my subconscious mind

Sunday, April 30, 2006

sex on the brainYour subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your sex life

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your sex life. But it's also possible that thoughts and feelings about your sexual encounters have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may wish your sex life were more satisfying, or you may worry that you're not good enough in bed. Perhaps you have conflicts about your sex life or you feel preoccupied with sex. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

What's Really on Your Mind?

Yeah, big surprise... but on the up side, I actually am aware of it...

Current Mood: in a weird mood, but thats all about work tomorrow

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space cadet

Saturday, April 29, 2006

space cadetI'm officially a big freakin space cadet...

After coffee with Marc on Wednesday I said I was going to hang out until after this upcoming week of work, and then send him a message about getting together for some playtime...

But he was on Gaydar tonight, and I figured, what's the harm... I'll just send him a message, ask him if he's interesting in coming to play... coz then at least I'll have some clue after having gotten no clue on Wednesday...

So I did... coz I'm a big lame space cadet... essentially just saying "hi, thanks for coffee, if you wanna come play, that's cool".

And the message I got back from him was almost like it was written in reply to a completely different message than the one I sent... but he mentioned that he was going to the Bears in the Mist night at the sauna tomorrow, if I was interested... and then he seemed to ramble off about some guy he'd been messaging back and forth with... which all pretty much sounded like he was trying to let me know gently that he wasn't interested, but then there was the sauna thing, so I was confused...

This was my reply...

Okay, I'm officially confused... No, I don't think you did tell me anything about the guy you'd been messaging... but I'm guessing that you're interested in pursuing something with him... and while you seem to be happy to hook up with me at the sauna, you don't want to hook up with me in a sexual way outside of that environment... does that about sum it up?

See... me... blunt as a wrecking ball to the forehead...

I've tried subtle in the past... but subtle just doesn't work for me, never has... and blunt, blunt just gets the job done... and there's none of that endless messing about...

Anyway, that message resulted in him calling me (I think just because it was going to be easier to have the conversation "live" than try and play message tag)... and, well... basically my whole brain just came spilling out of my mouth...

Fortunately, a lot of the stuff that was in my brain had already been aired out here in the blog, so large chunks of it were slightly more organised than they would otherwise have been... if I hadn't had that opportunity then I think I could quite easily have sounded like more of a space cadet than I ended up sounding...

But yeah, I told him that I wanted to have "a bunch of sex" with him (almost a direct quote actually... which got a laugh from him, as well as a comment about how much he likes people who are honest), and that if we ended up as friends on top of the "bunch of sex" thing then that was pretty much the best of both worlds as far as I was concerned. And once my brain started pumping words straight out of my mouth, no passing go, no collecting $200... they pretty much all just followed each other in a big messy rush... I said that the fact we hadn't discussed any of this stuff at coffee hadn't helped, and that because it was a very "friend" kind of conversation it didn't help me work out what he wanted... so I didn't know what I wanted...

When I get nervous, I babble... when I get excited, I babble... when I see an opportunity to tell someone something important that I haven't had a chance to discuss with them previously, I babble... this was all of these things... hence... I was a babblin' fool...

Then finally, thank goodness, I ran out of babble...

Now that it was actually his turn to say something, he was quite quick to let me know that he was interested in some playtime, but as he mentioned that second time at the sauna, he liked to make completely sure that the other person could separate their feelings from their sexual organs... and I quite truthfully told him that at this point, that wasn't an issue... what I didn't tell him was that a little like my relationship with J, I'm both attracted to him, and slightly annoyed by him in equal quantities.

To some people I'm sure that wouldn't actually make sense... why would I want to spend time with someone, much less have sex with someone, when they annoy me... well, with J it's useful, because it stops me from getting overly attached to him in a bad way... and I hope the same thing holds true for Marc... that slight annoyance will allow me to separate the sexual and emotional feelings fairly easily I think.

I also told him that I was probably more interested in the whole "friends with benefits" or fuckbuddy thing than going backwards and trying to just be friends, because, once I've crossed that sexual boundary, trying to keep to "just friends" never quite works out for me...

Although, I think I would probably the "friends with benefits" thing rather than the fuckbuddy thing, since the latter is purely sexual, whereas the FWB thing, as Single Guy mentioned in one of his posts, is an entirely different animal (although he calls it "friends with privileges" rather than benefits)...

Friends with privileges are not fuck buddies. There is a friendship and a connection that is not found in no strings fuck buddies. The advantages of friends with privileges is that sex is easy and comfortable, without all the pressures and limitations of a relationship. Also, friends are more accepting than strangers. If you have a strange birthmark or love handles, you will not feel the need to conceal your physical flaws.

I also really like his definition for FWB...

You are my friend, just like all the rest of my friends. I eat pizza with you, watch TV and play video games. The difference is that you have privileges and you can tear off my clothes at any given moment and make crazy sex to me. I will think nothing of it and just go with the flow.

But back to the topic at hand... as I suspected, Marc's being triple cautious at the moment because he's essentially Rebound Guy (having only ended his last relationship late last year) and wants to enjoy the single thing for the time being, which I completely respect.

So, yeah... now that I know where we both stand, I'm going to stick with the original plan, and message him next weekend to see what's what...

Current Mood: at least now I know what's goin on

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new jeans

new jeans, pocket detailI've commented a few times that since I started my daily walks way back in October, my jeans don't fit me quite so well, and in fact, keep sliding off me... and since denim stretches with wear anyway, they just keep getting worse and worse until I dump them in the wash...

So it's occured to me for a while that I probably need new jeans, but I haven't gotten around to it as yet... and then when I did take a look in Target, they didn't seem to have any of the stylish jeans in funky washes etc that they've had in the past, just the really boring and ugly "regular" kind... no thank you!

But, as the picture over there on the right confirms (not to mention this blog title), I got me some funky new jeans today, complete with interesting pocket detail... the patch is actually a cut out section with the other fabric used to cover it... not entirely sure what's up with it, but it looks groovy.

And I'm happy to report I went down a size (although I'm not sharing from what to what)... possibly helped slightly by the fact that the new jeans are "relaxed fit", so they're not overly tight anyway... and it would have been nice to go down a couple of sizes... but still, you should never look a gift equine in the oral region... so, yaaaay me...

Current Mood: cheerful

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photo friday: fence monkey

Friday, April 28, 2006

fence monkey 2006I guess this Photo Friday most closely links back to the What The? post I did back in October last year just after I got my camera...

And yes... that is a legless, gutted, toy monkey impaled on a fence...

Lemme explain...

Yesterday, during the home straight of my walk, I took a detour off to the shops, since I needed some bread to top this beef stew thing that I made for dinner (it came out okay, not great, and not worth posting the recipe, but it was okay), so since I was there, I grabbed a Famers Union Iced Coffee at the supermarket and then got a fresh Continental Baguette (ie French Stick) from Baker's Delight, then wandered home again, taking the same shortcut that I take when I'm on my way home from Camera Club...

On a brief side note, it was really cool wandering home like that at 8 am, carrying incredibly fresh bread (which ended up being used for breakfast, lunch AND as the topping for dinner) and an Iced Coffee on a cloudy if pleasantly warm morning... I can't explain it, it was just one of those moments when you take a deep breath and think everything is just right with the world.

But back to Fence Monkey... as I wandered past the front of the church compound where Camera Club meetings are held, I noticed this little guy impaled on the fence... and I just had to take a shot of him... I'd love to know what the story was... he's obviously been violated (his legs are gone, although his tail remains intact), but he's obviously a little trouper, because he's still smiling...

And, that building to the right of him, where you can just see the map on the wall... that's were we have Camera Club meetings.

I have to say that seeing Fence Monkey actually reminded me of the Little Bear Lost shot TheOtherAndrew did a while back...

Current Mood: amused by the monkey

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random blonde hotness

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Yep, another hot blonde model for this week's Random Hotness... this time, Australia's own Nick Potts. While I don't technically have a hair colour preference (well, except maybe the redhead thing), there is just something about a sexy blonde guy... and Nick certainly fits that description...

nick pottsnick potts

Current Mood: mmmmmm hotness

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coffee with marc

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

ahhh latteI now officially do not know where I'm at...

I had coffee with Marc... it was pleasant... we chatted for about an hour and a half... mostly about random stuff, work related stuff... his work, some stuff about places I used to work... it was all pretty freakin random...

We met at the assigned spot at the assigned time... went in search of a mail box so I could post something... then went to grab a coffee... and because it's the first cafe you get to on Rundle Street and because I've lived out too many major scenes, good and bad, in my life in there, we went to the same cafe that I first had a meal and a conversation with Lownee...

He paid for coffee... not sure if that's because he remembered I said I was broke, or if that's just the kind of guy he is... but I just went with it and let him buy me a latte (he did ask initially if I wanted a cappuccino, and I did have a very snobbish thought process for a moment, and the thought did run through my head... what do I look like, a peasant?... but I just told him I'd have a latte and that was that)... and then we sat out on the sidewalk all al fresco like (which was pleasant, because it was actually a fairly nice afternoon/evening), and like I said, talked about fairly random crap... there wasn't even a chance for me to be overly blunt boy... whether by design (on his part) or if it was just the way the conversation developed.

It was odd... it was a very "new friend" conversation... and decidedly lacking in sexual tension... but whether that was because we've already gone past that point, or whether it was just because of way the conversation went, I don't know... I mean, I was even wearing "good" underwear, just in case it came to that... but it didn't... I can't even say I'm that disappointed that it didn't... I mean it would have been nice, but m'eh...

However, he did walk me to my car, whatever that means... and he did say that I knew where to find him on Saturday... but I have no intention of going, even if I could afford it, which I can't... that was the whole purpose of seeing him outside of the sauna environment... to actually see him outside of that environment, which comes with the added bonus of not having to watch him having sex with other people... which, theoretically I shouldn't have a problem with... but in practice, I kind of like less.

So I still don't know what I want, and I don't even know what he wants, which might help me work out what I want...

I think after I've done that week of work next week, I'll text message him and ask he wants to come over here to chat and "play"... see what he says... can't hurt right?

As a quick side note, when did Adelaide suddenly get a large population of punky, gothy, tattooed, emo-eske, teenaged sideshow freaks? There just seemed to be 100 billion of them go past us as we sat outside the cafe... even though there were a bunch of the same ones that seemed to go past us three or four times...

Very strange...

Current Mood: caffinated and confused

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well, he called

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

my phone... except not black unfortunatelyAfter my whinging last Saturday and sending Marc the message I shouldn't have, he actually called me tonight like he said he was going to... and he actually called today instead of tomorrow too... which I had kind of expected him to do if he called me at all.

So that must be a bonus, right...

I'm meeting him in town for coffee tomorrow, so we'll have to wait and see.

That first conversation we had was really easy and really comfortable (and conducted in towels), so I guess I'm kind of hoping that this one is as easy and as comfortable (although with more clothing)...

I just can't decide whether I just want to be friends with him, or friends with additional benefits, or just something purely sexual... I guess of the three, the middle one would be the nicest... but a lot of that depends on him I guess.

Current Mood: mostly okay

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ikea kinda scares me

Monday, April 24, 2006

swedish stylingOk... it's true... Ikea kind of scares me...

I just got back from my first up close and personal with the Ikea Experience... and it's not so much the products, as the store I guess... and how full it was... and the fact we were in the store for three hours...

Granted the store only opened on Thursday of last week... and granted it's the day between a weekend and a public holiday... and granted it's also school holidays... and granted we showed up about half an hour after the store opened for the day... but it was SO full of people, it was just disturbing...

I was very good though, I only had two mini breakdowns, one because of the people and one because Ma permanently trails about 10 steps behind me when we're out shopping and it just gets on my nerves after a while...

Even getting into the store was a drama... first there were "traffic marshals" waving traffic around to where there were empty carparks... which was a little annoying, but did mean we got a park not that far from the entrance with little or no drama... then, when we made our way to the entrance, there was basically this "maze" in the way, to control the rate of people flooding into the building... you know the ones, the kind they have in cartoons about theme parks and bank queues... where you go all the way to the left... turn... all the way to the right... turn... all the way to the left...

Fortunately this one was actually moving pretty well otherwise I think we would have just chucked the idea in and gone elsewhere... I did say that I thought maybe they only had the maze there to see if we were actually stoopid enough to fall for it and follow everyone else through it, which got a laugh from the couple behind us.

When we finally did make it into the store we went up the escalator with all the other sheep... sorry, customers... and then started to follow said sheep... sorry, customers... through the store as commanded by the almighty floor arrows and Ikea signage... until I got bored with that and decided that I didn't want to be a sheep (the aforementioned first mini breakdown) and follow everyone else and get more and more annoyed (since that was what was bound to happen), but instead Ma and I turned tail and went the OPPOSITE way to all the signage... which actually worked really well... we were moving against the tide of people instead of trying to force our way along with all the other sheep... so it was kind of easier to get where we were going. Plus we also cut through a couple of the displays at one stage, avoiding the sheep on the walkways.

I actually heard one man, there with his wife and grown up daughter (well, she we in her late teens, early 20's anyway) say "We have to go this way, because this is the way the arrows point" while looking at one of the store maps... SHEEP!

Overall I don't mind a lot of Ikea's stuff... sure, a large amount of it is blonde wood and some of it is a little scary, but there's a lot of interesting and innovative little ideas... like using plastic for cupboard doors or wardrobe inserts instead of glass... or letting you mix and match your choice of table top and table legs...

But at the same time a lot of it just looks very much the same, that you could end up with a lot of people who's houses all look fairly similar. And then there's the whole "flatpack/build it yourself" thing, which I've never been a huge fan of.

We had planned on hitting the Ikea restaurant... having some Swedish Meatballs, maybe a little Princess Cake (I kid you not... it's called Princess Cake, it's bright green, and it actually looks pretty fabulous... no idea how it tastes though)... but like everywhere else in the Ikea store, there were about a billion people in the restaurant... not only sitting and eating, but also lined up to get food... so we decided against that as a plan.

On the plus side, the two different staff members I asked about the locations of things were polite, knowledgeable and eager to help... I wonder how long it will be before that wears off...

Current Mood: a little tired and footsore, but mostly okay

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more monday musings

Mmmmm... Weetbix with hot milk... the winter breakfast of champions... and my childhood... hot, sticky, gluey, mushy mess that it is... (the Weetbix, not my childhood)

There's no Monday Montage this week... not only did I not have anything prepared, but when I went for my walk this morning with the full intention of either finishing up a montage that I'm working on, or else just taking a random shot like I did the last time I didn't have a montage... but alas, when I fired up the camera towards the beginning of the walk... "Warning Battery Exhausted"... stoopid thing... it's been threatening to go flat for the last couple of weeks, but like with all things electronic, it waits until it's actually needed...

When I was whinging on Saturday, I said that my back was playing up... it's still not right... and I had a slight panic on Sunday morning when I woke up and found that I was having trouble even getting out of bed, and once I was up, neither standing straight or sitting or anything could be done without pain... I had visions of spending the whole of Sunday in the emergency room (which I've done before, but for other, slightly more pressing things like swollen knees and dislocated shoulders)... but it was still really early, and I figured there was no point in panicking that early, so I parked myself in front of the computer, sitting up as straight and in as painless a position as possible, while I went through my Blogroll and other things. When I finally stood up maybe an hour and a half later, like magic my back was better... not fixed... but better, I could at least stand up without pain.

This morning wasn't as bad as Sunday, but it wasn't perfect... but hopefully I think going out and doing my walk will help get any last kinks out of my back *crosses fingers*... We'll see I guess...

Part of the reason I'm kinda stressing about it (other than the fact its a literal and figurative pain) is that I'm working next week, and spending a whole week doing pretty much nothing but sitting in someone else's computer chair never does wonders for my back, so it would be nice to start with it in a halfway decent condition.

Because tomorrow is Anzac Day, Ma decided to take today off and have another four day weekend (after Easter last week), and we've decided to go and check out Adelaide's brand new Ikea store... which should be either interesting, amusing or just plain scary... hopefully a ton of other people haven't also decided to go for the four day weekend and a visit to the land of blonde Swedish furniture...

I had another little bout of Melbourne-nostalgia yesterday watching a documentary about street art (graffiti, stencil art, stickers) in Melbourne... it made me almost want to move to Melbourne so I would be able to photograph a lot of the really cool stuff that they were showing... a lot of the stuff that was actually "art" was really really good and definitely worth photographing...

Oh, speaking of teevee, Australia's latest season of Big Brother started last night... now, I mentioned at the end of last year's season that I'd kind of been hooked the last three years, but I have to say I don't think I'll be going out of my way to watch it this year... yes, I will probably watch a bunch of it, but where if conflicts with other things I'll probably pass... like last night, I watched the first half of the two hour meet and greet, then flicked over and watched CSI instead. Part of the reason I don't know how fussed I am is that they didn't learn their lesson from last year, and the house is full of supposedly beautiful people again... there's a former international model, an exotic dancer, a personal trainer... and that's just the men... but to be honest there wasn't one of them that I thought, "Hey, you seem like a nice person"... they seemed to be a lot like last year, completely self absorbed... which is probably a prerequisite for auditioning for the show in the first place, but I'm still over it... and they haven't even bothered to add a gayboy to the mix the last three years (at least I don't think they have this year, nobody seemed gay from what I saw)...

Like I said before, my favourite season was Season Three, where they actually had real people (and some of them even managed to be beautiful)... and they can't even say that that was a boring season... that was the first time anywhere in the world that somebody voluntarily left the Big Brother House... that place was dripping with drama... ah well...

Current Mood: smile

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how i live my life

Sunday, April 23, 2006

How You Life Your Life


You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.

You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.


Current Mood: been better

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another whinge

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Yep... I'm having a whinge again...

The latter half of this week has just been like that really... which is less fun overall...

Because my virus software took a billion years to download, and it was so huge, I got an email from my ISP again saying "You have 250MB remaining this month"... grrrr... so now I have to be careful about my useage until Wednesday... which is part of the reason I didn't get online until late this afternoon.

In related screwups, it seems like my computer is working a little slower with this new software on it... yaaaay, that's like the last thing I actually need... I'm hoping it's actually NOT running slower and it's all part of my overactive imagination... but somehow I doubt it.

The other screw up seems to be that suddenly I can't get profiles to open on the Australian version of Gaydar (stoopid java autoloading thing)... going through the gaydar.co.uk version doesn't seem to give me a problem, just the gaydar.com.au one... *sigh*

And to top it all off, I either slept funny last night, or something, because when I got up this morning my back started hurting... I had this problem a few weeks ago (although I don't know that I mentioned it then)... and I think it might have started on a weekend too... don't know if its a coincidence, or if it's because those are the two days I have off from my walk or what... but I like it less really... especially since it hurts to stand fully upright rather than to bend over... the latter I could probably deal with better... but this whole inability to stand upright thing is a killer.

And if that all wasn't bad enough, I just noticed that Marc is online on Gaydar too... *pokes myself in the eye for a while*

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER: God, I am such a big lamo... after I swore to myself I wouldn't message Marc, what did I just to... yeah, you got it... messaged him. At this point I don't know that I really care WHAT answer I get back, so long as I get some kind of answer... at this point a no is better than not knowing... I think...

THIRTY MINUTES LATER: Okay... so Marc just called me... and I'm officially confused... the part of me that was happy to hear from him was kind of at war with the part of my that was busily quoting the "He's Just Not That Into You" thing that I've mentioned a few times. He said I'd been on his mind, but he'd been busy... which is kind of at war with my thought of "how busy do you need to be to not be able to make a phone call?"... and would he actually ever have called if I hadn't "run into him" (okay, I deliberately messaged him, but it comes out to the same thing)... which is kind of why I didn't want to message him, I didn't want him to call me, or want to catch up with me just because I messaged him, rather than because he wanted to. He's supposedly going to call me on Tuesday or Wednesday so we can catch up and go for coffee... we'll have to see what happens.

Current Mood: i'm just craptastic...

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photo friday: autumn colour

Friday, April 21, 2006

autumn colour 2006Since Autumn has definately hit with a vengance around my neck of the woods (unlike some people who are enjoying the balmy warmth of an Indian Summer), I decided it was probably time to start documenting the change of seasons.

I took this on my walk a couple of days ago... every time I go past it, it just jumps out at me, but I don't know if the photo actually does it justice. I just love all the different coloured leaves on the blanket of green... dunno why, it just really appeals.

Current Mood: okay, but a little chilly

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norton nightmare

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Oh for the love of Benji (I blame Futurama for introducing that line into my vocabulary... I really really do)...

Talk about the installation that would not end...

At 3:03pm this afternoon I purchased the new version of Norton Internet Security 2006, since the version that I've been using for the last four years (and have been very happy with, since it's done everything I wanted it to do and has mostly stayed out of my face while doing it) is suddenly no longer available for updates, forcing me to purchase the new whizz bang version with far too many bells and whistles for my liking...

It's now after 10pm, and with one thing and another I am only just getting back online after the installation and all the stuff it wanted to do are finished...

Yup, that's right... SEVEN HOURS!

The program itself took about an hour and a half to download, running at like 4-5kb per second... for what reason I have no idea... I wasn't even running anything else at the time... then I had to start the installation not once, not twice, not three times... but FOUR times...

The first time I was running a Spyware detection program that Norton told me I had to uninstall (no problem, I never use it anyway, and the new program comes with Spyware detectors)... the second time I had to uninstall the 2002 version of Norton (okay, not sure why the 2006 version couldn't just install over the top and use any existing files that were appropriate, like the virus definitions for example)... the third time it was telling me that there was another installer running, which was impossible because I'd just rebooted the computer and there was NOTHING running... so I ended up having to use the reset button, because the computer wouldn't shut down... but then finally it loaded the damn program.

Then I had to reboot the computer for like the millionth time...

And because Norton takes about a thousand years to start itself up I'd already gotten it to start downloading the new virus definitions (again) and the new whizzbang "Protection Software" kicked in, and was trying to do the same thing, so ended up with an error because it's left hand didn't know what it's right hand was doing...

So I had to reboot... AGAIN...

After which I just left it, let it start up in it's own good time... and it had to redownload all of the virus definitions and whatnot that I already had on my computer since my old virus software had been merrily downloading them until today...

Once it finally managed that, it wanted to do a full system scan... I HATE full system scans... I have far too much crap on my computer and they always take forever... this one certainly did... it scanned just under 115000 files, and it took TWO HOURS to do it...

By which time it was 10pm...

BAH!

Having said that though, it did pick up a single incident of one of those W32 Worm virus thingies on my computer... so that's a bonus, even if the rest of the process was like pulling teeth...

Added to that was the added annoyance that because I wasn't online I got a phonecall on my landline... now, my landline NEVER gets used... I'm pretty much online with it all the time... so, to be honest, I don't even recognise the phone when it rings... I actually thought it was something on the DVD commentary I was watching and expected them to say something about it... when they didn't I finally twigged that it was my phone... after all that, as though yesterday's run in with pushy sales reps wasn't enough, the phonecall was from some poor shmuck at Telstra telling me that because I was such a good customer they wanted to offer me some deal... I didn't even let him tell me what the deal was, I just told him I wasn't interested and hung up.

Today was just the mindfuck that would not end...

Current Mood: just plain cranky

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random emersive hotness

Today's Random Hotness comes via Tottyworld, and features a couple of the guys from the Emersive 2006 Hott Guys Calendar (Emersive being the "premiere new media group", whatever that means, of Emerson College in Boston). Some of the calendar boys are so so, but I thought these two were cute (plus, from the way I position the images, it kinda looks like they're staring across at each other *grin*).

marchjanuary

Current Mood: mmmmmm hotness

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why do they feel the need to bother me?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

If there's one thing I hate more than telecommunication or utility companies calling me to offer me some stupid ass deal, merging my bills, unmerging my bills, switching this, swapping that (fortunately because I'm online most of the time I don't get those calls anymore)... it's when they come to my door and want to talk to me.

And worse than that, when they send people who's English isn't clear...

Indian call centers are one thing... Indian doorknockers, that's something else altogether.

I just had one on my doorstep... from the gas company, wanting to tell me about what would happen if my elecricity billing came through them... only he wasn't explaining himself all that well and I couldn't hear everything he was saying because of his accent... so I just said "what is it you're offering?", and when he said it was combining the bills I just told him I wasn't interested and closed the door on him.

I'm really glad I saw him headed towards my door before he got a phonecall and diverted away again, that way I was able to stand out there and wait for him and didn't actually have to get up to answer the door.

Grrrr... it's just so rude... look, if you want to offer me something, send me all the details in a letter... something I can read, review and then discard if I'm not interested (which I won't be)... don't send people to my house... I'm never going to say yes to them, or even care what it is they want to tell me... I've been caught with that crap too many times.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, the Pink album rocks!

Current Mood: not impressed

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movies: ice age: the meltdown

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

ice age: the meltdown - the pack is backLet's review, shall we...

Ice Age: The Meltdown...

Sequel. PG movie. School Holidays.

While this was not the worst idea known to man, it could possibly have been better. And that goes for the timing of seeing this movie as well as the movie itself.

I like the original Ice Age... it's cute and sweet and has a good story and is something we haven't seen before (the time period... mammoths and mammals as opposed to the dinosaurs)...

The sequel... well, they didn't exactly strain any braincells trying to make it better than the original.

It was also fairly obvious that they actually ran out of real story, because between "real" scenes, they would keep coming back to Scrat (the prehistoric squirrel thing in the poster up there) and having sometimes quite lengthy scenes with him. Don't get me wrong, some of his scenes are actually really funny... especially the first couple... but after I while I just kind of though "yeah, Scrat, we get it... lets get back to the story"... okay, I didn't think it at the time, but I'm thinking it now.

Other than the Scrat bits, I have to say that probably the best two sequences were the two "musical numbers"... the mini-sloths... and the vultures. Although I really enjoyed the vulture sequence, I actually did think at the time... "Why are we suddenly having a musical number?"... it just seemed a little tacked on. Funny... but kind of like padding. A bit like the "villains" of the story really... they will probably scare the pants off little kids, but they were almost completely unnecessary, and also felt a little like padding or that they had been tacked on.

I can't make my mind up whether the quality of the CG was better or worse than the original... I probably should have original today so I had something to compare it to, but, alas, I didn't. The sequel did seem both more advanced and less "polished"... some of the dry fur effects on the mammoths were really good... especially the short soft fur on Manny's trunk, that looked completely touchable... but at the same time, the wet fur just ended up looking a little plastic.

And the "big water effect" towards the end of the movie was just hideous... once the water had stopped splashing around, the surface of it was perfect, but the big falling water shot, forget it... train wreck.

In the end, it was what it was... but unfortunately it didn't start out being a whole lot in the first place. It did have it's moments though.

yani's rating: 7 mini-sloths out of 10

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free stuff

pink - i'm not deadI love free stuff....

I especially love getting free stuff when I've forgotten I even asked for it...

I just got home from the movies (more on that later), and checked my email, only to find an email from our local gay paper, Blaze (they so need a better website) with the subject line "Re: Pink Album Giveaway"...

Way back at the end of March, after I'd picked up a copy of Blaze during my walk (when I get there in time I "borrow" one from the pile left outside the youth arts center on the corner... saves me having to hunt one up from somewhere else), I noticed a contest to win a copy of Pink's new album I'm Not Dead... and all I had to do was email them... so I did... and I won a copy...

Yaaaaay me!

Now all I have to do is go and pick it up...

Current Mood: free stuff!

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montage monday: easter

Monday, April 17, 2006

easter 2006Yes, yes... it's Monday again already... so it's Monday Montage time...

No prizes for guessing today's montage theme either... the Red Tulip egg on the right side I bought myself, and the gold Lindt dark chocolate eggs were part of Ma's present, but everything else is mine... and it's not even like I'm eating that much chocolate these days (despite possible evidence to the contrary).

My computer seems to have a mind of it's own at the moment... suddenly it's started "protecting" Flash or other kinda of applets on my screen, and when you mouse over them it highlights them with a grey box and the mouse pointer gets the prompt saying "Click to activate and use this control"... it means I have to click a bunch of things twice... once to "activate them" and once to get them to do whatever it is that they do... stoopid Microsoft...

I had a bird commit suicide on my window yesterday... well, either my window or next door's window... pretty sure it was mine though... I was in here at the computer and heard an almighty bang, came into the living room and couldn't work out what it had been, then thought it might have been someone at my door, so I was having a look through the window to see if I could see anyway, and there it was... birdy... laying on the ground. I figured if it had only stunned itself it would get up and fly off, and if not, there wasn't a whole lot I could do. When I checked back later, dead bird. I ended up scooping it up with a couple of folded up sections of newspaper and throwing it in the bushes... didn't really need to see it decomposing on my doorstep...

I just realised that's possibly a really bad story to tell to go along with a montage of food... oh well...

Oh, and for the record... and as a cautionary tale to everyone... pouring hot milk over Cheerios... REALLY, REALLY bad idea!

Current Mood: hot cheerios... ewww

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happy easter

Sunday, April 16, 2006

it's so wrong, but so hot... happy easter...
Current Mood: bunny!

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i'm a eunuch?

Saturday, April 15, 2006

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

boyish girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.


Current Mood: kinda bored

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toona-noodle-doo

Friday, April 14, 2006

toona noodle doo 2006Now we should all know that I'm not the least little bit "traditionally" religious... or "untraditionally" either really... but some traditions or routines from your childhood just stick... and since today is Good Friday... and all through my childhood we always had some kind of fish on Good Friday (there have been a couple of years where I decided to go completely the opposite way, and eat as much meat as I possibly could... but really, I'm not that big on red meat anyway, so what's the point)... so I'm making something that's NEARLY as much a part of my childhood as that... Tuna Noodle Casserole... and since I've shared various other recipies before (Tuna Mornay, Muffins, Rocky Road), I figured I might as well share this one too...

Oh, and the title of this post is what Ma and I tend to call this dish... I honestly don't know why anymore...

Tuna Noodle Casserole (aka Toona Noodle Doo)

250g pasta shells (cooked)
2 tablespoons margarine
1 finely chopped onion
425g can tuna - drained and flaked
440g can Cream of Celery Soup
½ cup sliced celery
2 eggs (cooked and chopped)
½ cup milk
½ cup grated tasty cheese

Directions

Melt margarine, add onion - cook until transparent. In lightly greased casserole dish combine large shells, tuna, soup, celery, eggs and onion, add milk. Season with salt and pepper. Mix well and top with cheese. Bake in moderate oven at 180ÂșC for 45 mins. or until heated through.

Current Mood: pretty damn contented

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random lars hotness

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Another Random Hotness courtesy of a photograph whose work I really like... this week, Kevin De Borger. I first found his work on the Photosig website, and, obviously his subject matter appeal to me right away! He and I possibly share a problem though (unless it's a style choice on his part)... it's easy enough to get the attractive models to strip down to their underwear, but much harder to find models willing to part with that last tiny piece of cloth. Either way, he has some very hot models... this one is Lars.

lars by kevin de borgerlars by kevin de borger

Current Mood: mmmmmm hotness

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movie lines

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

sam, stitch, dory and coleI made a promise, Mr Frodo. A promise. "Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to. I don't mean to.
Sam - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
Stitch - Lilo & Stitch

I just, I remember things better with you. I do, look. P. Sherman, forty-two... forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home.
Dory - Finding Nemo

She said you came to the place where they buried her. Asked her a question? She said the answer is... "Every day." What did you ask?
Cole - Sixth Sense

These are the four movie lines that are guaranteed to make me cry like a baby... every single time I watch them... and in the case of the Stitch line, I can actually hear it totally on it's own... and it just sets me off... EVERY time. In the case of the Cole line, it's actually that whole sequence, but that one line is usually the worst... and I should know, I just finished watching it...

I'm just a big sook really...

Current Mood: sometimes its good to have a big ol cry

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camera club judge for a night

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Something slightly different at Camera Club tonight... it was the competition for B Grader portraiture... a contest I never actually got a chance to enter, since the competition is always in April, I started at the club at the beginning of May, and got promoted up to A Grade at the end of that year, so never got a crack at the trophy...

*mutter*

But, being an A Grader does mean that we get to be judges for the night and all score the images from the B Graders... Oh the power! Well, okay, not really... but it's nice to be able to score things how I think they should be scored. But again, like with all things Camera Club, the predictable and the "safe" always seem to win... okay, and female models too...

The winning entry and the two runners up were fairly safe, fairly dull though technically quite good, but all of women (which I suppose is an upgrade on it being an old and wrinkly man like it has been in previous years)... I will admit, that the image of the African girl that came in third was one I gave a 10 to, since it was a really striking image... but the others were just... well... m'eh...

It was really disappointing that the shot of the really attractive male model in a white shirt against a pale wall that I wanted to give a 10 to, turned out, on closer inspection, to have been blown up too large and the whole shot was all jagged and close up it just looked awful. From a distance though... wow!

Oh, and it seems like Stu and I have possibly adopted or been adopted by (I'm not sure which yet) but the random 15yo I mentioned back on my birthday... I chatted to him a little at the beginning of the Disposable Camera shoot, and tonight he came and sat with Stu and I... asked us to take a look at his portfolio... I have to admit, the kid is talented... *mutter mutter*... a lot of his stuff was slightly predictable, but technically very proficient... lil bastard...

It also turns out that EVERYONE had craptastic photos from the Disposable Camera shoot... I took a look at at least five different people's prints... and there was a lot of bad flash, fingers in the way, out of focus, badly lit shots... so I'm so glad I didn't bother taking part.

To be honest tonight's Club was a little bit of a yawnfest... I think we possibly spent more time at coffee afterwards (and Stu and I talking in the street before he hopped in his car) than we did at the club... that might be a slight exaggeration, but possibly not by much.

And since the next meeting falls on Anzac Day, and they're going to do a "social night" instead of something actually constructive... well... I'll see if I can talk Ma into going to an extra movie... that is, if there's anything decent on...

Current Mood: non committal

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montage monday: melbourne

Monday, April 10, 2006

melbourne 2005Today's Monday Montage is a little slice of nostalgia... a year ago this coming Friday, Ma and I took off for our five day trip to Melbourne... and these are a selection of the photos I took while we were there.

Some of my photos from Melbourne have shown up on here before... I made my first template out of one of them... and the "street art" shot on the second to last row, second shot from the end showed up as a Photo Friday post back in December.

It was actually a pretty good trip... even if it had less than auspicious beginnings after our flight to Melbourne on the Thursday morning was delayed by over five hours due to a mechanical problem with the airconditioning in the plane, then an inability to fix said mechanical problem, then having to wait for them to fly a different plane out from Melbourne for us and finally arriving in Melbourne some time around in the late afternoon. But, everything happens for a reason... as we touched down in Melbourne the weather was just clearing after a torrential rainstorm that had lasted most of the day... on the Friday, Ma grabbed a copy of one of the Melbourne papers showing someone trudging down Spencer Street in the city and being soaked by the splash from a car driving past... Spencer Street being the very street we had to trudge down to get to our hotel... so that could have been us.

After that though, the weather was pretty good to us... it didn't rain at all as far as I remember, and even if we did have fairly grey and cloudy mornings most of the five days, the afternoons were pretty nice (as the mix of grey and blue skies in the photos will attest to).

And for anyone visiting Melbourne, I highly recommend the Tropicana Juice/Food Bar on Elizabeth Street for breakfast... you can't miss it, there's a photo of it right in the middle of the montage... it's the one with oranges and bananas hanging all over the facade (although now, with the price of bananas being so high, it's possibly mostly oranges).

I have to say that I'm very fond of Melbourne... not only the city and the way it feels (and the fact that I feel like I kind of know my way around it after two trips)... but particularly all of it's intelligent and artistic street art/graffiti... I made a point of dragging Ma down various and sundry back alleys when we were wandering around, just to see what we could find.

So here's to you Melbourne... Victoria and South Australia may have this whole state based rivalry thing going on... but me, I loves ya baby!

And now... in local news...

I woke up really early this morning, around 5am or so I think, after having had the WEIRDEST dream... I know, I have a lot of those... but I think possibly this morning's dream took some kind of prize, even within the rather odd category of my dreams... In the dream, I was visiting someone in some hospital, and it turned out that he or she (I don't remember now) had to have their arm amputated and for the internal logic of the dream, it had to be done with a blowtorch (I don't know either)... as the arm was starting to be severed, the person turned into a MASH-era Alan Alda, screamed, and passed out from the pain... and then I looked down at my right arm and realised that whatever had been wrong with them was now wrong with me, and I was missing a band of flesh, muscle, whatever, around half of my arm, and that it would need to be cut off with the blowtorch too... in the dream, I fully expected to scream and pass out too... but I remember feeling the pain of the blowtorch, and then I was really awake and very aware of the feeling in my right arm, and that I could actually feel it there. I think the dream pain woke me up, which is probably a good thing...

Up until now, I've been going for my walk in a pair of jeans (which now have a big rip along the knee after I fell at the beginning of March)... but I got a new pair of sweatpants/tracksuit pants (I don't know why, but I really do prefer the American term sweatpants over our Australian term tracksuit pants... or trackies... urgh) and I wore them today for the first time. The only problem is that they're sweatpants, so the pockets aren't arranged like pockets in jeans, so I didn't take my full set of keys, and my mobile sat differently in my pocket which was odd... Also, because you don't wear a belt with sweatpants (unless you're some kind of crazy person) I didn't end up taking my camera with me... so I'm going to have to work out some way of doing that (whether it ends up being crazy-person-belt-with-sweatpants styling or not, I'm not sure)... and they were pretty comfortable, even if I thought they were going to be a little too thin when I started off on the walk and the wind seemed to whip right through them.

My weird mood from Saturday continues... although I think it might have actually reached it's peak last night... I ended up resorting to my "Black Mood" journal... something I haven't written in for a year... actually exactly a year today... but I was kind of tired of blogging the same thing and the same feelings over and over again, so I decided to just dump it all down in my journal... it's also useful because I don't actually need to give any backstory, I can just do a braindump. By the end of it, I'd written five pages, and was actually feeling a little better...

One thing that I shared with the Black Mood journal that I should probably share with the rest of you... it turns out that Marc isn't actually the complete and total stranger that I thought he was. Adelaide being the "Two Degrees of Kevin Bacon" town (as opposed to the usual six) that it is, he's actually someone that I'd spoken to a long time ago on Gaydar and had expressed an interest in then too (but never hooked up with for reasons of the rules he and his boyfriend at the time played by). It also means that I know now his story about having broken up with his boyfriend was true, since the last time I saw his profile he was down as "gay male couple" with a link to his then-partner and now he's down as "single gay male". It also makes it really hard to be as completely and totally Zen about him not calling as I want to be, since it would be really easy to just drop him a message online and say hey. But if he hasn't/doesn't/won't call, then there's no point in chasing him... so I'm just going to have to behave.

Current Mood: not great, but okay

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keys to my heart

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.


I'm sure a couple of those things contradict each other... ah, the joys of being me...

Current Mood: still feelin crappy

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weird weird mood

Saturday, April 08, 2006

I've been in such a weird mood this week... especially the second half of the week... it's a whole world of needing to do something bad, extreme, different, unexpected... I don't know... just SOMETHING... it's not a new feeling, it crops up every now and again, and I usually end up doing something stupid, or slutty (or both)...

But with my recent slutty sauna adventures, thankfully I can cross slutty off the list, since I've pretty much filled my quota of that (no pun intended) for the time being... which just leaves stupid... great...

It's like I want to skip my daily walk (like I nearly did on Friday), eat junk food (which I kind of did on Friday night, but it didn't help)... oh I don't know... I want to do something that I shouldn't do... or not do something that I should...

Partly I know where it's coming from... it's the whole "trying to control something when everything else feels out of control"... so if I can't control how other people feel about me, or the whole job situation, then I can damn well control who I have sex with or what I eat or whatever... even if afterwards those choices turn out to have been really bad ideas...

I also don't think that the advent of Daylight Savings last weekend has helped my mood either... especially since the weather turned decidedly wintery last weekend, and has continued in the same vein all week... what with the apparent lack of sunshine at the end of the day (I'm sure it's actually not, but it just seems to be getting dark REALLY early suddenly), coupled with the days being cloud and cold(ish) and not overly sunny to begin with, well, I think I have a case of the Winter Blues a little early this year.

Oh, and for the record, of the five guys who I had in various spots on the horizon the other week, every one except Slick Willy (but that's only about the sex) and Marc have been removed from the running... Phoenix has "done his dash", I text messaged him on Wednesday saying "can we chat", and never heard back... sorry, you ignore me twice, we're done... buh-bye...

Okay, okay... I didn't actually delete and block him like I said I was going to... but he's in the "To Be Deleted" folder on MSN... and if I haven't heard from him by Sunday night... then he's gone!

I have no idea if Marc is actually going to call... I would think that he would after the chat we had last Saturday, but who knows... and if not, well, we're back to square one with just Slick Willy...

Good god... when did I become the heroine of a trashy romance novel with a tortured love life and a crappy trackrecord with men... sheesh...

Hopefully once I shake this mood (and these last lingering possibilities resolve themselves one way or the other) we can get back to our regularly scheduled program and I can go back to being all Zen about being alone again...

Current Mood: craptastic

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