character saturday: cinders ashpuddle

Not gunna lie... I think that this might by my favourite amongst this D&D Disney Character Colouring Book collection. Ella "Cinders" Ashpuddle. The gnomish Cinderella Bard. Because gnomes love to collect names, and also turning Ashputtle, the original German name for the story, into a gnomic name appealed to me greatly.

Originally I leaned towards Entertainer, because Bard, but then realised that Charlatan makes some amount of sense since she is pretending to be somebody else in this moment at the ball. Like I said last week, there is some element of "DnD Characters doing Disney cosplay" about all of these, so it only needs to make as much sense as works for me.

I definitely reused a lot of the elements from the previous time I tried this. Same class, because I want her to be able to make her own dress and her own pumpkin coach, but also the exact same outfit top too. Weirdly, I definitely pushed this towards the silver again, because her dress in the movie is definitely silver and not blue, it always comes out as a blue toned silver. And it's hard to see, but the heels are definitely "glass", it's just Hero Forge's lighting interacts with their "crystal" paint in very specific ways.

I just like the pose too. Especially the face. All the little details come together nicely.

Anyway...

I did, in fact, return to soup this week. And experimented with some curry powder... which wasn't a bad choice... it did just make everything a very uniform colour of yellowy brown. Except the carrot.

The Mini Media Reviews for this week...

The Court Jester. I've seen it before. Of course I have. Honestly, there are chunks of this where the movie makes no fucking sense. Like the fact that the fake king is holding onto power when he's both elderly and doesn't have a male heir. I mean, at worst, that king would just raise the real heir and hang onto power as long as possible. Was watching this directly after watching a lot of The Last Kingdom problematic for my suspension of disbelief? Oh hell yes. It's definitely a movie that just skips over large chunks of logic and reason. A lot of silly fun though.

A Letter To Momo. Turns out that I've seen this before. I have basically no memory of it. Which is the whole thing about this movie, it's inoffensive and pleasant. It just doesn't really stick in my memory.

The Once Upon A Time In China trilogy. I've seen the first one before, but not for like 14 years. All three of these are set in the same "Western countries interfering in China" time frame. And also do that thing that a lot of Chinese martial arts/historical movies do where they get very... fervent and jingoistic. While also doing slapstick humor. The second one is the most aggressive in both directions honestly, because they mix in real world historical figures to the story. And the third one has is definitely the most campy of the three. Not stellar overall... but pleasant.

Blow Dry. I can thank an SBS Instagram reel for this one. It showed me a snippet from the end of this movie enough to peak my interest. Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy and Rachel Griffiths was enough to get me through the door. The inherent camp of a 2000 hairdressing completion and the terrible haircuts thereof was enough to keep me interested. The decision to allow Josh Hartnett to do a Yorkshire accent was a questionable one, and it did throw me out of most of his scenes, but overall it was a good movie in the general vein of Kinky Boots, The Full Monty... that one about the band with Ewen McGregor that I haven't actually seen. It's definitely not at the top of the list, but it was enjoyable and definitely did some things in 2000 that made me go "oh, okay movie, go off".

In related news, I started Assassin's Creed Odyssey this week. I have thoughts. The problem mostly is that they game is trying to do things that aren't an AC game. And it's not giving me reasons for some of the things that it is trying to do.

Case in point. Your character was raised as a Spartan. Things happen, she grows up as an orphan and becomes a mercenary. The first zone after Tutorial Island requires you to work with the Spartans. So you think to yourself... okay, so I'm with the Spartans and against the Athenians, gotcha. But then the second zone you go to is controlled by Spartans, so in order to "win" that area, you have to work against the Spartans. And the game hasn't given you a "everybody is a Templar really" story motivation. So I basically threw away logic and just did what I do in every game, sneaking around murdering everybody.

Friday Night DnD... We started with the B Team... my boy nearly fell down a crevasse, we got chased by a Mind Flayer and now Team A and Team B have teamed up... so I'm currently going to be running three characters and a familiar. This is going to end in chaos.

Anyway...

Not a huge amount to comment on this week. Really just the usual supermarket stuff.

character saturday: neywurl whitehammer

Way back in 2021, I did a set of Disney Princesses as DnD Characters. Looking back on them now... ooof... both the tool and my own skill have come a long way.

But somebody recently brought up the idea of Disney Princesses as DnD classes on Reddit, which led me to revisit the idea firstly, but also to look up the "official list" of Princesses, which is both different from my original list, but also is incredibly questionable in my opinion.

Because Merida is on the official list, when she's actually a Pixar Princess, Mulan is on the list when she is decidedly NOT a princess, the pair from Frozen who definitely are royalty, and also decidedly Disney's cash cows, are NOT on the list. And Kidagakash "Kida" Nedakh who is most certainly a princess who becomes a queen and is not on the list because Atlantis was considered "a financial disappointment". Even though it made almost as much again on home video as it did in theatres. I will also never not be annoyed about the Kida-erasure.

Which is all besides the point.

I took the official list of 13 Princesses and matched them to the 13 DnD classes. Some of them are a little bit of a stretch, especially with some of the more modern princesses, and some of them definitely suffer from the caveat of having to use each class only once.

I started with Snow White, then Ariel, and was working on Jasmin when I suddenly realised that I didn't need to stick to human like I did last time. And I'll possibly go more into that thought process when I get to Jasmin. It made me revisit the other two though. And then proceed from a much less constricted POV.

And thus, like last time, there was even more of an element of mixing other parts of the movie or villain into the princess in question. Some of it is also a little bit of DnD characters "cosplaying" as the princesses.

Which, of course, meant that Snow White became the dwarven Neywurl Whitehammer. And actually improved her design, because I wasn't 100% happy with the human version. Like last time though, she's a Swarmkeeper Ranger. Because of course I want her swarm to be a random assortment of woodland animals trying to chew your face off. Once again accompanied by the start of Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song. Thank you Shrek the Third and the Damsels of Destruction scene.

And the name comes from the DnD Dwarvish word for "powdery white snow (when falling)", thanks Ed Greenwood.

What I did realise as I took on the first few designs was that there are six Saturdays from now until the 2026 Hero Forge Advent Calendar kicks off. So, for the time being, I stopped after the first six chronological Princesses. 

Did the seventh princess sneak into being after I hit a wall on trying to put together the tenth, yes. That's a problem for 2027 me.

Anyway...

An attempt was made at salad this week. It wasn't terrible, but I ended up with the dressing issue I've had before. I also technically made too much rice, and the proportions were slightly off, but the general idea of a taco rice salad is solid and will definitely get a revisit over Summer.

This week's Mini Media Reviews goeth thusly...

A Chinese Ghost Story. The 2011 version and not the 1987 version, which I think is the one that I actually wanted. But that's on me. I didn't realise there were multiple versions. It was fine, but perhaps not as good as the '87 version would have been. It did suffer slightly from the Saturday evening movie problem of me falling slightly asleep.

The Last Kingdom. The final season. Did I spend a large period of time clutching my heart when I wasn't raging against the villains of the season? Yes, yes I did. Did I tear up basically once an episode? Yes, yes I did. Did the ending montage absolutely wreck me? Yes, yes it did. Did I absolutely love this series? You're damn right I did. Which also led us to...

The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die. Now, the series itself came to a satisfying conclusion. I also get that they still had some story left to tell, and this did round that off. It did also lack some of the depth of the series though, which makes sense comparing a 110 minute movie vs the 547 minutes of the fifth season. Some of the characters who were very definitely major players in that last season do not show up at all, only one of them even gets name checked, which I also understand.

Friday Night DnD actually happened. And we fought a beholder... which is technically a first for me. I mean, I've had a character who got destroyed by a zombie beholder plus fought a couple of others and definitely been there when a regular one got destroyed... but I feel like this is the first time I've actually fought one. Or at least the most memorable.

Bonus moments... Paladin auras for the win. And also the aura that prevents you from being frightened. Being a reborn and thus unable to be put to sleep by magic. Fuck you eye rays 3 and 7 specifically.

Generally speaking we survived. And dived straight into the final part. Or the final lead up to same.

Anyway...

Not a huge amount to report for today. It does amuse me from time to time the amount that we save on any given week... because the receipt very helpfully lists the amount.

But otherwise, just the usual supermarket stuff. 

character saturday: himbo barbarian

We're rolling the clock back for this week's DnD Character Colouring Book, because I realised that this has been sitting in the CCB folder since 2024.

Garrr is from our previous Friday Night DnD Campaign, an in-joke that turned into a creative exercise on my part. As often happens. I still really like both the face on Garrr, but also the way those particular boots sit with that pose. And while that sword is generally too dumb to actually use for a character, I do really like it, and it makes complete sense for Garrr.

Honestly, he might get recycled at some point if I ever decide to actually play a full himbo.

Anyway...

I think we're at the end of Soup Season. Thus the last soup was my minestrone. And now I have to relearn how to make dry soup, aka salad.

Mini Media Reviews for this week goeth as follows...

Lilies. Thank you random Instagram post. This was a gay movie from the 90's that I'd never actually heard of, which is somewhat rare. The premise is slightly odd, and it took me a second to really work out who everybody from the past actually was in the present, but I don't know if that was me or if it was intentional. It's an interesting one, if only for the fact that, because of the premise, all the roles are played by men both in the present and the past.

Mother Mary. I really loved this. I don't wanna give anything away, but I kind of enjoyed the first half a lot more than the second half. Hathaway and Cole are both phenomenal though. The whole thing is pretty much a two hander, and would absolutely work as a play. Also the costumes... the COSTUMES.

The Last Kingdom. Season Four... only one season and the movie left to go. I am really loving this show, and I'll definitely be sad when it ends. So many good characters, so many hateable characters. So, so good.

Camelot. Friday was very much a smooth brain day. And no DnD, and no Movie Night. So I needed something to fill in my evening. That didn't require large amounts of brain or effort. And even though this was three hours long, it made the most sense to me. And Fluffy ended up simulcasting it along with me, which was nice. We didn't specifically set out to do that, but I made a comment early on and found he was also watching it. And speaking of costumes... goddamn. I don't honestly know how John Truscott (who also did the production design) managed to make that many shades of orange, brown and yellow all work so well, but he definitely did. The number of times it would cut to a new scene and either Fluffy or I would decree "THAT OUTFIT" over Discord. Are all the songs instantly forgettable? Yes. Is our supposedly French but actually Italian Lancelot both over emoting and also having his singing being dubbed? Yes. Is Richard "Dumbledore" Harris chewing the scenery in a terrible wig/haircut/eyeshadow? Absolutely. Does the movie just kind of end? Definitely. But it was still an enjoyable evening.

But like I said, no Friday Night DnD due to random sickness or proximity to same.

Anyway...

Not really a lot of excitement today either. Basically just the supermarket.

character saturday: witch of the north

I hadn't originally intended to add to my Wizard of Oz themed foursome... but honestly, all heroes need a villain. And I got a little inspired for this week's DnD Character Colouring Book.

Now this isn't the Wicked Witch of the West... this is either an entirely new Wicked Witch from the North, or else a reinterpretation of a witch that shows up in the later books, Mombi, who was a previous Wicked Witch of the North, and also described as "not a very powerful sorceress by nature" and also "dedicated her long-life to the magic arts and has mastered the art of black magic due to lots and lots of practice". So, wizard made perfect sense. And Mombi also has a penchant for "transfiguration"... thus, the Transmuter. 

The brooch allows her to not only cast Alter Self, but lets her put an illusion over her outfit. The spellbook can't be damaged by "fire or water", which seemed useful.

And because she was the Wicked Witch of the North, that puts her in Gillikin...

The Gillikins prefer the color purple in their landscape, clothing and general surroundings as purple is the Gillikin mascot color that represents them and their land on Oz's official map and flag.

So a purple themed tiefling made the most sense. Chthonic tiefling meant she could be descended from a Night Hag, which also felt right given the colouring and also just hags in general. And yes, she is based on a previous tiefling character, Pain.

Jack will be familiar to anybody who has seen Return to Oz. He shows up in the later books, but he is a construct brought to life by Mombi. And I went back and forth as to what Jack actually is in universe. At first I thought golem, but the ones that made sense tend to be large creatures. He could really be many things, up to and including a fancy familiar (but it's really only the Warlock that gets access to a skeleton familiar, which would also work). So I just went with the "domestic robot" from one of the recent books. It's the closest thing that really works.

He was also originally in a more canonical Jack outfit... purple trousers, a pink shirt and a red vest. But the black just made sense when I put him next to the Witch.

I've also played with this pumpkin man idea once before, but I like this version much more now that we can modify the bodies. He should probably be much taller than her, but I just figure she's a little unnaturally tall also.

Anyway...

Soup this week was the Tomato Chicken soup I've made previously, but this was with little tiny pasta instead of rice. Very good... and it actually worked cold on the day that it was too warm to be bothered heating it up.

Mini Media Reviews for this week goeth thusly (it was an All Movie Week)...

Phantom of the Paradise. A camp extravaganza that I've actually seen before, but I had mentioned it to Fluffy recently as being a movie that existed, and he watched it and enjoyed it, so I wanted to revisit it. Decent. Although the songs aren't as memorable or earwormy as something like Rocky Horror.

Black Adam. This movie has literally no idea what it wants to be. Is it an anti-hero movie? Are we supposed to care about any of these characters? Is it a "Colonialism is Bad, M'kay" movie? Is it just another plotless DC Smashathon? Yes, the last one. It's the last one. It's a bit of a formless mess which feels like it's stealing other movie's homework.

Frankenstein's Bride. If you know what The Asylum is when it comes to terrible movies, you'll understand why I was both amused and terrified when their name popped up at the start of this. Was it made for about $1.50 with a lot of terrible actors? Yes. Did the end of the movie degenerate into an AI generated slopfest? Absofuckinglutely. Was the movie definitely filmed in Australia, and possibly even South Australia? Definitely the former, very probably the latter. Were all of the shots very tight on the actors so they didn't show things like street signs, cars, shops, people's houses, etc? For certain. Is the whole thing entirely stupid? Absolutely. Was the script better than I was expecting? Also yes. Was I entertained the entire time? Essentially, yes. The aforementioned slopfest notwithstanding. Do I recommend it? Oh, hell no.

Deadpool and Wolverine. It's very clear that Ryan Reynolds love this character. And comic book characters in general. And the history of Marvel movies thus far. Also that he takes literally none of it seriously. The first five minutes where both Disney and the Logan movie got royally pissed all over in the best way. And the movie does take a little while before it really finds it's stride. But tell me why I got emotional at the end, especially during the end credits.

Poor Things. Essentially this is a fairy tale. A weird, fucked up, adult fairy tale. With a lot of nudity. And amazing costumes, sets and general production design. Interestingly, I did expect the movie to fall over the edge into "abusing women" given that it's set in the 1880's... but it never actually does, which was refreshing. Emma Stone is amazing in the lead role, Mark Ruffalo likewise does wonderfully.

Chaos Walking. Toxic Masculinity: The Movie. They also saddle Daisy Ridley with a horrendous blonde wig. You do get to see Tom Holland's naked ass though, so not a total loss. Seriously though, this suffers a little bit from having been adapted from a young adult trilogy. Holland and Ridley's characters are supposed to be 12 or 13 year olds, there's a completely pointless addition of an alien species that shows up for five minutes and plays no actual role in the movie. And the main reveal of the story really could not be telegraphed any harder. See also toxic masculinity.

9 to 5. Fluffy and I have been intending to do this on one of our movie nights for a while now, but with Dolly's passing in August, it shot to the top of the list. I've seen it many times before, but it's always fun watching Fluffy encounter things for the first time. Still a great movie, even more so considering it was Dolly's first film and, I think, only Lily Tomlin's second movie.

I also played some Hitman 2. It's the kind of game I like, but I've also seem other people play it quite a lot, so some of it doesn't feel especially new. But I'm still having fun with it.

As previously indicated, there was no Friday Night DnD this week, but Fluffy and I still did Movie Night, so it wasn't completely wasted.

Anyway...

Today was the usual supermarket adventures... after which we took a ride down to Big W, mostly for the Looking At Things. I did want to look through their Christmas stuff, and while they had the thing I wanted, after seeing it in person, it didn't actually work for what I wanted. I did find some new slip-on shoes, so I grabbed those. And Ma tried on a bunch of dresses, none of which worked for her.

character saturday: warforged woodsman

And now we reach the final member of our Oz themed DnD Character Colouring Book quartet. The Tin Woodsman. Which is also, in my opinion, the least successful of the four.

The idea is incredibly solid. A warforged is already a tinman/robot man. I thought about a Fighter, but there's just something about the Tin Woodsman that just says Paladin to me. Vengeance tracks with both the subclass idea that it's "a solemn commitment to punish those who have committed grievously evil acts"... plus the slight in-joke that their first tenet is "show the wicked no mercy". But it also felt right with the idea of him lacking a heart originally.

This is the second version of the design though. I originally pushed it further than this, went more in a slightly left field direction, a little like the Scarecrow from last week. But he ended up just being a "dude in armor with a full helmet covering his face" and it didn't quite work. There's also the weirdness between him being a woodsman and not actually a solider, despite the fact that he's covered in armor basically.

Likewise his magic items weren't as interesting. The axe just does more damage and you get some temp HP, which is nice. The enspelled armor just means he gains an extra spell up to 6 times a day, which is nice. The spell is probably Pass Without Trace, since that helps with the "being made of metal and wearing armor" while stealthing of at all. But I also kind of like the idea of Lesser Restoration since it lets you remove the Blinded, Deafened, Paralyzed, or Poisoned conditions. 

Anyway...

We strayed over to the land of Tuna Morney again this week. And, yes, a proper morney in that I remembered to actually put cheese in it. I did add a bunch of rice to the mix though, so the thing kind of got very thick when it came to the reheating. I also made quite a lot of it (partially due to the rice).

This week's Mini Media Reviews goeth thusly...

Thoroughly Modern Millie. A two and a half hour long musical containing about 45 minutes of plot. Fifteen minutes of that happens in the first half hour, the other 30 doesn't happen until the end of the movie. I was mostly bored out of my mind. At best that should be about a 85 minute movie.

Fahrenheit 451. The 2018 remake, not the 1966 version. This was just bad. They really missed most of the point. They turned the main character into a social media star, they got rid of the wife. And the "love story" kinda ends up being between Michael B Jordan's Montag and Michael Shannon's Beatty. But it's really all subtext. Plus introducing the idea of e-books just kind of defeats the idea of the story in the first place. If you can basically pirate a book via an electronic copy, the idea of (spoilers for a 73 year old book and a 60 year old movie) having a single person memorise a book becomes very stupid.

The Last Kingdom - Season 3. God I love this show. I love Uhtred, son of Uhtred. Just a big world of yes.

Friday was Chiro Day... which also meant it was Wandering Around Looking At Things Day. Only that meant that I actually had things to look at. Specifically movies at the library, and then finding a new hair/beard trimmer (thank you Target).

Friday Night DnD was just slogging away at yet another dungeon. And we were all a little loopy by a certain point.

Anyway...

Not much very exciting to report from today... we did the usual Supermarketry. 

As we were on our way to the checkout, I switched direction because somebody else took the checkout I had been headed to... and this random older woman going the other way just said "That is the best packed trolley I've ever seen" to me as she walked past. Was it? Kinda. It was full and there were some boxes that made things look more organised than it was... but still... I know I got the skills... and it was nice to just have random validation from a stranger on a Saturday morning in the supermarket.

But that was it really.