuff, threw myself into a quick shower and then had a lie down until I felt able to tackle this post.

Which is done now.

So, for another year, Merry Christmas, and thanks for listening to me unpack my internal monologue as part of the post-Christmas round up. It's becoming a tradition at this point.

Current mood:

character saturday: adventing part four

Of course, this week had to feature three pieces of headgear... leading to a little picture in picture action.

Much more of a blah week for this week's Hero Forge Advent Calendar, but some nicely rendered pieces again.

• Current item count: 29 (including two versions of the helmet, some handheld snowballs and two sizes of the arcane lantern)
• Current item's I'd actually use count: 14 (although it's a big maybe on the helmet, circlet, lantern and axe honestly)

Favourite item? Visually, the axe. Although I don't make a lot of heavy weapon wielding characters.

So, we have one more week to go, because this Advent Calendar runs for the whole month and doesn't end on Christmas Eve. Tomorrow does tend to be the big one though. All I'm really hoping for is less hats.

Anyway...

Sunday was Rocky Road Day. As in, the day I made this year's batch of Rocky Road. Which I ended up making in two batches, because I don't have bowls big enough. All while watching the 1970's version of A Christmas Carol, Scrooge. Which is free on YouTube and nobody seems to have noticed or cared that it's there.

Originally it was just for "colour and movement" while I was doing other things, but, I'll be honest, it's actually really, really good. It's also a musical and none of the child actors can really hold a tune. But it does some interesting things with something that is so overdone and I've seen so many versions of at this point.

As I've said to a number of people, it's the best version of the story that doesn't include Muppets.

Monday was Board Game Christmas Day.

And it was a good day. We played a bunch of games. A little L.L.A.M.A, followed by some Uk'atoa, then the adorable Calico (which was the only game I actually won, by a single point) and then finishing up with Shadows over Camelot, which was a co-operative game that we lost as a group. Well, except for Mrs, because it turned out she was the traitor, and because we all lost, she won.

We also did presents (which I well detail tomorrow), but suffice to say, Fluffy got me a little emotional, for reasons I can't quite explain, with his choice of gift.

I just threw home made tomato and onion relish (the food item I mentioned last week) and big boxes of Rocky Road at everyone.

After Board Game Christmas, Fluffy and I came back here and watched Hackers (which he'd never seen, which is a crime), and the aforementioned Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio. And between the movies, I made a quick pizza with stuff I had in the fridge.

So, quite a long day, in fact, from when he arrived to when I dropped him home, Fluffy and I hung out for over 12 hours. A good day though.

The rest of the week was pretty much nothing much, but a lot of me laying down to help my back out. Because it's getting there, but it's not there yet.

Fast forward to Friday for Chiro Day. As in the actual day I was intended to go to the chiro, not one of the several other times I've been this month.

And then it was Friday Night DnD.

I finally understand why many people said that the final area of this adventure was problematic. And doesn't make a ton of sense. Because while I'd prepped it, it seemed okay. But then the map showed me something that the text seemed to contradict and then suddenly I was in the realm of WTF. So I'm going to tweak some of the bit and pieces and see where we end up.

Because the "as written" instructions are actually kinda dumb.

But we'll get there.

And I don't really care because the stuff that I layered in which was more interesting is still paying dividends in ways I didn't forsee. And I still have some tricks up my sleeve even now.

But there are some spots in this final area I'm excited for them to get to, even if they're not super involved.

Anyway.

Why is it that when Christmas Eve DOESN'T fall on a day we would normally go shopping, the supermarket is insane and crammed full of people. And on the year that it DOES, the supermarket was... still busy, but not insanely so.

We did get there a little earlier than usual, and yes, the fruit and veg section was a little nuts, as it usually is. But I got served instantly at the deli counter (because they had a ton of staff on) and in a minor Christmas miracle, I just randomly picked a checkout because the person being served was about to leave, and it turned out to be the lovely girl we tend to gravitate towards on a normal week, because she's efficient, knows how to pack a bag and seems nice.

But it was actually fairly easy overall.

Ma didn't stick around for long afterwards, which is fine because I'm seeing her most of the day tomorrow, and it gives her more time to prep at her end.

So that's that about that.

Current mood:

movies: guillermo del toro's pinocchio

Many times in recent years, two movies that have basically identical premises are released essentially back to back, and there's always a clear winner. 

Bug's Life vs Antz. Armageddon vs Deep Impact. The Prestige vs The Illusionist. Finding Nemo vs Shark Tale. Happy Feet vs Surf’s Up.

And without me saying it, you already know which movie in each of those pairs is the winner. Because it's obvious.

So I don't even need to SEE the other movie (also, fuck Disney's toxic trend of remaking their animated movies in live action, but worse) to know that Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio is the absolute winner in the 2022 Pinocchio Movie Battle.

And sidebar, I don't normally talk about the movie posters over on the right there, I just normally pick the "primary" poster. But this absolute artwork exists, so, yes, I'm picking that one.

This movie is absolutely the most Guillermo del Toro movie imaginable. It's (from what I understand) the longest ever (thus far) stop motion movie, it's based on a piece of children's literature yet is probably not for children. And it features both fascists, World War II and angel/spirit characters that wouldn't be out of place in Hellboy.

It's also very much part of a trilogy with The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth. A fantastical story set against war and fascism.

And it's very, very cleverly done. While the main character is still a wooden boy brought to life by magic, there's no talking, bipedal fox and cat, no Pleasure Island turning boys into donkeys, and several of the characters who are kind of "blink and you'll miss it" are essentially rolled into one.

Plus it has a cast that includes Ewan McGregor as the Cricket, David Bradley as Geppetto, Tilda Swinton as the angels/wood sprites, Ron Perlman as the head fascist, Christoph Waltz as the human fox/circus owner and Cate Blanchett as Spazzatura the monkey who has maybe three fucking lines and mostly just makes noises. And who is quoted as saying that she would have been happy to "play a pencil" in the movie for del Toro.

I mean, story checks out really. 

Oh, and I do also need to shout out del Toro's co-director, Mark Gustafson, who was clearly all about the animation process.

I also did tear up at the end. Because the end is sweet and sad and lovely and... doesn't go where you expect it to go.

Actually that's kind of the movie as a whole... or at least it doesn't go the WAY you expect it to go, even if it covers the same ground. Because the original stories of Pinocchio do a lot more stuff (and include, it seems, a lot more talking animals), most of the current interpretations cover the same three or four dot points.

Tricked into joining the circus, separated from Geppetto, ends up with a bunch of other boys, seeks out his father at sea, giant whale/sea monster, happy ending.

This movie takes those elements and tweaks a number of them just enough.

Having said that...

Pinocchio, the character, voiced by Gregory Mann, is... kind of obnoxious. And I know that's the point at the start of the movie, but he never quite lost that for me, even at the end. Added to that is the fact that although all of the stop motion puppets are stunning, Pinocchio doesn't look like he's made of wood... he looks more like... wax or, honestly, what he probably is, some kind of resin. Specifically his head, and definitely from the back.

And... it's a musical. And the songs are... mostly terrible/forgettable/could have been cut. I mean, definitely anything that doesn't come from Pinocchio being on stage and performing.

Which would probably bring the running time of the movie down, which is also a little bit of an issue. It was a bit too long.

But it's still lovely.

yani's rating: 4 angelic hourglasses out of 5

character saturday: adventing part three

Well... that's more like it... other than, you know, that nasty-ass tail.

This week's Hero Forge Advent items are much more useful. And, honestly, a lot more interesting, and kind of go together, at least a bit.

• Current item count: 19 (including a heeled and flat pair of boots)
• Current items I'd actually use: 10 (this week was a good week, although I'm a little iffy on whether I'll actually ever use the hoodie and the skulldrons)

Do I have a favourite item from this week... yes, the Archery Gauntlets. Followed closely by the books and the bodice. And yes, I probably could have squeezed everything this week onto the same model as last week, but honestly, it all got a bit much.

Anyway...

This week has also been predominantly horizontal. But much improved.

I did spend about three hours on my feet on Sunday making a certain food based item for certain people's Christmas presents (I'll be less vague about it next week since the deed will be done by then). It was a different version than I've made previously, but I'm very pleased with the results.

My Monday chiro appointment was rescheduled on Monday morning to Tuesday morning, because, you know, chaos is always an option. But I was feeling a lot better generally by Monday, and even more so by Tuesday, although I couldn't really sit for all that long without it being a problem. Hence the previously mentioned horizontanality. Which isn't a word. But should be.

Then Wednesday I finished up the books I was reading and returned them to two different libraries. Which meant firstly a wander down the street to what I am henceforth going to refer to as The Postage Stamp Library. Like, I love it, but fuck it's small. Where I grabbed something else from my "to read" list. And then a quick trip to the Burnside Library where I mostly just Wandered Around and Looked At Things.

Also, I'm enjoying this library thing because it means I can read new books and not have to rearrange my living room every time.

Friday Night DnD was... amazing.

I finally, finally, finally got to drop the reveal on Fluffy's character that I've been waiting to do since May. And it went as amazingly as I could have hoped. It was one of the things I was worried about from the additional stuff I added, whether or not it would stick the landing. Whether the build up he had in his head as a player matched what the reveal was.

And I know it was good because as we left, after we waved goodbye to Mr and Mrs, he just said quietly "Fuck you". Which as every DM knows is the international love language of a player who loves what you just did but knows that it will cause mental trauma for their character.

But it does mean that we are entering end-game.

Today was much the same as last week. A pre-Christmas "We bought too much stuff because of reasons" supermarket trip followed by not a lot of anything. Because, really, why would we want to be doing anything involving shops this close to Christmas.

Also, you know, sitting for long periods, bad.

Current mood:

character saturday: adventing part two

Behold the terrifying spider person that happens when you try and display all the Hero Forge Advent Calendar items on one mini...

• Current item count: 11 (including two hairstyles and the soccer ball as handheld or base item)
• Current items I'll actually ever use: 3 (the feather dagger and the hairstyles)

 Granted, I think I've only used about three of the items from last year's Advent Calendar.

But I was worried for a little while there that we were going to be getting nothing other than (mostly useless to me) handheld items.

I will say, the modelling on some of these items is amazing. Especially compared with even last year's efforts.

Anyway.

This week has been... predominately horizontal.

Basically my back kinda gave up after last Saturday. And I went to see my chiro on Monday, she put everything back where it was supposed to be, but none of it liked that and made it's displeasure well known.

So I've basically been going back and forth between laying on the bed, struggling to get up again, using my cane, wandering around the apartment and only really sitting when I absolutely had to... like when eating. Or you know, right now. Because typing sideways is fucking hard.

And that's mostly been the key to it I think.

But my week basically boils down to going to the chiro on Monday, hobbling down the street to visit the library on Tuesday, and DnD on Thursday and Friday, mostly done from the standing position. I was supposed to go see my chiro again on Friday, but she had to cancel and now I'm going back on Monday instead.

Speaking of Thursday DnD... well... yeah, remember how I said things went south last week. We continued in a southerly direction for our last game of the year. So much so that one of the PCs died. And, my character, who is the closest thing we have to a cleric, let them die and left them behind.

I also invoked a secret that I, honestly, hadn't intended to. And I'm wondering if I actually needed to. I mean, I did in the moment, in order to get something done. But it's now going to be "a thing". I will, however, be very happy when the focus points at someone else and less at my... things.

But who would have guessed that when you make a character entirely out of secrets and lies, sometimes those things will come back to bite you in the ass. Who knew? 

Friday night DnD was a little delayed due to Other People's Plans, but it was a good session overall. And it looks like my pre-Christmas present/task will be prepping the final location.

Anyway...

Today was a big old pre-Christmas/Christmas prep supermarket shopping adventure. And that was it, because, honestly, see the earlier part of the post. And, seemingly out of nowhere, it was going to be over 30 degrees today, so fuck that.

That's it, basically.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lie down again.

Current mood: